We'd probably sign Kaiser Sozé. Go missing every match.
Following on from this post by @Blast_of_Cannock are there any movie characters you’d think would make great Everton players? What attributes or skills would would they bring to the school of science?
I’ll start with a dead easy one: Pele’s character from Escape to Victory
Also, Robert Patrick’s T-1000 from Terminator 2, he could literally change into any player we needed!!!