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Slightly gross joke

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Dylan

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Staff member
As I can't seem to find the joke thread, here it is.......

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick ".
 
a chinese couple have an albino baby. just goes to show to wongs do make a whight.
 

Shut it you :P

Ok this one's better...

A duck walks into a pub and says "you got any bread?". The bar man says "No we haven't got any bread, what do you think this is some kind of bakery?! Get out!"

So the next day the duck goes back in and says "you got any bread?". The bar man gives a similar response to the previous day.

The next day the duck again goes into the bar and asks "you got any bread?". Now the bar man is angry. He says "NO! We haven't got any bleeding breading, and if you ask that ever again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar. GET OUT!"

The next day the duck goes back in and asks "you got any nails?" The bar man, slightly confused, says "No". "OK" says the duck, "you got any bread?"
 
one ovary says to the other, 'you ordered any furniture?' - 'no, why?' the other ovary replies

"well, some scruffy looking ballbag is trying to get an organ in here"
 
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy T-shirt with holes in it and wearing worn out flip-flops exposing her cracked heels and filthy toenails.

When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The woman stops screaming long enough to say,

"Hell no they ain't!The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins?

Do you really think they look alike?"

"No," replies the greeter, "But I just find it hard to believe that someone had sex with you twice."
 
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