Sol Campbell to Newcastle

[neonleon]

Nothing much changes for Mercenary United. Their song should be a rip on the webuyanycar.com tune.

wepayanywages.com
wepayanywages.com
wepayanywages.com

why attract a player with your club, your manager, your place in footballing history and a pedigree of playing the game well, achieving things and finishing high up the table, when you can offer more wages than anyone else?

Same old Newcastle, it will hopefully have the same unintended hilarious consequences.

Sol, who is 36 on the 18th September (and remember he smokes) has decided, in all intents and purposes to retire in Newcastle. He wants Newcastle to pay him ludicrous wages for a season or two first on the vague promise of playing football for them, but we all know he's gone there for one last pay day. Good lad and good luck spending that money.

Just remember its Newcastle United; don't bother trying too hard, keep your head down, pick up a fat wage check and when they get sent down - well its not your fault is it? You played with champions, world beaters. There's always been problems at Newcastle etc.

 

[HirsuteBlue]

Some sort of record with him being a 'magpie' last season for a time as well.

 

[chicoazul]

Hughton is a sitting duck, when they start getting smashed he won't be hanging around their too long.

A shithouse of a club.

 

[neonleon]

Hughton is a sitting duck, when they start getting smashed he won't be hanging around their too long.

A shithouse of a club.

yeah but they've got some great characters in the dressing room.

Danny Rat "here for the extra wages and the chance of easy first team togger" Gosling

Joey Psycho "how much are you paying me, honestly? I'm still gonna fight with anyone, even with all that money. " Barton

Sol Judas "For those wages I'd resign for Spurs" Campbell

Alan Don't like darkies me "**** Everton, have you seen what the toon have put on the table" Smith

Nicky Ex Manure "Stuff them Man U medals, I'd kill my own granny for what Newcastle are paying me. Really and I don't have to train hard or anything" Butt.

They've also got a defender that cost more than ten million, that's predictably [Poor language removed] (or at least he is now he's playing under the Newcastle Comedy Circus Tent) and looks like a poodle.

I believe he won best of breed at Crufts this year.

The key to get this kind of glossy coat is to feed them lots of marrow bone and a [Poor language removed] load of wages.

 

[chicoazul]

I'm looking forward to seeing who can act the bigger quegs this season, Newcastle or City.

 

[neonleon]

I'm looking forward to seeing who can act the bigger quegs this season, Newcastle or City.

There's not much between them.

Newcastle are always funnier though. Nice to see they've changed the personnel but not the system that produces them in the first place. Same old recruitment policy, same ******s at the club. Same [Poor language removed] on the pitch.

Shame they've got Hughton though, any other manager would deffo send the team straight down. He maybe can keep them up. What we need is a second coming of Geordie messiah Shearer.

Not only could he certainly relegate them, whilst (like all good straight men in a double act) keeping a laughably straight face, but it would have the added benefit of keeping the boring [Poor language removed] off our telly screens.

 

[RFUS]

I'm looking forward to seeing who can act the bigger quegs this season, Newcastle or City.

That's one of the reason's I'm not looking forward to this season. I ******* hate these two teams. That said, if we beat both of them and finish above both of them, then it won't be so bad

 

[chicoazul]

Shearer is an absolute weapon, a great player and a snide get, but a boring shitebag of a man in person.

 

[RFUS]

Shearer is an absolute weapon, a great player and a snide get, but a boring shitebag of a man in person.

I can second this.

Most miserable man I've ever met.

 

[neonleon]

Shearer is an absolute weapon, a great player and a snide get, but a boring shitebag of a man in person.

and on TV.

and the internet.

I bet his texts are boring as well.

 

[chicoazul]

I think the media love in causes resentment from both teams. Definitely the aloof attitude of the fans, trying to condescend other fans when they won absolutely nothing in football all things considered but because they sign some well known players it's the beginning of the glory years. Sport usually likes its champions to be respectful at the top and these two sets of teds are nowhere near champions but showing how horrendous they would be if they were. Luckily, they're tainted with massive shitness. The club, the fans and the players.

 

[neonleon]

I think the media love in causes resentment from both teams. Definitely the aloof attitude of the fans, trying to condescend other fans when they won absolutely nothing in football all things considered but because they sign some well known players it's the beginning of the glory years. Sport usually likes its champions to be respectful at the top and these two sets of teds are nowhere near champions but showing how horrendous they would be if they were. Luckily, they're tainted with massive shitness. The club, the fans and the players.

Still, who could forget the victory parade, the ticker tape, fireworks and open top bus celebration throught the streets of Newcastle all the way to St James Park, when Newcastle finally won the We Signed Michael Owen on Extravagant Wages Cup.

That worked out well didn't it? Gave the deluded muppets something to cheer. Haven't they realised yet, they could sign Barcelona's starting eleven and have Chelsea's starting eleven as back up and they'd still not win anything. NUFC is a knackers home, a place for footballers to retire, pick up handsome wages whilst going through the motions.