monty
Sack Sky and donate to GOT...donations are needed
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up
every two hours?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the
Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem
longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that it could burn the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician or Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs !
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place? ...
every two hours?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the
Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem
longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that it could burn the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician or Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs !
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place? ...
)
