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How to win friends and influence people

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micknick

micknick

Player Valuation: £70m
Forum Supporter
Ive been a member on this forum pretty much since its creation I like quite a few others progressed from old regime that wasnt as 'friendly' as this place.

Now during this time you cant help but forge bonds and friendships with people and gain respect for individual posters. Even when sometimes you disagree with what someone says you respect their opinion and discuss it, hence what a forum is all about. Danny for instance, at times we disgaree on things but as the forum owner I respect the hard work he puts in and also the fact that he is a nice guy and when he posts things I disagree with it is discussed rather than argued.

So where does the line get crossed with people you get on with and respect and people you dont. What is tolerable in terms of disagreeing and not letting it get personal?

If you argue in private and say things you later regret should that be brought into the public?
 
Think the best bet is to remember its just a forum.

If you cant do that and certain people really get to you, use the ignore feature?
 

It comes down to whether someone is a arse or not really.

Sounds pretty simple but thats cause it is. I dont care if someone has a different opinion to me, infact its good because i like discussing things with people, and thats what forums are there for.

As long as they can debate and discusss things in a mature and respectful manner without being an idiot i'm quite happy to co exist with them on the same site.

After spending a few months on any forum you get to know its regular posters and what people are like, and i can honestly say ive yet to form the view that anyone on here is a complete arse. Which is unusual because on every forum ive ever been on you always get at least one, if not more.

There's been people i havent agreed with, and especially the last few days there's been a lot of comments that have made me just want to scream at the poster because i thought they were talking absolute [Poor language removed].

But i didnt because overall everyone on here is pretty much sound and its a friendly place to be and i wouldnt wanna upset that. Because i'm not an arse. (Feel free to argue with that if you so wish though :) )

I'll always try and get on with everyone and keep things friendly, even when it gets heated i dont like to keep a grudge. Most people can usually tell when someone crosses the line and is just a total arse though, its only 1 or 2 usually so its pretty easy to ignore them.
 
There is something a bit more underlying here- Im not sure what it is but when you get a group of people that are from all walks of life there are bound to be fall outs but when normally sound grounded people are badgered into not posting or being pissed off then something needs to happen.

Fozzy isnt posting anymore, he contributes a hell of a lot to this forum and we need people like him.

Monty hasnt been on for a while and one person has been a big reason to this- you know who you are.

I dont know what the answer is but it is such a shame that we have lost at least two people (in the mean time) that I not only class as mates but people who contribute a hell of a lot.
 

Ive been around since the old toffeeweb board, I was never a mega poster, but i think i posted there slightly more regularly than I have here because i tend to lurk more, Ive still been around though.

I think the main reason I started posting less was because a lot of the debates seem to be re-hashes of the exact same debate 12 months earlier, moyes in/out etc who we need to buy who we need to sell etc.
More often than not I had begun to write a post/response/statement and realised i was saying almost word for word what i had already said times before.

I think efc's unstable position contributed to the cycles of the same debate.

Ive noticed recently though that has gone away, as we have become more consistent, optimistic and confident.
I'm enjoying the forums more these days.

I think all forums are dictated by the focus of their content.
You will always get loutish, nobbish behaviour from time to time, because 'some' football fans ARE louts and nobs.
But we are still passionate, and if were not happy on-the-field some people are liable to take it out on forums, and I think a certain amount of abuse can be tolerated and understood, even a little bicker can be cathartic.
But the best way I have come across to deal with these type of threads without getting heavy handed, is by everybody else getting involved in the thread use a bit of humour and dilute the atmosphere.
I know if I've been wound up in the past, a little quip from some smart-arse soon makes me see things in a more balanced light.

And I think the reason why there are less nobs on here than other sites is because of the humour here, and the diversity of people on here.

Its on sites like kipper where there are so many sheep of the same ilk, that have an almost siege mentality against 'outsiders', all they do on there is bicker and talk [Poor language removed].

Ive joined kipper twice now and the most ive lasted is 36 hours without being banned.
I just couldnt take all the dickheads on there, in contrast I have never really come across ANYONE on here that i would put in that bracket for out and out abuse.
However there are some people who can have a 'spicy tone' in their posts, and some of it is sheer mis-interpretation, some of it is someone being a smart-arse.





......i have NO idea what my point was......




in closing, this is the most relaxed efc site around, and has the highest ratio of people 'you could have a pint with' per number of posters!
 

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