Kenyon
Player Valuation: £500k
Well this match had everything I hate about Everton: Ashley Young,
Michael Keene, Derick Calvin Mohamad (that beard isn't fooling anybody, Chubby Face)
Jack Harrison, and Michael Oliver. It had penalty kerfuffles, soft yellows...and oh by
the way, did we really, really buy (rocket upper right corner by D'andie) and borrow all of
these new players and then decide, "You know what, they are worse than the crap we
are trying to use them to replace (rocket upper right hand corner Keane)?
The second half began with Ipswitch playing like Iraqi soldiers trying to surrender to newsmen
and DCL on a proper hat trick of misses, needing only a header over the bar to complete it.
The only drama was that thanks to Everton, that utterly stupid lazy rubbish cliche, "2-0 is the
most dangerous scoreline in football" is actually true and we had to sit for 45 minutes of anguish
lest we actually make manifest said cliche yet again.
Well, we didn't, but DCL did get his proper hat trick with a spectacular header that rather than
going over the bar squirted off to the right like a cartoon hot dog flying out of the bun.
Well done, stars, see you all in the starting lineup yet again just in time to turn into
Halloween pumpkins. Worst. Win. Ever. Oh, and Pickford, STOP MAKING OPERA FACES.
Michael Keene, Derick Calvin Mohamad (that beard isn't fooling anybody, Chubby Face)
Jack Harrison, and Michael Oliver. It had penalty kerfuffles, soft yellows...and oh by
the way, did we really, really buy (rocket upper right corner by D'andie) and borrow all of
these new players and then decide, "You know what, they are worse than the crap we
are trying to use them to replace (rocket upper right hand corner Keane)?
The second half began with Ipswitch playing like Iraqi soldiers trying to surrender to newsmen
and DCL on a proper hat trick of misses, needing only a header over the bar to complete it.
The only drama was that thanks to Everton, that utterly stupid lazy rubbish cliche, "2-0 is the
most dangerous scoreline in football" is actually true and we had to sit for 45 minutes of anguish
lest we actually make manifest said cliche yet again.
Well, we didn't, but DCL did get his proper hat trick with a spectacular header that rather than
going over the bar squirted off to the right like a cartoon hot dog flying out of the bun.
Well done, stars, see you all in the starting lineup yet again just in time to turn into
Halloween pumpkins. Worst. Win. Ever. Oh, and Pickford, STOP MAKING OPERA FACES.