Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[AmericasToffee]

Talk on. And maybe avoid the main forum until the fume passes lol

 

[MrD]

I'm struggling to find somewhere to live back in North Wales near my little girl.

A lot of.places I call up about require you to be employed. The ones that don't go in an instant and the ones that are available the estate agent don't answer the phone!

I'm getting stressed out with it all. Need a place there so I can look for work in the area but need a job there in order to find a place to live.

The more stressed I get the more regretful and hateful about losing my missus and our home. Plus staying in my mum's is getting unbearable.

 

[Nymzee]

I'm struggling to find somewhere to live back in North Wales near my little girl.

A lot of.places I call up about require you to be employed. The ones that don't go in an instant and the ones that are available the estate agent don't answer the phone!

I'm getting stressed out with it all. Need a place there so I can look for work in the area but need a job there in order to find a place to live.

The more stressed I get the more regretful and hateful about losing my missus and our home. Plus staying in my mum's is getting unbearable.

Can you not search for a job there based where you’re at now and then find a spot to live when you get a job secured?

Or maybe there’s a website out there where you can crash on people’s couches/spare rooms for a bit?

 

[Bungle]

I'm struggling to find somewhere to live back in North Wales near my little girl.

A lot of.places I call up about require you to be employed. The ones that don't go in an instant and the ones that are available the estate agent don't answer the phone!

I'm getting stressed out with it all. Need a place there so I can look for work in the area but need a job there in order to find a place to live.

The more stressed I get the more regretful and hateful about losing my missus and our home. Plus staying in my mum's is getting unbearable.

Will the council not offer you something? Even if only a temporary bedsit so you have somewhere to start re-building? If you find an estate agent that has a place available I assume that'll be a private let, I might have got the wrong end of the stick but a private let isn't going to be cheap so are you not going to struggle to fund that even if you find somewhere?

When I became homeless years ago I managed to get a place at the YMCA, I didn't need a referral or anything, just popped in and filled in a form and then went for an interview, 2 days later I moved in. They helped me get back on my feet and you get the benefit of a support worker to help with paperwork for housing benefit, universal credit etc, plus they'll help you prepare for going back to work. I've only done a quick google search but it looks like they do operate in North Wales so maybe that's an avenue worth exploring just to get your own space and some additional support?

 

[Bungle]

Any joy @MrD?

 

[MrD]

Any joy @MrD?

Having been accepted for universal credit, they also told me I can have help towards rent and a deposit etc.

I rang up about every place to rent that was within my budget yesterday and everything has gone.

As a last resort I looked on spareroom.co.uk and found a few nice houses that rent a room and allow full access to the house etc.
Luckily I had a nice fella reply right away, I told him my situation and he was ok with it. I'm going to see the house on Friday.

So hopefully, the Universal credit/housing association can sort me out with the rent and that until I get work there.

If that goes down the pan I'll have to find something else.

 

[AmericasToffee]

Having been accepted for universal credit, they also told me I can have help towards rent and a deposit etc.

I rang up about every place to rent that was within my budget yesterday and everything has gone.

As a last resort I looked on spareroom.co.uk and found a few nice houses that rent a room and allow full access to the house etc.
Luckily I had a nice fella reply right away, I told him my situation and he was ok with it. I'm going to see the house on Friday.

So hopefully, the Universal credit/housing association can sort me out with the rent and that until I get work there.

If that goes down the pan I'll have to find something else.

Seems promising

 

[AmericasToffee]

@gorgeousgeorgeEFC how you doing fella

 

[EFCPaul]

Been wobbling the past few days.

Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.

Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.

This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.

My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).

Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?

 

[roydo]

She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

I love this job and the people

probation period

I would say that you seem to be making a positive impression on you new work mates. It is 100% normal to feel stressed in any new job, and being honest, having the stones to own up to a cock up during probation will have impressed them more.

 

[Bungle]

Having been accepted for universal credit, they also told me I can have help towards rent and a deposit etc.

