Quotations (part one): pick the bones out of this lot

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monty

Sack Sky and donate to GOT...donations are needed
Players
'The groin's been a little sore but after the semi-final I put it to the back of my head.' - MICHAEL HUGHES

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable' - PAUL GASCOIGNE

'If Gabriel Amato's shot had gone in, the result could have been different' - GIOVANNI VAN BRONCKHORST

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.' - VINNY JONES

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.' - RONNIE WHELAN

'He'd no alternative but to make a needless tackle.' - PAUL ELLIOTT

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.' - GRAEME LE SAUX

Interviewer : Which is your favourite commentary team,BBC or ITV?
Graeme Le Saux : Sky.

'He (Steve Walsh) is the type of player who will follow you to every end of the box.' - KERRY DIXON

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' - JOHNNY GILES

'Football's not like an electric light - you can't just flick the button and change from slow to quick.' - JOHN GREIG

'I was disappointed to leave Spurs, but quite pleased that I did.' - STEVE PERRYMAN

'I spent four indifferent years at Goodison, but they were great years.' - MARTIN HODGE

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe that we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.' - PETER SHILTON

'He's one of those managers you'd give your left leg to play for.' - COLIN COOPER

'I'm not convinced that Scotland will play a typically English game.' - GARETH SOUTHGATE

'We didn't think we'd come here tonight and get any sort of result.' - LES SEALEY

'If there wasn't such a thing as football we'd all be frustrated footballers.' - MICK LYONS

'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - PAUL GASCOIGNE

'Football's not just about scoring goals - it's about winning.' - ALAN SHEARER (over there)

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up' - IAN WRIGHT on his team mate's admission of alcoholism

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - GARY LINEKER

'I never predict anything, and I never will.' - PAUL GASCOIGNE

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - IAN RUSH

'My name is usually the one on the end of people's lips.' - IAN WRIGHT

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed' - MITCHELL THOMAS

'All the Leeds team are 100% behind the manager,but I can't speak for the rest of the squad.' - BRIAN GREENHOFF

'My legs sort of disappeared from nowhere.' - CHRIS WADDLE

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' - STUART PEARCE

'I can't promise anything, but I promise 100%.' - PAUL POWER

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona' - MARK DRAPER

'I may have handed in a transfer request, but there is no way that I want to leave this club.' - DAVID EYRES

'She (Eileen Drewery) gives the players a shoulder to talk to.' - NEIL WEBB

'Our consistency's been all over the place' - ANDY HINCHCLIFFE

'I've lost count of the times I've played in that fixture. Each one was a memorable occasion.' - TREVOR STEVEN

'The boss keeps those things up his sleeve, close to his chest' - CRAIG BURLEY

Rob Shepherd : 'Was there a game last season in which Blackburn's season turned around?'
Kevin Gallagher : 'Yes,when we beat Liverpool 2-0.'
Shepherd : 'And was there something in that game which made you think that the season was about to turn round for you?'
Gallagher : 'Well,we scored three goals.'

'I'm five short [of the Arsenal goalscoring record] - not that I'm counting.' - IAN WRIGHT

'No money in the world can buy a white England shirt.' - ALAN SHEARER

'The manager has given us unbelievable belief.' - PAUL MERSON

'We defended like Trojans.' - MIKE STOWELL

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms then Ian Wright.' - ROBBIE EARLE

'You don't need balls to play in a cup final.' - STEVE CLARIDGE

'Once you've had a bull terrier, you never want another dog. I've got six bull terriers, a rottweiler and a bulldog.' - JULIAN DICKS

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - BARRY VENISON

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' - IAN WRIGHT

'If it's not a contract I want then I won't sign it. That's not a threat.' - ROY KEANE

'I can't even remember when the Seventies was.' - ROBBIE KEANE

'If, since the start, I'd played well and put in some good matches it would all have been too simple.' - NICOLAS ANELKA

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.' - RICHARD RUFUS

'The left foot has helped - it's always been there, but I haven't always had the chance to use it.' - STIG INGE BJORNEBEYE

Credit card application form question : 'What is your position at the company?'
Jason McAteer's (self-confirmed) response : 'Right back.'

'I was born in Newcastle and I've played for Newcastle Schoolboys all my life.' - DENNIS TUEART

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - ALAN SHEARER

'I dreamt of playing for a club like Manchester United, and now here I am at Liverpool.' - SANDER WESTERVELD

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.' - JONATHAN WOODGATE

'My motivation and my back no longer exist.' - MARTIN DAHLIN

Interviewer : 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
DAVID BECKHAM : 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - STEVE LOMAS

'Paul Scholes - the most complete mental player I've ever seen.' - BEN THORNLEY

'Maybe the mistakes have looked worse because they led to goals.' - IAN WALKER

'It will be a difficult couple of days. It's difficult now and it will be difficult tomorrow.' - GARY NEVILLE

'I find the growing intervention by the football authorities in strictly footballing matters a rather worrying trend.' - KENNY CUNNINGHAM

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - MARK VIDUKA

'You can't do better than a goal on your first start.' - BOBBY ZAMORA

'At times they don't like you to kick them and they feel you're not allowed to kick them.' - ALAN SHEARER

'One point from an away game is no longer considered a victory.' - PETTER RUDI

'...the ball went over mine and Colin Calderwood's heads and who should be there at the far post but yours truly - Alan Shearer.' - COLIN HENDRY

'I was alone up front, with Danny Murphy playing between me, myself and the midfield.' - MICHAEL OWEN

'In football, you don’t really know what is going on but we will worry about that when it happens.' - NEIL SULLIVAN

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.' - UGO EHIOGU

'The pace of the game between first team and reserves is like night and day.' - MAURICE MALPAS

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.' - NEVILLE SOUTHALL
 

Some of those are actually almost quite clever. As for the rest....

Good one Monty. Some of them remind me of Yogi Berra - played for the New York Yankees post-WWII. Some samples of his quotations:

" It ain't over 'til it's over "

"Never answer an anonymous letter"

" I usually take a two hour nap from one to four"

" It's deja vu all over again"


" When you come to a fork in the road....Take it "

" I didn't really say everything I said "
 
"do i not like that" Graham Taylor

"do i like the look of her.... and her.... and her" Sven Eriksen
 
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