Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian
The Unobstructed View
lifted from virginmedia
It sounds like a joke but with 500 people treated in hospital each year as a result of choking and other biscuit-related injuries, it seems that there’s a good reason they’re kept securely in a tin. We count down the ten most dangerous biccies according to their Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation (BITE) risk ratings…
10.
Biscuit: Shortbread
Risk rating: 2.90
It is supposed to be Scotland’s biscuity gift to the world but now we know that it carries a BITE rating of 2.90 we can safely conclude that shortbread is actually some kind of delicious, crumbly Celtic revenge – much as we always suspected.
9.
Biscuit: Ginger Nut
Risk rating: 2.99
No one is ever prepared for the hardness of a ginger nut. While you might be willing to risk the potential damage to your teeth for a taste of that sweet, ginger flavour, 10% of Brits have regretted it after breaking a tooth or losing a filling to a biscuit.
8.
Biscuit: Digestive
Risk rating: 3.14
The survey revealed that more than a quarter of adults have been splashed by hot drinks perhaps while attempting a particularly tricky biscuit dunk.
So, although the digestive is promoted as a quiet and simple biscuit, don’t forget that in conjunction with tea it can be a hazardous proposition as its 3.14 rating proves.
7.
Biscuit: Oat Biscuit
Risk rating: 3.31
Another choke hazard biscuit, accounting for its threat level of 3.31.
Bizarrely, the list of injuries include people who have poked themselves in the eye with biscuits, which suggests that perhaps dunking needs to go onto the National Curriculum for the safety of future generations of HobNobbers.
6.
Biscuit: Bourbon
Risk rating: 3.44
Some of the injuries sustained by biscuit-loving Brits suggest that it’s the deliciousness of the biscuits that are the root cause.
Take for example the several genuine cases of people falling off their chairs while reaching for a biscuit – sounds like a “Need one more Bourbon” situation if ever there was one.
5.
Biscuit: Rich Tea
Risk rating: 3.45
Another biscuit that looks innocent and yet its appearance hides the fact that without a moment’s notice the Rich Tea would gladly send you straight to A & E.
As Britain’s favourite dunking biscuit, it could be that consumers have been scalded after over-dunking their Rich Tea.
4.
Biscuit: Wafer
Risk rating: 3.74
You’d imagine that the floaty-light crumbs that you get from wafers which create a potential choking hazard would be the prime reason that they get a high threat rating of 3.74.
That means you could eat three Jaffa Cakes (BITE rating 1.16) for the same risk factor - sounds like a good deal.
3.
Biscuit: Choc Bar (e.g. Rocky)
Risk rating: 4.12
Strangely, the BITE study was commissioned by Rocky, who must be kicking themselves when their own product ranked in the top three danger biscuits – with a rating of 4.12.
Marketing Director for Rocky, Mike Driver admitted: “Working with biscuits every day, we’d long suspected they’re not as innocent as they look.”
2.
Biscuit: Cookie
Risk rating: 4.34
Who knows whether it’s the crumbs cookies generate or the chocolate chips that make them the second most dangerous biscuit with a rating of 4.34.
Perhaps it’s simply because they’re so very moreish – one man got stuck in wet concrete after trying to retrieve a cookie. Be warned, sometimes you have to leave a biscuit behind.
1.
Biscuit: Custard Cream
Risk rating: 5.64
Proving once and for all that looks can be deceiving, the innocent looking butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-filling custard cream is the worst biscuit for injuries.
With a BITE (Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation) rating of 5.64 that means it’s approximately twice as dangerous as the 10th placed biscuit: shortbread.
so there you have it, proof indeed that the world has gone mad when people are being paid to investigate things like this.
No mention of the Garibaldi though which suprised me.
It sounds like a joke but with 500 people treated in hospital each year as a result of choking and other biscuit-related injuries, it seems that there’s a good reason they’re kept securely in a tin. We count down the ten most dangerous biccies according to their Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation (BITE) risk ratings…
10.
Biscuit: Shortbread
Risk rating: 2.90
It is supposed to be Scotland’s biscuity gift to the world but now we know that it carries a BITE rating of 2.90 we can safely conclude that shortbread is actually some kind of delicious, crumbly Celtic revenge – much as we always suspected.
9.
Biscuit: Ginger Nut
Risk rating: 2.99
No one is ever prepared for the hardness of a ginger nut. While you might be willing to risk the potential damage to your teeth for a taste of that sweet, ginger flavour, 10% of Brits have regretted it after breaking a tooth or losing a filling to a biscuit.
8.
Biscuit: Digestive
Risk rating: 3.14
The survey revealed that more than a quarter of adults have been splashed by hot drinks perhaps while attempting a particularly tricky biscuit dunk.
So, although the digestive is promoted as a quiet and simple biscuit, don’t forget that in conjunction with tea it can be a hazardous proposition as its 3.14 rating proves.
7.
Biscuit: Oat Biscuit
Risk rating: 3.31
Another choke hazard biscuit, accounting for its threat level of 3.31.
Bizarrely, the list of injuries include people who have poked themselves in the eye with biscuits, which suggests that perhaps dunking needs to go onto the National Curriculum for the safety of future generations of HobNobbers.
6.
Biscuit: Bourbon
Risk rating: 3.44
Some of the injuries sustained by biscuit-loving Brits suggest that it’s the deliciousness of the biscuits that are the root cause.
Take for example the several genuine cases of people falling off their chairs while reaching for a biscuit – sounds like a “Need one more Bourbon” situation if ever there was one.
5.
Biscuit: Rich Tea
Risk rating: 3.45
Another biscuit that looks innocent and yet its appearance hides the fact that without a moment’s notice the Rich Tea would gladly send you straight to A & E.
As Britain’s favourite dunking biscuit, it could be that consumers have been scalded after over-dunking their Rich Tea.
4.
Biscuit: Wafer
Risk rating: 3.74
You’d imagine that the floaty-light crumbs that you get from wafers which create a potential choking hazard would be the prime reason that they get a high threat rating of 3.74.
That means you could eat three Jaffa Cakes (BITE rating 1.16) for the same risk factor - sounds like a good deal.
3.
Biscuit: Choc Bar (e.g. Rocky)
Risk rating: 4.12
Strangely, the BITE study was commissioned by Rocky, who must be kicking themselves when their own product ranked in the top three danger biscuits – with a rating of 4.12.
Marketing Director for Rocky, Mike Driver admitted: “Working with biscuits every day, we’d long suspected they’re not as innocent as they look.”
2.
Biscuit: Cookie
Risk rating: 4.34
Who knows whether it’s the crumbs cookies generate or the chocolate chips that make them the second most dangerous biscuit with a rating of 4.34.
Perhaps it’s simply because they’re so very moreish – one man got stuck in wet concrete after trying to retrieve a cookie. Be warned, sometimes you have to leave a biscuit behind.
1.
Biscuit: Custard Cream
Risk rating: 5.64
Proving once and for all that looks can be deceiving, the innocent looking butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-filling custard cream is the worst biscuit for injuries.
With a BITE (Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation) rating of 5.64 that means it’s approximately twice as dangerous as the 10th placed biscuit: shortbread.
so there you have it, proof indeed that the world has gone mad when people are being paid to investigate things like this.
No mention of the Garibaldi though which suprised me.
