Man City 3-1 (4-3) Everton

Everton take the lead through Ross Barkley but then concede 3 to crash out of the league cup semi final.

More bad officiating costs blues. Written by Prevenger17.

For all 3 of you reading this, you’ll have to bear in mind that your reviewer watched this game on a stream that was more Italia 90 on the Sega Megadrive than Fifa 16. Yeah, I know it was on Sky Sports.

In what could well be a season defining game for an increasingly besieged Martinez, Osman started, prompting most Everton fans to ask if he even wants the job any more.

The opening half saw the light blue pixellated blobs control more of the possession than their darker blue counterparts, who seemed willing to sit back and soak up some early pressure. Deulofeu (at least I think it was Deulofeu) almost carved out a chance early on but was blocked by a giant sliding pixel. City danced around our area without really threatening.

Then, an early breakthrough. Receiving the ball in midfield, Ross Barkley, free from the ungrateful jeers of the Lower Gwladys, charged forward and slotted past big Willy. Advantage Everton, as Blues fans set their stopwatch in anticipation of City’s imminent goal.

It was Fernandinho that got it, as Aguero’s shot rebounded favourably for him outside the box and a deflection of Leighton Baines helped the ball loop over Robles.

1-1. Sigh.

Other highlights included our goalkeeper coming off his line and claiming a high arcing ball early, a sight we know not to get used to. Aguero, a constant nuisance, smashed a ball off the post with Robles recovering quickly to parry the rebound out of play, ensuring that he will be benched for the next game.

The second half almost saw us grab our second, as Barkley played Deulofeu through, only for Del to hit straight at big Willy. But the replacement of Delph by Navas prompted a greater urgency in Manchester City’s play. An attempt by Silva hit the post as City started to spend an alarming amount of time within a 10 yard radius of our goal.

Osman was withdrawn for James McCarthy. Martinez IN. Deulofeu was withdrawn for Kone. Catalan Clown OUT. First he giveth, then he taketh away.

Yaya Toure was withdrawn and replaced with Kevin De Bruyne. In another example of the rules of football not applying to goals against Everton, Sterling fizzed a ball that had clearly gone out of play across the net for the whitest man in Premier League history to put it in the back of the onion bag. 2-1.

Sigh.

We all know what happens next. John Stones, adding to his lengthy list of errors this season, showed Aguero inside, letting him nod in from De Bruyne’s dipping cross. Jesus effing titty Christ.

Coleman came on for Stones, but little changed. Baines swung in a free kick which was easily defended by City. A De Bruyne corner kick could easily have led to another City goal but was scuffed wide. One of our brighter moments came on the cusp of the 90th minute, when our ginger tormentor went down under a heavy challenge. Too freaking late unfortunately.

The final 5 minutes of my stream went by in a series of freeze frames. I imagined my own ending, but it had little effect on real life.

Well that’s that fellas, at least Liverpool won’t spank us in the final. Let Fumageddon commence. Who was your man of the match? Mine was Kone.