Child Support claims

[monty]

Enjoy


I love 10 and 11 !!!!!!

>
> The following are all replies that British women have put on Child
> Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These
> Are genuine excerpts from the forms.
>
>
> 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was
> fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
> child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
>
> 2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
> being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
> provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party
> if this helps.
>
> 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
> conceived at a party at 36, Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex
> with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that
> I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me
> his phone number? Thanks.
>
> 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a
> BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
> Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if
> he's had it replaced.
>
> 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
> confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
> rose again.
>
> 6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to
> do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications
> for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right
> by the country. Please advice.
>
> 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look
> the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
>
> 8. Peter Jones is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him,
> can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
>
> 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro
> Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
>
> 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember
> for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
> If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party
> at 146, Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.
>
> 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all
> when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart
>
>
>

 

[monty]

These are cute

Sloopy but nice

Subject: FW: What love means to a 4-8 year old...




> > Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching
> > words from the mouth of babes.
> >
>
> > A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
> > year-olds, 'What does love mean?'
> >
> > The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have
> > imagined See what you think:
> >
> >
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
> > toenails anymore.
> > So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
> > arthritis too. That's love.'
> >
> > Rebecca- age 8
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
> > You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
> >
> > Billy - age 4
> >
> >
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and
> > they go out and smell each other.'
> >
> > Karl - age 5
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
> > fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
> >
> > Chrissy - age 6
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
> >
> > Terri - age 4
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
> > before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
> >
> > Danny - age 7
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,
> > you still want to be together and you talk more.
> > My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
> >
> > Emily - age 8
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
> > presents and listen.'
> >
> > Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> > 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who
> > you hate,'
> >
> > Nikka - age 6
> > (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
> >
> >________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
> > everyday.'
> >
> > Noelle - age 7
> >
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
> > friends even after they know each other so well.'
> >
> > Tommy - age 6
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
> > all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
> >
> > He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
> >
> > Cindy - age 8
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'My mommy loves me more than anybody
> > You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
> >
> > Clare - age 6
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
> >
> > Elaine-age 5
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> > 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
> > handsomer than Robert Redford.'
> >
> > Chris - age 7
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all
> > day.'
> >
> > Mary Ann - age 4
> >
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes
> > and has to go out and buy new ones.'
> >
> > Lauren - age 4
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> > 'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars
> > come out of you.' (what an image)
> >
> > Karen - age 7
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's
> > gross.'
> >
> > Mark - age 6
> >
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >
> > 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean
> > it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
> >
> > Jessica - age 8
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> > And the final one
> >
> > The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
> > elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
> >
> > Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
> > yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
> >
> > When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy
> > said,
> >
> > 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'
> >
> >
> > ________________________________
> >
> >

 

[a2b chris]

Monty can i kidnap this one for my new sig?

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4
________________________________

 

[monty]

Monty can i kidnap this one for my new sig?

feel free Chris old son, there are on or two crackers in that lot