Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[the golden visionary]

I hate myself for what other people are going through ................. and I just feel a need to talk. JUST read through the last couple of pages................. and I LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxx My need to talk is a load of bull . xxxxxxx

Mate there's a commonality with this sort of thing where you look at someone else's situation and then look at your own and yours doesn't seem that important. It's called compare and despair.

The despair for you is that you want to talk but when you compare it to others it doesn't feel important which drives you again to despair as its eating you up inside.

A conversation is required as it will help you decipher between the random thoughts we all have every day, ie I've just been out for my birthday dinner with my family, saw them all sitting there with their kids and partners and I realised I may never have that, a thought popped into my head randomly which created a catastrophic train of thoughts, which basically had me considering stupid things however I identified it as a random thought and saw through my illness.

Doesn't matter where you have the convo here, with a mate, with your family or phone calm.

You won't get judged here I know that for a fact

 

[dave n]

Mate there's a commonality with this sort of thing where you look at someone else's situation and then look at your own and yours doesn't seem that important. It's called compare and despair.

The despair for you is that you want to talk but when you compare it to others it doesn't feel important which drives you again to despair as its eating you up inside.

A conversation is required as it will help you decipher between the random thoughts we all have every day, ie I've just been out for my birthday dinner with my family, saw them all sitting there with their kids and partners and I realised I may never have that, a thought popped into my head randomly which created a catastrophic train of thoughts, which basically had me considering stupid things however I identified it as a random thought and saw through my illness.

Doesn't matter where you have the convo here, with a mate, with your family or phone calm.

You won't get judged here I know that for a fact

Great post mate.

 

[Earwigjoe]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

Wow thats rough, thats alot of trials to deal with mate all coming at yous at the same time. A chara, onething id like to say first though is - I wish I'd your humility - your whole post is about everyone else and your concerns for them all, you put yourself last and only add yourself in at the end. Its obvious how much you love your parents but dont suppress your own feelings, look after yourself too buddy, we're all only human, sometimes the crosses get to heavy to carry on our own. I hope youve someone you can talk/unload to if not keep posting in here. You all seem like such a close loving family your parents done such a great job, its a real credit to them, Im sure your kids are going to have loads of great stories about their grandad from their loving Dad. God Bless mate.

 

[David09]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

Depression is a tough thing to deal with by its self mate. I understand there is a hell of a lot going on for you and your family at the moment but please don't dismiss it.
Keep talking to people even if you just pop here for a chat once in a while. Book a doctor's appointment as well for a chat if things are that bad.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Had a much better day yesterday on my friends boat. Being with someone and having normal conversations really helped

About to speak to the funeral directors so hopefully they'll be able to let me know what's happening and whether I can go home today.

Spoke to lots of family and friends last night and am surprised how well I am coping. Mind you I'd had a few so that helped.

Once again thanks for all the messages of support guys

 

[Earwigjoe]

My masters dissertation is due on Tuesday and I'm a good 8000 words short. I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm just not capable of doing it. The stress and anxiety is utterly crushing. I've felt nothing like this before and I'm struggling to deal with it. I'm pacing around, my heart is pounding and just can't keep still. My family have tried to motivate and encourage me but I'm at a total loss. The minimum word count is 13,500 and I'm doubtful I can even get close to 10,000. I simply don't know what I'm doing. I've already received the maximum allowable extension.
I absolutely hate this. Every second of it. I'm angry, sad, all the feelings.
The thing is, I know whatever I submit will fail. I've failed every step of this project - the topic just doesn't have the potential. The anxiety is worse knowing I'm gonna receive that fail. I'm autistic and during my undergrad I had a tutor that helped me schedule and deal with big work loads but I guess because of the pandemic there's been none of that kind of support. Thinking about making a complaint, too.

Good luck mate with your dissertation. As @BlueTX @Gwladysover and @COYBL25 said dont let it control you Its only an exam, maybe its a sign that maybe this route isnt meant. You've obviously got plenty of brains to be doing a masters - maybe something else will present itsself.if its causing you so much anguish already. Do your best thats all any of us can do any see what happens or what other doors open.You should be so proud to have battled with the autism to get to the point of going for a masters. Ive a son and grandaughter who are severely autistic and non verbal all power to you brother - your achievements are amazing.

 

[Barnfred 55]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

It's been a tough year hasn't it mate. As well as my lovely wife I also lost my brother back in May. He was in remission from leukaemia and was recovering well from a stem cell donation last December. I was a perfect match and everything was going well we thought. But he could an infection in May,which spread to his blood and then his brain. He went downhill fast and died within 7 days.

Two best mates gone within 4 months.

 

[Earwigjoe]

On autism, I got sent a link yesterday to Sunderland afc. Its off a sensory room inside their ground for kids with autism and sensory processing difficulties. Its AMAZING does anyone know if we're planning on doing 1 of these at BMD. My teenage son is my pride and joy hes severely autistic and I havent been to a match since he was born, I m in Ireland and wouldnt go away without him, my eldest son still goes over but id love to be able to bring the youngest over for a game.

