Best man

[micknick]

I need help- Ive been asked to be best man at my mates wedding. The wedding is on the 28th July and I want to add some witty jokes- but I am struggling.

Let me set the scene a little- Ive been mates with Jim since we were about 5 or 6- we are now 27. He is marrying my cousin and the wedding reception is taking place at the venue I work at- VERY CLOSE TO HOME!

Chico Im looking to and others please can you try and help make an unfunny bloke funny?!!?


:huh: :blink:

 

[gordonjblair]

sorry, did you just say you were marrying your cousin?

 

[gordonjblair]

oh..... pity, you could have made it onto the Jeremy Kyle show

 

[Dom1878]

after googling it (i had nothing else to do...)(my life is sad) i found some,

To ____ and _______, may all their ups and downs be between the sheets.

taken from... http://www.presentationhelper.co.uk/best_man.htm

Marriage: the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Your doomed micknick!

Im sure Chico can add some dirty jokes in there

 

[Dom1878]

oh..... pity, you could have made it onto the Jeremy Kyle show

his life long ambition

 

[chicoazul]

I hear your SOS mate.

Find out where the Hen night is. Get launched beforehand. Rattle your cousin (you dont want offspring with seven fingers etc). Take photos. Go to Wedding. Stand up to do speech. Put aforementioned pictures on the overhead projector (every wedding venue should have one). Cue disbelief and nervous laughs from those present.

Hey presto, best speech ever.

 

[Latch]

I need help- Ive been asked to be best man at my mates wedding. The wedding is on the 28th July and I want to add some witty jokes- but I am struggling.

Let me set the scene a little- Ive been mates with Jim since we were about 5 or 6- we are now 27. He is marrying my cousin and the wedding reception is taking place at the venue I work at- VERY CLOSE TO HOME!

Chico Im looking to and others please can you try and help make an unfunny bloke funny?!!?


:huh: :blink:

That's my birthday. b)

I've been best man twice, keep it short Mike, that's my only tip.

 

[Dom1878]

my advice, suddenly come down with a case of laryngitis...

...so being best man, have you done the stag do already? what was/is it?

 

[chicoazul]

Have you got any embarassing photos of your pal as a kid?

 

[Rob]

Can I suggest instead of the traditional best man speech you keep it short and sweet.

Tell your mate how chuffed and happy you are for him, hope that they stay happy forever and make a toast.

I'm telling you everyone there will thank you for not rabbiting on!

 

[micknick]

Ok Ive scanned in some pictures- some of which are hilarious on there own. I have also ordered a life size cardboard cut out of the groom as an ice breaker. Hes dressed as a cowboy from his stag do in Newquay. Im going to start by saying something like:

I feel I must apologise as Ive brought along an uninvited guest with me, we met him at the stag do in Newquay

Then go and get the cut out from behind a door.

Hopefully that will work as a good ice breaker. My next line is

As you can imagine Im pretty nervous talking in front of all you lovely people today but i am comforted by the fact I did a bit of run through- a dress rehearsal really, it was at an old peoples home down the road, I think it went really well.....well they all pissed themselves anyway.

 

[Rob]

haha nice one

Just make sure some idiot doesn't move the cut out 2 mins before you do the speech...