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Won't be able to move for fat neckbeards at Goodison Park next year if this is true.

UTFRBL Just sent you a postal order herr sexenfusdbol.

To be fair I expect us to be bringing people in right to the end of the window if (and unfortunatelyvery likely) we still need players. I hope that we are bringing in our priority targets much sooner though.

Was in the same U21 side as Ashley Young.

Please. I have a double first in giraffe genetics and rocketry from Fylde Polytechnic. It's a cut throat industry but ya never know.

I had a full scholarship to Harvard from Nasa to pursue my lifelong ambition to breed giraffes in the Sahara but I thought no way can I miss out on seeing Danny Mead fire Everton to the title. How mistaken I am. Now I'm penniless and living under a bridge. Who do I blame? That cone laying twit...

Just another parasite on the bloated cadaver that was the beautiful game.

Still think we need a vomit emoji.

Purple Aki's going on holiday song?

You ain't the only one. And I am sure it's all fans of the non-scab clubs who think the same.

They'd be chiselling an X under some cave art if it was a Newcastle contract.

What part of nil satis nisi optimum does this thread not get? Mid table obscurity.

It would be great tv - are you listening Sky?!?

MV Keane as night's watchman in this analogy?

That's the Times Crossword completed for the day.

Nah, the Wests are to my mind English weirdos who typify a particular inbred nasty stupid cruelty- so certainly they'd both play for Newcastle. Liverpool would be international level weirdos so perhaps a Fritzel.

Well there's a memory unrepressed. Cheers.

I sure hope that's not an awful take.

I think Sean Lunt is rhyming slang but I can't figure out what for.

What on earth is a Hakan Çalhanoğlu backer and should we be getting involved with that sort of thing?