Alan Whittle
Player Valuation: £60m
Oi you!!! No offence mate but stay at home. A gentle breeze wafting up from Surrey Street market could have the roof off the Holmesdale so we don't want any of the weather you traditionally bring with you....
So to business......three is the magic number as the song goes. If Palace win on Saturday we will have beaten Everton three times in a row. I thought, (only for a fleeting moment) to look up the record books to see if this had been achieved before in our glorious history......then I clutched at my stomach and rolled around on the floor laughing insanely at my own stupidity. These are heady days at Selhurst Park. They won't last of course, they never do, but we are enjoying them. The ether that this relative success gives off means that we occasionally resort to the kind of pretentious dum*a*s thinking that is illustrated above.
We are in a bit of form though. Four wins in a row since Pardew** joined. Coming from behind in the last three games.
** This returning Palace hero stuff is a load of clonk btw. He played for us for four years, was a perennial boo boy but has been dining out on one magic moment (albeit an uber magic moment) since 1989.
We now have what is approaching a squad that has competition for places and is capable of tactical adjustments . Strange words and concepts down in SE25.
This is of course is about the point where Chico will launch into sniggering cruelty about the limitations of the opponents and stereotypical regional observations about the good burghers of the opposition locality.
But I say Nay Sir.....not I!!. Those depths shall never be plumbed by me when the Blues are in town. Proper club, proper fans refusing to be seduced by the false glamour of the tarnished Premier League jewels. You are, as ever, welcome.
Speroni is not as commanding as he once was in goal and has genuine competition for the green (puce /pink/ canary) jersey in Wayne Hennesey. The back four is pretty settled although Kelly from the RS has not been all that had been hoped for so far. Ledley and Macarthur in the centre of the midfield are playing so well that Jedinak may not get straight back in when he returns from the Asia cup.
Up front Puncheon, Zaha (more recently) and Gayle are all tremendous nick and I would favour them all over twenty yards against Jags or Distin even if the blue boys had a five yard start. (Baines and Coleman would be a different story though). We have Yaya Sanogo on loan from Arsenal who looks decent and Chamakh is back from injury and looking sharp.
Official nemises of Goodison Yannick Bolasie is plying his trade in the African cup of Nations for Congo and so his particular brand of dazzling wingplay / irritating bravado (much less of the latter recently to be fair) will be missing.
I have no idea what has happened to Everton. Man for man they are a very decent top half side (although by Everton standards I recognise that ought not to be enough.) Suffice to say, after Saturday I hope you smash the bells out of everyone you play and soar up the table and see off Johnny foreigner to triumph in the Ropey Cup.
To all traveling Evertonians have a safe trip.
"ALANPARDEWSRED'N'BLUEARMY"......doesn't sound right yet does it?
Still....
