jokes

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

following my previous thread which is of a serious nature (britains responsibility) i thought i'd better redress the balance.


A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

A group of legionnaires strode through the scorching desert.

They hadn't had water for three days and hadn't eaten for a week
but they did not crack, and kept marching solidly on. Suddenly one
of them froze, "Psssst" said he. His companion halted, and
strained their eyes to where the first legionnaire was pointing.

"Le voila", said he, "Regardez, mes amis, isn't zat a bacon tree
on ze 'orizon"? And sure enough, there it stood, proudly and
defiant in the middle of the desert, a true bacon tree.

Slowly they crept forward towards the mystery object far off. Inch
by inch, centimetre by centimetre, until they were within a
stone's throw of the bacon tree.

Even nearer they crept, and suddenly, a shot rang out, dropping
one of the legionnaires in his tracks. The other legionnaires hit
the ground as bullets thudded into the sand around them. The other
two returned fire, and gave first aid to their wounded companion.
Even as they bandaged him, they could hear his faint voice -

"Zat was no bacon tree," he gasped, "Zat was an 'am bush."