Bundy
Player Valuation: £35m
Where I work there is a section for phone techincal support for software that we create. There is one guy in particular who thinks he is king and knows it all. He may know a bit but his phone manner isn't the best, we like to keep a running log of his best comments which are below:
[After accusing a client of “speaking Engrish”, proceeds to ask the next client…] “Have you been having some difficulries?”
“50% of something is always better than 0%.” [Does that include syphilis? – Ed]
[In reference to contact lenses] “…and last night I took my eyes out, and…”
"People in glasses don’t throw stones."
“Ah… just want to confirm a phone number… 02 47 SEX… um… 6… ah, yes doctor…”
[To practice manager] “Are you pretty familiar with unzipping things?”
[Whilst on the phone with a customer] “Are you aware you can contact us by phone?”
S: "Who's Rick Jones anyhow?"
J: "No, Rick JAMES."
S: "Ah! Rick JAMES. I thought you said 'Jones'"
(pause)
S: "Who's Rick James anyhow?"
[Explaining a compressed backup] It's like the doctor reading his own handwriting; he knows he's written something but he doesn't know what it is.
“I can physically tell you now...” [As opposed to...? – Ed]
“There are three things to remember: A” [explains], “B” [explains], “and 3”
“Roman Numerals, as in the Romans” [What other Romans are there? – Ed]
“There’s no point in feeding the grass after the horse has bolted”
“It’s definitely a double don’t-do that.”
“Hi, I'm just calling to touch wood with you regarding..."
"Ipswich is rural. Well… it’s not ‘rural’ rural, but it’s not like Brisbane or Chermside.”
"So there’s a lot of duplication? Is it EXACT duplication?”
“He’s a good guy, but doesn’t know a bar of soap.”
“When you talk, all I hear is ‘blah, blah, blah’” [Included here as the epitome of irony - Ed]
[In reference to running Microsoft Virtual Machine] “Everything’s virtualised”
“You see, PKI is like JAVA – you can theoretically not use it to do anything.”
“They all use the same different code.”
“If you give us some more information, we can further and more in the further area.”
“I make a point of not butting in, unless I’m asked.”
"Yeah, I know how to use ‘case’, but how do I use it?”
“1, 2, 3, 5... I mean... 4”
"And that’s the reason why is just a courtesy to say is a communication breakdown somewhere” [I wonder where? - ed]
"I am the most knowledgeable people here, so as long as I know what the hell you're talking about, I will be able to help you"
“They’re all foreign names. …from another country.”
“…and I’m just having a dig at you – I dug at everyone.”
"He doesn't think before he, ah..." (trails off)
"It's like you want to build a house but want to put the paint up there first when there's no fkn house..."
"Ok uhhh....you have a good time...as much as you can...and i'll catch you uhh...in a couple of days"
[Explaining to Jamie that he had a client who couldn't spell Bundaberg] "..I was explaining to them, it's B-u-n-d-a-b-u......err e, I should say"
"We need a warm body on your end to start everything up...."
"You will then be chauffeured around while I do everything for you"
"Go through it with a fiiine tooth-comb"
"Chances are something happened, and that's what occured. Now, going forward"
"In this case is there is definately something going on"
[On the subject of backups] "It's like asking a black person how he feels to be white"
"If you can't trust your staff ... then there is obviously something there preventing you from trusting your staff"
"If you're inside a patients file, you have access to that patients file"
[Talking to a client about barcode size on a Pathology Request] "40mm by 40mm...that's 40cm's!"
"We can cross that bridge...when the bridge crosses"
"...the longer they wait, the more time consuming this is going to take"
"Coulda, shoulda, woulda, so to speak, in this scenario."
"Let's try and make the best out of a spilled omlette."
"Better to be safe than safe"
"something Ian did, as in 'himself"
"Some people can't put one and one together; they put one and one together and get two... um ah.. twenty."
"There's always going to be a risk of duplicatations."
"Hey Jamie, how do you spell elechon?" [Making fun of someone's spelling of "Echelon"]
"He wasn't quite large - he was just tall, stocky..."
"You need to be more enunciating clearly"
"The bets are winning"
"A budgie or a bird..."
"It's so ambigooyeous"
"MD doesn't lose data. Fullstop."
"...the only way MD can lose data is..."
"They just don't go missing."
"...they go missing because..."
"Just because your mum took out the trash for you, doesn't mean you shouldn't have done it."
"Get some clear, cold card facts."
"..reshuffling the bucket to another desk that already has a container that is full.."
"..a false negative.."