I rang up about every place to rent that was within my budget yesterday and everything has gone.

As a last resort I looked on spareroom.co.uk and found a few nice houses that rent a room and allow full access to the house etc.
Luckily I had a nice fella reply right away, I told him my situation and he was ok with it. I'm going to see the house on Friday.

So hopefully, the Universal credit/housing association can sort me out with the rent and that until I get work there.

If that goes down the pan I'll have to find something else.

That's good to hear mate, they sorted the Universal Credit claim pretty quickly by the sounds of it.

Hope the house share option works and you like the place after the visit on Friday.

 

[AmericasToffee]

Been wobbling the past few days.

Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.

Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.

This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.

My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).

Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?

Play devil's advocate or the opposing mindset with yourself. I can't think of anything off the top of my head besides trying to stay mostly neutral on things. Things are likely never as bad as they seem.

 

[MrD]

Been wobbling the past few days.

Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.

Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.

This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.

My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).

Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?

I'm far from a positive person. In fact I often totally sabotage anything good by thinking the worst.
It often turns out that I needn't have worried myself sick.

What she said to you was great. Try to take what she said on face value no matter how you think otherwise.

Just trust that you done the right thing by admitting your mistake and trust in others when they say you're a valuable member of the team.

The little gremlins that tell us otherwise are so convincingly ruinous that we can often create more of a problem than is actually there.

Take it from me mate, please, you enjoy your job, you have a good one it seems, grab it with both hands and be the valuable addition that the rest of the team say you are.

Stress is an awful thing. Try to find a way to remove YOUR perceived situation from what is actually going on and what others tell you.

But from what I've read, your job is going through a stressful time, a mistake was made and you manned up and it was fixed.

To me, that's great and I think your superior thinks so too.

That's good to hear mate, they sorted the Universal Credit claim pretty quickly by the sounds of it.

Hope the house share option works and you like the place after the visit on Friday.

Yeah, the application went through fast, I won't get any money until 22nd September (typical that it's the same day as what would have been my ex and mines 9th anniversary) though but I hope they can help me quickly secure this place.

It's a nice big home and the guy and his other Tennant's sound cool. I just hope nothing goes wrong with the rent help etc.

If I do get it it won't be ideal having to share but it's only temporary and at least I won't be living alone in a bedsit while I'm struggling with issues.

I need a break!

 

[shackattack]

Been wobbling the past few days.

Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.

Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.

This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.

My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).

Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?

self belief is not always about being arrogant. you made a mistake and owned up to it, something that most people would never do. your integrity is good and an employer will recognise that . don't be so hard on yourself, move on and learn. you'll be sound

 

[AmericasToffee]

I'm far from a positive person. In fact I often totally sabotage anything good by thinking the worst.
It often turns out that I needn't have worried myself sick.

What she said to you was great. Try to take what she said on face value no matter how you think otherwise.

Just trust that you done the right thing by admitting your mistake and trust in others when they say you're a valuable member of the team.

The little gremlins that tell us otherwise are so convincingly ruinous that we can often create more of a problem than is actually there.

Take it from me mate, please, you enjoy your job, you have a good one it seems, grab it with both hands and be the valuable addition that the rest of the team say you are.

Stress is an awful thing. Try to find a way to remove YOUR perceived situation from what is actually going on and what others tell you.

But from what I've read, your job is going through a stressful time, a mistake was made and you manned up and it was fixed.

To me, that's great and I think your superior thinks so too.

Yeah, the application went through fast, I won't get any money until 22nd September (typical that it's the same day as what would have been my ex and mines 9th anniversary) though but I hope they can help me quickly secure this place.

It's a nice big home and the guy and his other Tennant's sound cool. I just hope nothing goes wrong with the rent help etc.

If I do get it it won't be ideal having to share but it's only temporary and at least I won't be living alone in a bedsit while I'm struggling with issues.

I need a break!

Look at this guy being positive