 

[Cameron Manning]

Had a much better day yesterday on my friends boat. Being with someone and having normal conversations really helped

About to speak to the funeral directors so hopefully they'll be able to let me know what's happening and whether I can go home today.

Spoke to lots of family and friends last night and am surprised how well I am coping. Mind you I'd had a few so that helped.

Once again thanks for all the messages of support guys

Keep doing what you are doing, good friends and family will help ease your pain, the funeral directors will be a big help in arranging everything and put your mind at ease over all that needs to be done. Come back on here and talk as much as want about how you are feeling and coping. Very best wishes and stay close to the people who know you best, they will help you with laughter, memories and keep you focussed.

 

[dublinbluenose]

It's been a tough year hasn't it mate. As well as my lovely wife I also lost my brother back in May. He was in remission from leukaemia and was recovering well from a stem cell donation last December. I was a perfect match and everything was going well we thought. But he could an infection in May,which spread to his blood and then his brain. He went downhill fast and died within 7 days.

Two best mates gone within 4 months.

Life just isnt fair a lot of the time. Glad to hear your able to find some comfort from spending time with your mate. It must be a surreal time for you.

I'll be thinking of you as I'm sure everyone here will be as well.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Boss how this thread unites us Blue brothers and sisters regardless of any bickering about the football.

Hope you're all doing well this evening guys keep smiling every day is precious x

 

[Earwigjoe]

Just found out we're going to have a sensory room and box at BMD. Im proper, proper buzzing cant wait to take the wee man over. UTFT.

 

[NathDogg]

Just found out we're going to have a sensory room and box at BMD. Im proper, proper buzzing cant wait to take the wee man over. UTFT.

That's brilliant news mate, glad we are being forward thinking with the new gaff.

 

[Zezti]

Good luck mate with your dissertation. As @BlueTX @Gwladysover and @COYBL25 said dont let it control you Its only an exam, maybe its a sign that maybe this route isnt meant. You've obviously got plenty of brains to be doing a masters - maybe something else will present itsself.if its causing you so much anguish already. Do your best thats all any of us can do any see what happens or what other doors open.You should be so proud to have battled with the autism to get to the point of going for a masters. Ive a son and grandaughter who are severely autistic and non verbal all power to you brother - your achievements are amazing.

Thanks mate. Thing is, all my grades on this masters were pretty good, in the range of 70+ throughout the year so I'm definitely academically able at this level, but its just this project is so big. I can't write for crap. I can't make the words up and its so distressing. I go to one place in the document, think of a sentence and that's it. Repeat hundreds of times throughout the past month and all I've got to is less than half way there.
I'm about to submit whatever I've got tonight. It will be a guaranteed fail, probably around the 20-30% mark (pass mark is 50%). I'm cheesing it a lot by throwing in one of my interview transcripts where it shouldn't be to make up the words. I figure its better to do that than submit something under the minimum.

There's an alternative route where I can get a postgraduate diploma instead of a masters by foregoing the dissertation, but I know I'd forever feel like I let myself down at the final hurdle so I can't bring myself to do that in any event despite how terrible it makes me feel.

I know its supposed to be individual work but the simple matter is I admit I needed help like the autism mentor that I had at undergrad. They would help me make sense of so much of what I had to do and not having that has been so difficult. Supervisors and module leaders are so hands-off, they're essentially useless.

 

[Spadge Vernacular]

Thanks mate. Thing is, all my grades on this masters were pretty good, in the range of 70+ throughout the year so I'm definitely academically able at this level, but its just this project is so big. I can't write for crap. I can't make the words up and its so distressing. I go to one place in the document, think of a sentence and that's it. Repeat hundreds of times throughout the past month and all I've got to is less than half way there.
I'm about to submit whatever I've got tonight. It will be a guaranteed fail, probably around the 20-30% mark (pass mark is 50%). I'm cheesing it a lot by throwing in one of my interview transcripts where it shouldn't be to make up the words. I figure its better to do that than submit something under the minimum.

There's an alternative route where I can get a postgraduate diploma instead of a masters by foregoing the dissertation, but I know I'd forever feel like I let myself down at the final hurdle so I can't bring myself to do that in any event despite how terrible it makes me feel.

I know its supposed to be individual work but the simple matter is I admit I needed help like the autism mentor that I had at undergrad. They would help me make sense of so much of what I had to do and not having that has been so difficult. Supervisors and module leaders are so hands-off, they're essentially useless.

Hi mate, have you made your supervisor aware of your struggles, and if so what additional support did they offer? If nothing it may be helpful to speak with your institute's student support services as it might be that your situation falls within the bounds of 'extenuating circumstances'. Even if you have discussed your situation with your supervisor or another member of staff, this does not constitute a formal submission of an extenuating circumstances claim. You would need to act quickly as it is your responsibility to get such information in prior to the relevant boards and panels meeting. You would need to provide as much evidence as is possible to support such a claim for the institute to gauge the effect the extenuating circumstances have had upon your academic performance, and they will consider previous performance as a base level comparator, but it might be something to consider. Speak to them, if they can help, they will.