Ridiculous Transfer sources

[Dylan]

Post the best snippets you find on your transfer news search right here for everyone to have a laugh at.

Try something like this one:

From the BBC's rumour page:

From Disco Stu, via text on 81111: "Couple of transfers at Old Trafford on the cards are Rodrigues Jadson of Shakhtar and Tom Huddlestone of Spurs. Jadson is due in for contract talks and Huddlestone's agent has been on the phone. Heard the conversation while catering."

 

[Dylan]

No one wants to share...

1321: Speculation that Jermaine Beckford has been spotted at 27 grounds in England today appear wide of the mark. We reckon he's unlikely to go anywhere today, unless one of the Premier League's early strugglers panics big time and decides to spend about £4m on a guy out of contract next summer. Unlikely.

 

[Sharpys top lip]

people keep ringing TalkSport and sayin matthew upsom is at Anfield an will sign for them...



Their skint so i think it's bollocks..

 

[Goat]

"I've just heard that Arsenal will make a bid for Fulham's Brede Hangeland, before offloading Phillippe Senderos to Hull to replace Michael Turner."

"Guy sat opposite me at work claims to have had a text from his pal who works at Man City and they are apparently lining up a last-ditch bid of £50m Cesc Fabregas."

And this CANT made me laugh :

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "The life of a football agent isn't easy either during these windows apparently. Barry Silkman, who himself is working on a couple of last-minute transfers, told me: "The problem is that there are possibly 500 working agents around and all of them are trying to do deals that 95% of the time are impossible. It takes longer these days to do a deal than ever before and, on average, I'm up from 6am until 11pm every day during a transfer window trying to things done - and that's on a good day. I've got to earn about £25k a year just to cover my phone bill, I rarely spend consecutive days at home because of the travelling and, basically, you just work and work until you exhaust yourself. I wish someone could tell me who the transfer window benefits - because as far as I can tell it's nonsense for everyone.""

What a whiney little biatch, he has to work hard for a day or 2, I bet he only earns Millions, he got interviewed the other day on Sky, walking around his 50 acres whining about how hard he works for 4 days every year, WEAPON.

 

[Goat]

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "'Sam, what goes into a player's contract these days?' I hear, erm, none of you ask. Well, it's a veritable feast of clauses, including some or all of the following: salary, signing on fee, length of term, goal and appearance bonuses, promotion bonuses, demotion pay-cuts, a relocation package, image rights, a sell-on percentage, a deal extension option - and that's before you get into the world of shirt number guarantees, required community service and press/club interviews, translators, and a ban from 'dangerous' past-time activities such as skiing, motorcycling and horse riding. There are four copies of everything, signatures a-go-go, and they take up about 13 hours' worth of work to combine - so excuse me 'girlfriend' (*clicks fingers either side of face*) if I've missed out anything obvious. There's a reason I flunked my contract law option at university."

 

[Alio]

"I've just heard that Arsenal will make a bid for Fulham's Brede Hangeland, before offloading Phillippe Senderos to Hull to replace Michael Turner."

"Guy sat opposite me at work claims to have had a text from his pal who works at Man City and they are apparently lining up a last-ditch bid of £50m Cesc Fabregas."

And this CANT made me laugh :

BBC Sport's roving reporter Sam Lyon: "The life of a football agent isn't easy either during these windows apparently. Barry Silkman, who himself is working on a couple of last-minute transfers, told me: "The problem is that there are possibly 500 working agents around and all of them are trying to do deals that 95% of the time are impossible. It takes longer these days to do a deal than ever before and, on average, I'm up from 6am until 11pm every day during a transfer window trying to things done - and that's on a good day. I've got to earn about £25k a year just to cover my phone bill, I rarely spend consecutive days at home because of the travelling and, basically, you just work and work until you exhaust yourself. I wish someone could tell me who the transfer window benefits - because as far as I can tell it's nonsense for everyone.""

What a whiney little biatch, he has to work hard for a day or 2, I bet he only earns Millions, he got interviewed the other day on Sky, walking around his 50 acres whining about how hard he works for 4 days every year, WEAPON.

Ahh you beat me to the Fabregas one....I love those

 

[Goat]

"I'm a security guard at Highbury House and I just saw Blaise Matuidi enter with an entourage. He's apparently just had a medical and heading upstairs to sign his contract. You heard it here first."

 

[GhostOfDixie]

From Anon, via text on 81111: "Heard that Anderson is leaving Manchester United for Everton for around £7m."
Haha. I like it very much.

 

[AdamTheGreatOneB]

Sky Sports News.

Email from viewer: "I've just seen David James. He's currently in Sunderland for a medical."
SSN Presenter: "No he's not, he's in the car park at Portsmouth's training ground."

 

[Dylan]

From blue_7 on 606: "My uncle who works at John Lennon Airport in Liverpool has just texted me saying he has seen David Trezeguet and his agent hurrying into a cab, probably on the way to Anfield."

 

[TsarDiniyar]

From blue_7 on 606: "My uncle who works at John Lennon Airport in Liverpool has just texted me saying he has seen David Trezeguet and his agent hurrying into a cab, probably on the way to Anfield."

I read somewhere last night on some foolish rumour website about him coming here for £15m

 

[Dylan]

The BBC's site:

1500: DEADLINE DAY COUNTDOWN: ONLY TWO HOURS TO GO, THAT'S WHY I'VE SUDDENLY STARTED SHOUTING

 

[Dylan]

1725: Reuters are absolutely on fire. Check this out: CSKA Sofia have shelved plans to build a squad made up entirely of home-based players after signing three overseas players, including Brazilian striker Michel Platini. That is not a joke.