Ross Barkley

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http://www.supersport.com/football/nigeria-naija/news/140403/Everton_no_go_rush_Barkely

News update on Barkley from Nigerian pidgin media.
This is the single greatest thing i've ever read. Ever.
@chicoazul please all future match threads in this style.
Everton no go rush Barkely
by Andrew Randa 03 April 2014, 04:37

Ross-Barkley-130904-Training-R-300.jpg


Everton still dey play 'I go siddon look' for dia sabi midfielder Ross Barkely as dem no sure weda de guyman go dey fit play doa ogbonge match wit Arsenal for Premier League on Sunday.

De playa bin lif field for haf time afta hin wound and coachi Roberto Martinez say dem go kontinu to dey luk am hope say hin go fit.

De two teams go begin dey nak head take see who go carri de numba four position for EPL so dem go fit tap Champions League football nes seasin.

"De boy strong kakaraka no be small. Hin bin kontinu to play even afta hin wound oh, but we comot am becos e come get as e be," Martinez tell de club website (www.evertonfc.com)

"Hin bodi set well well and hin sabi dey heal sharpily so we dey hope say hin go recova for de match on Sunday.

"We go dey luk for de nes three or four days, na dat time we go know how far."

Barkely, we don grab three caps ( na like dat dem dey call everi match wey you play for kontri be dat) for England dem, be veri impotant playa for England dem and Martinez sef don swear say hin no go rush am come bak like how hin rush am come bak from toe wey hin break las February.

De club dey also take dia time dey luk dia sabi England defenda Phil Jagielka, wey bin miss de lass matches becos of hamstring wahala.

"E dey impotant wit de kain matches wey remain say make we sef luk afta Phil well well make hin jam beta fitness fes.
CRYING HERE. Max rep for finding this
 
"Note: this article is written in Pidgin English for a Nigerian audience" basically simplified english based as far as i can tell on the phonetic sounds of the words.
 

http://www.supersport.com/football/nigeria-naija/news/140403/Everton_no_go_rush_Barkely

News update on Barkley from Nigerian pidgin media.
This is the single greatest thing i've ever read. Ever.
@chicoazul please all future match threads in this style.
Everton no go rush Barkely
by Andrew Randa 03 April 2014, 04:37

Ross-Barkley-130904-Training-R-300.jpg


Everton still dey play 'I go siddon look' for dia sabi midfielder Ross Barkely as dem no sure weda de guyman go dey fit play doa ogbonge match wit Arsenal for Premier League on Sunday.

De playa bin lif field for haf time afta hin wound and coachi Roberto Martinez say dem go kontinu to dey luk am hope say hin go fit.

De two teams go begin dey nak head take see who go carri de numba four position for EPL so dem go fit tap Champions League football nes seasin.

"De boy strong kakaraka no be small. Hin bin kontinu to play even afta hin wound oh, but we comot am becos e come get as e be," Martinez tell de club website (www.evertonfc.com)

"Hin bodi set well well and hin sabi dey heal sharpily so we dey hope say hin go recova for de match on Sunday.

"We go dey luk for de nes three or four days, na dat time we go know how far."

Barkely, we don grab three caps ( na like dat dem dey call everi match wey you play for kontri be dat) for England dem, be veri impotant playa for England dem and Martinez sef don swear say hin no go rush am come bak like how hin rush am come bak from toe wey hin break las February.

De club dey also take dia time dey luk dia sabi England defenda Phil Jagielka, wey bin miss de lass matches becos of hamstring wahala.

"E dey impotant wit de kain matches wey remain say make we sef luk afta Phil well well make hin jam beta fitness fes.

airplane-movie-01.jpg
 
I just realised they misspelt "Barkely" HAHA
"De boy strong kakaraka no be small. Hin bin kontinu to play even afta hin wound oh, but we comot am becos e come get as e be,"
Best bit for me
 

"Barkely, we don grab three caps ( na like dat dem dey call everi match wey you play for kontri be dat) for England dem, be veri impotant playa for England dem and Martinez sef don swear say hin no go rush am come bak like how hin rush am come bak from toe wey hin break las February."

Easily my favourite paragraph
"grab" three caps, and subsequent explanation of caps. brilliant.
Repeated "rush am come back". Amazing.
 

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