"In this case is, that's not the case right now"
"Think of a Hard-drive with a hole in it...you're not gonna get far with it carrying liquid"
"1 plus 1 doesnt always = 2
.. that was a bad example but you can use that as an example"
"More memory isn't going to give the Magic 8 Ball"
[After accusing a client of “speaking Engrish”, proceeds to ask the next client…] “Have you been having some difficulries?”
“50% of something is always better than 0%.” [Does that include syphilis? – Ed]
[In reference to contact lenses] “…and last night I took my eyes out, and…”
"People in glasses don’t throw stones."
“Ah… just want to confirm a phone number… 02 47 SEX… um… 6… ah, yes doctor…”
[To practice manager] “Are you pretty familiar with unzipping things?”
[Whilst on the phone with a customer] “Are you aware you can contact us by phone?”
S: "Who's Rick Jones anyhow?"
J: "No, Rick JAMES."
S: "Ah! Rick JAMES. I thought you said 'Jones'"
(pause)
S: "Who's Rick James anyhow?"
[Explaining a compressed backup] It's like the doctor reading his own handwriting; he knows he's written something but he doesn't know what it is.
“I can physically tell you now...” [As opposed to...? – Ed]
“There are three things to remember: A” [explains], “B” [explains], “and 3”
“Roman Numerals, as in the Romans” [What other Romans are there? – Ed]
“There’s no point in feeding the grass after the horse has bolted”
“It’s definitely a double don’t-do that.”
“Hi, I'm just calling to touch wood with you regarding..."
"Ipswich is rural. Well… it’s not ‘rural’ rural, but it’s not like Brisbane or Chermside.”
"So there’s a lot of duplication? Is it EXACT duplication?”
“He’s a good guy, but doesn’t know a bar of soap.”
“When you talk, all I hear is ‘blah, blah, blah’” [Included here as the epitome of irony - Ed]
[In reference to running Microsoft Virtual Machine] “Everything’s virtualised”
“You see, PKI is like JAVA – you can theoretically not use it to do anything.”
“They all use the same different code.”
“If you give us some more information, we can further and more in the further area.”
“I make a point of not butting in, unless I’m asked.”
"Yeah, I know how to use ‘case’, but how do I use it?”
“1, 2, 3, 5... I mean... 4”
"And that’s the reason why is just a courtesy to say is a communication breakdown somewhere” [I wonder where? - ed]
"I am the most knowledgeable people here, so as long as I know what the hell you're talking about, I will be able to help you"
“They’re all foreign names. …from another country.”
“…and I’m just having a dig at you – I dug at everyone.”
"He doesn't think before he, ah..." (trails off)
"It's like you want to build a house but want to put the paint up there first when there's no fkn house..."
"Ok uhhh....you have a good time...as much as you can...and i'll catch you uhh...in a couple of days"
[Explaining to Jamie that he had a client who couldn't spell Bundaberg] "..I was explaining to them, it's B-u-n-d-a-b-u......err e, I should say"
"We need a warm body on your end to start everything up...."
"You will then be chauffeured around while I do everything for you"
"Go through it with a fiiine tooth-comb"
"Chances are something happened, and that's what occured. Now, going forward"
"In this case is there is definately something going on"
[On the subject of backups] "It's like asking a black person how he feels to be white"
"If you can't trust your staff ... then there is obviously something there preventing you from trusting your staff"
"If you're inside a patients file, you have access to that patients file"
[Talking to a client about barcode size on a Pathology Request] "40mm by 40mm...that's 40cm's!"
"We can cross that bridge...when the bridge crosses"
"...the longer they wait, the more time consuming this is going to take"
"Coulda, shoulda, woulda, so to speak, in this scenario."
"Let's try and make the best out of a spilled omlette."
"Better to be safe than safe"
"something Ian did, as in 'himself"
"Some people can't put one and one together; they put one and one together and get two... um ah.. twenty."
"There's always going to be a risk of duplicatations."
"Hey Jamie, how do you spell elechon?" [Making fun of someone's spelling of "Echelon"]
"He wasn't quite large - he was just tall, stocky..."
"You need to be more enunciating clearly"
"The bets are winning"
"A budgie or a bird..."
"It's so ambigooyeous"
"MD doesn't lose data. Fullstop."
"...the only way MD can lose data is..."
"They just don't go missing."
"...they go missing because..."
"Just because your mum took out the trash for you, doesn't mean you shouldn't have done it."
"Get some clear, cold card facts."
"..reshuffling the bucket to another desk that already has a container that is full.."
"..a false negative.."
"In this case is, that's not the case right now"
"Think of a Hard-drive with a hole in it...you're not gonna get far with it carrying liquid"
"1 plus 1 doesnt always = 2
.. that was a bad example but you can use that as an example"
"More memory isn't going to give the Magic 8 Ball"
Last edited:
