'My names Michael, I was born in 1987....I went to watch Liverpool in a EC Final...It changed my life. I was asked by the British Intelegance Services if I could help them out in a matter of state security. They took me to a secret island where I was waited on hand and foot by scantily clad maidens who gave me everything I wanted. While I was hidden away a secret agent, who happens to look exactly like me, spent some time in a Bulgarian prison. His mission was to infiltrate a sinister criminal gang operating inside the prision. They were thought to be planning a crime against our country that would change our way of life forever.
The agents mission was a success. I cannot give any details away as it may compromise my knighthood. He is now back living under cover, our nation is once again safe.'