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I would quite simply poo myself

Hey guys. I mentioned I like a lot of chocolate on my biscuit and they sent me here?! Anyway hope you’re all doing well.

Remember being gutted as a kid when Tugboat turned on The Bushwhackers. Never forgave him, until the whole Shockmaster thing and then I just felt arlarse on him.

Day after a gig at the John Smiths Stadium in Huddersfield, I got a boss breakfast at this fancy little golf hotel I was staying at. Standard components, but you could practically taste the Yorkshire accent in the (proper butchers) sausage, and the eggs. The fact I was still steaming from the...

Yeah that's head-wrecking. I just blurted out "sunny side up" because I'd heard it on telly, and I got a proper phlegmy egg.

You’d be surprised how much of a cut he’d be willing to take when he sees a beautiful, (almost) new Toyota parked on his driveway courtesy of his new paymasters.

Top GOT birthday day. Happy flipping birthday to the whole stinking lot of you.

Think he’s been the only bright spark, myself

Absolute peach, that

I’ve hated it a bit less in recent years purely because international footy meant no Everton, but now I don’t despise us quite so much I’m remembering how crap internationals are.

Bit confused as to why it wasn’t given tbh. The ball broke for what would have been a tap-in and the keeper jumped on his knee??

Surely a pen this? Keeper dived on his leg, nowhere near the ball

Oh, alright then. Thanks mate.

Wow. Just clocked the Scotland score. Bit embarrassing for them.

Imagine how boss the boos are gonna sound

Lovely ball by JBC and a nice, clipped cross by Dixon. Nice goal all round.

Everton pulling the “next goal wins” card. That’s the kind of ruthlessness I want to see from our club.

Should retire those two seats in the dugout out of respect.

Yes please.

A succession of footy results ranging from acceptable to actually good has stunned us all into a state of passive acceptance. What we need, and will most assuredly receive, is a good old derby pasting to ensure that froth once more spills from GOT posters’ mouths like Niagara Falls.