The season is young, but it's already shaping up to another 10 months of absolute doom and full of ridiculous errors, misfortune and disasters that could only happen to a club as appallingly run as Everton. 2022/23 was an absolute rollercoaster of fume, including a managerial change, (unfounded) allegations of fans attacking the CEO, and the board being "unable" to attend Goodison as they feared for their safety, before (almost) all resigning.
In this post I plan to keep track (for as long as I can possibly bear it) with the mess of problems that is our football club in 2023/24. Enjoy!
August 2023
- The club start the month - and indeed the season - having not signed a first team-ready striker, despite the clear desperate need for one. Long term target El Bilal Toure joined Atalanta on 29th July (update: he's now out injured long-term)
- The club start the month - and indeed the season - having not signed a first team-ready centre back, despite the clear need for one. Michael Keane
12th August: Everton lose their first home match of the season 0-1 to Fulham, with much maligned 'backup' 'striker' Neal Maupay missing a hatful of glorious chances.
After the loss:
- Maupay reveals he's received abuse on social media after his performance. This is picked up and reported by the BBC, and the club is forced to condemn the abuse.
- Everton fail to sign a new striker in time for their next match - but welcome back the long-term injured Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Everton do sign winger Jack Harrison, but he's already pre-crocked and won't see the pitch until September. Harrison almost u-turns on moving to Everton when Aston Villa show late interest, only to pull out.
20th August: Everton lose their first away match of the season - hammered 4-0 at Aston Villa. Dominic Calvert-Lewin finally makes his return to action - but this lasts less than 40 minutes, as the striker receives a facial injury in a freak clash with Villa's keeper. Everton allowed him to play on with the injury for over 20 minutes. When he was eventually withdrawn, a small section of away fans seemingly booed him off, with DCL possibly sarcastically acknowledging this with applause.
Alex Iwobi - Everton's most creative player - is also injured (hamstring) in the match.
Manager Sean Dyche says he could have substituted the entire team at half time, so bad was the performance. Instead he made just one change at that point.
Afterward the loss:
- Amadou Onana takes to social media to reveal he has been racially abused following the defeat. Again, Everton are forced to condemn the abuse and the BBC run the story.
- Dominic Calvert-Lewin's father also takes to social media to condemn "Stone Island" wearing away fans who he felt were targetting his son with unfair abuse during the Villa game
21st August: It's announced by the Bobble (Everton ITK) that Calvert-Lewin has indeed fractured his cheekbone and will enter the concussion protocol. At the very least, this will rule the striker out of the vital next match at home to fellow losers Wolverhamton Wanderers. Everton now "leap" (crawl) into transfer action by actually making a meaningful bid for Che Adams - a player they've chased for years but never actually got around to trying to buy.
In this post I plan to keep track (for as long as I can possibly bear it) with the mess of problems that is our football club in 2023/24. Enjoy!
August 2023
- The club start the month - and indeed the season - having not signed a first team-ready striker, despite the clear desperate need for one. Long term target El Bilal Toure joined Atalanta on 29th July (update: he's now out injured long-term)
- The club start the month - and indeed the season - having not signed a first team-ready centre back, despite the clear need for one. Michael Keane
12th August: Everton lose their first home match of the season 0-1 to Fulham, with much maligned 'backup' 'striker' Neal Maupay missing a hatful of glorious chances.
After the loss:
- Maupay reveals he's received abuse on social media after his performance. This is picked up and reported by the BBC, and the club is forced to condemn the abuse.
- Everton fail to sign a new striker in time for their next match - but welcome back the long-term injured Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Everton do sign winger Jack Harrison, but he's already pre-crocked and won't see the pitch until September. Harrison almost u-turns on moving to Everton when Aston Villa show late interest, only to pull out.
20th August: Everton lose their first away match of the season - hammered 4-0 at Aston Villa. Dominic Calvert-Lewin finally makes his return to action - but this lasts less than 40 minutes, as the striker receives a facial injury in a freak clash with Villa's keeper. Everton allowed him to play on with the injury for over 20 minutes. When he was eventually withdrawn, a small section of away fans seemingly booed him off, with DCL possibly sarcastically acknowledging this with applause.
Alex Iwobi - Everton's most creative player - is also injured (hamstring) in the match.
Manager Sean Dyche says he could have substituted the entire team at half time, so bad was the performance. Instead he made just one change at that point.
Afterward the loss:
- Amadou Onana takes to social media to reveal he has been racially abused following the defeat. Again, Everton are forced to condemn the abuse and the BBC run the story.
- Dominic Calvert-Lewin's father also takes to social media to condemn "Stone Island" wearing away fans who he felt were targetting his son with unfair abuse during the Villa game
21st August: It's announced by the Bobble (Everton ITK) that Calvert-Lewin has indeed fractured his cheekbone and will enter the concussion protocol. At the very least, this will rule the striker out of the vital next match at home to fellow losers Wolverhamton Wanderers. Everton now "leap" (crawl) into transfer action by actually making a meaningful bid for Che Adams - a player they've chased for years but never actually got around to trying to buy.
