Films in an alternate universe

[Kurt.]

Apologies… I’m on call, can’t drink and I’m bored. On my second film tonight and my weird brain starting thinking of great films we know and love .. but in an alternate universe…. Forgive me in advance.

Forest Stump

A young lad was fitted with leg braces but unfortunately they didn’t work so he has both legs amputated above the knee, we follow his life’s journey.

The Gordfather

An Italian mafioso chef who runs his kitchen like Gordon Ramsay but he gets betrayed by his half brother .. SemiFredo



(I told you it was a bad thread but you guys might come up with some gold )

 

[Rita_Poon]

Was he still playing right back?

 

[IrishBlue2022]

This makes the aids thread look good.

 

[Kurt.]

 

[Rita_Poon]

'lad' wasn't in the original post, that's very naughty of you. There was room for some commentary there at least...

 

[Kurt.]

'lad' wasn't in the original post, that's very naughty of you. There was room for some commentary there at least...

Genuine typo

 

[DavidH]

The Long Crap Friday

Half hard bald cockney geezer decides to stay in and order a Chinese only to find it's closed so he has a pack of Koka Noodles and gets an early night.

 

[DavidH]

Oh god I'm turning down guaranteed sex to stay up here

 

[Rita_Poon]

Let's get rid of cage, and get a proper actor in. He can keep 'leaving las vegas', but the rest needs real pro's or binning.

 

[DavidH]

Peter Pancakes

Random kid flies round town just giving people pancakes

Hamshank Redemption

Unlimited meat on the bone

 

[DavidH]

Black Hawk brown

Local bullies spray paint a black hawk brown, but he gets his revenge. And rightly so.

 

[Kurt.]

Let's get rid of cage, and get a proper actor in. He can keep 'leaving las vegas', but the rest needs real pro's or binning.

Wrong in 60 seconds

Nic cage portrays a streetwise car booster but everyone realises he’s a crap actor and turn it off after the first minute

 

[Cels]

One of my favourite Bruce Lee movies, Fisting of Fury... thinking about it, that might actually be a martial arts porno.

 

[Kurt.]

Toy Story… uncut

Filmed in Andy’s mums bedroom featuring her very own Buzzy lightyear

 

[Goat]

Jesus Christ.

Did some of you get glue for Christmas?