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If that Steptoe faced Wurzel Gummidge wannabe gets a deal here, then it's time for us to get a mob up with pitchforks and burning torches.

Get the reverse flight to Oslo and enjoy it rs free.

Give their coach driver the post code for Goodison and not the new ground. Bunch of scruffs won't know we've moved.

I knew it would pay off to wear new parts today!

Good stuff. Don't need to log on over the summer now. That's a huge load off my mind.

Well at least let's hope for a red for Chopper Van Djik ... give us something.

As much as I am all for spoiling the rs's big day - Until it's mathematically not possible, the rs can still do a Gerard and slip up so Arsenal for me.

Buy a newer car?

Anyway, just been arrested for being English. Modern Britain innit?

Well don't I feel silly dressed up on armour driving around with my lance sticking out the window looking for dragons.

I don't think that the devil will ditch the church just because of the association with the rs. But he'll probably have to insert a few clauses to protect himself just in case.

Communion cola and a big McEucharist for the Donster.

Mead is going to be a star!

Greenwood's agent: he does have, ..., a reputation so to speak. We're looking for a club that knows how to sweep things under the carpet if you will. RS Legal Team: Aha, understood. We call that option one around here.

Kenny is off to the printshop with some t-shirts so you never know....

Unless the love he gets here is the magic ingredient in keeping him fit and firing, then it's gotta be one helluva cheap deal to bring him back - unfortunately we don't have the luxury of having a squad that can allow an indulgence as buying a player who isn't available half the time even if he...

White or black exhaust fumes?

It's funny because it's true.

Occasionally even the pope says "f@#£ing" between Jesus and Christ.

How many times must we call for Mead? Before the manager takes heed? Gold dust in his boots.