Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Spotty]

First things first mate, give yourself a massive pat on the back, as step one is recognising that you need to talk about what’s going on and you’ve done that by coming on here.

Many many people find it easier to be open about their problems within the anonymity of a forum such as this - no one knows you, so there’s no feelings of letting people down or shame.

Moving onto shame and letting people down. Up until very recently, fellas were brought up to “ man up “ and hide their feelings. Thankfully that’s changed now, this thread is testimony to that.

I fully understand how hard it is to admit to your nearest and dearest that you aren’t well, but as others have said, do you think they’d want to help you, if they knew how bad things really were - answer, a big fat yes.

Look at things another way. You’re head can break, same as your leg, you just can’t see inside a broken head. So why should a broken head have any stigma attached to it, it’s an illness / injury same as any other ?

As others have said, you need to go back to your GP if your meds aren’t working and either got the dose upped or changed to another type.

The thing with meds for depression and anxiety, is that it’s not an exact science - what works for me, may not work for you, so it can be a bit hit and miss until they get it right.

Also you need to ask your GP about cognitive behavioural therapy ( CBT ) I know you won’t be able to see anyone face to face at the mo, but I know they’re doing stuff on the likes of Zoom and FaceTime etc.

Talking about things with a trained professional can really really help, as they’ll be able to teach you coping mechanisms and how recognise trigger points and how to avoid or deal with them.

Exercise is also wonderful for both depression and anxiety mate, as it releases natural feel good chemicals into your body.

I know you may be feeling like exercise is the last thing you want to do right now, especially with the weather, but try and drag yourself out at least once a day.

I found that completely cutting caffeine out and drinking in extreme moderation helped too mate, as the caffeine really ramped up the anxiety and the hangovers super charged it the following morning - the Irish call it “ the Fear “ which is a brilliant description of the feeling you get the morning after a session.

If you go back through this thread mate, there’s loads of people who came on here who where on their arses and thought things wouldn’t / couldn’t get any better and then slowly with support and help things got better for them.

It’s all about taking little steps mate and you’ve done that by coming on here.

Please keep posting, as there’s so many on here ( as you’ve seen already ) who will support you in anyway they can.

I’ve been struggling massively over the last couple of years with addiction, anxiety and now depression and I don’t really know what to do or say on this thread but I do feel very very low the last few days and I’m not good at ringing Samaritans because I feel a bit ashamed

Some great advice given - COYB25 - and I would like to add that the Samaratins are trained and experienced in dealing with all sorts of people. Regardless. Taking the first step has been done asking for help.. We'll done buddy

 

[COYBL25]

Thank you very much for your post mate, I appreciate it massively. I will try too see what other SSRI’s I can try as the sertraline hasn’t worked for me, I have a diazepam addiction which I started taking for panic attacks, I got diagnosed with PTSD and severe anxiety, and was only supposed to take it for a month, but of course got it illegally and got addicted - stupid mistake. I have stopped gambling as badly, mainly because I’m too skint! And I drink less often, once I have one drink I tend to not be able to stop until I pass out. I’ve put on lots of weight over the last few years I was a boxer but turned into an alcoholic. This thread has already cheered me up today, thank you to everybody who replied, I wish you all the best aswell

I`ve been there mate, I became dependant on Ativan / Lorazepam, due to a GP who kept prescribing them, even though I went and expressed my concerns about becoming dependant on them. I did a cold turkey on them, which was horrendous and I can only liken it to when Ewan McGregor did it in Train Spotting lol

I know from stuff I`ve read, that the charity - Mind.org have done stuff with ex boxers at all levels, maybe worth a look ?

Just keep posting mate and let us all know how you`re getting on, kind of like an online diary, even if you`re feeling crap and on your arse ?

 

[Guru888]

I`ve been there mate, I became dependant on Ativan / Lorazepam, due to a GP who kept prescribing them, even though I went and expressed my concerns about becoming dependant on them. I did a cold turkey on them, which was horrendous and I can only liken it to when Ewan McGregor did it in Train Spotting lol

I know from stuff I`ve read, that the charity - Mind.org have done stuff with ex boxers at all levels, maybe worth a look ?

Just keep posting mate and let us all know how you`re getting on, kind of like an online diary, even if you`re feeling crap and on your arse ?

I tried to cold turkey on the Valium mate and ended up having two seizures, which obviously made my anxiety even worse as I was scared of having a seizure whilst out and couldn’t drive anymore. Thank you again mate for your replies and I will continue to post, I hope you’re all good yourself

 

[Spotty]

Thank you very much for your post mate, I appreciate it massively. I will try too see what other SSRI’s I can try as the sertraline hasn’t worked for me, I have a diazepam addiction which I started taking for panic attacks, I got diagnosed with PTSD and severe anxiety, and was only supposed to take it for a month, but of course got it illegally and got addicted - stupid mistake. I have stopped gambling as badly, mainly because I’m too skint! And I drink less often, once I have one drink I tend to not be able to stop until I pass out. I’ve put on lots of weight over the last few years I was a boxer but turned into an alcoholic. This thread has already cheered me up today, thank you to everybody who replied, I wish you all the best aswell

Guru I suspect you self medicate - alcohol / drugs - to deal with your PTSD. The symptoms anxiety etc will not go away until you have addressed the reasons behind the PTSD. I hope you have been able to get some therapeutic intervention for your issues. The trauma you have experienced will not go away or are " easily" forgotten. What can happen however, is to find the most beneficial non harmful - drugs and alcohol - way of living with and accepting your trauma. If you don't do this buddy I suggest your way of coping - self medicating - will / are in themselves causing you a whole lot of issues in themselves. You don't know or realise how strong you are, having to deal with anxiety and depression and trauma on a daily basis.

Please don't say you can't cope because you already are. I so admire people like you.

 

[Guru888]

Guru I suspect you self medicate - alcohol / drugs - to deal with your PTSD. The symptoms anxiety etc will not go away until you have addressed the reasons behind the PTSD. I hope you have been able to get some therapeutic intervention for your issues. The trauma you have experienced will not go away or are " easily" forgotten. What can happen however, is to find the most beneficial non harmful - drugs and alcohol - way of living with and accepting your trauma. If you don't do this buddy I suggest your way of coping - self medicating - will / are in themselves causing you a whole lot of issues in themselves. You don't know or realise how strong you are, having to deal with anxiety and depression and trauma on a daily basis.

Please don't say you can't cope because you already are. I so admire people like you.

Thank you very much mate I appreciate your post massively, I can assure you there is nothing to admire about me though pal, I’m only here because I’m too scared to end it! All the best and thanks again for your words

 

[wandyr79]

Big Nev has got a book coming out on mental health, great interview

Neville Southall now devotes his time to helping people under siege

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW BY IAN HERBERT: Neville Southall did not know, when he reached a brutal and heartbreaking end of the road in football, that the sport would point him to a new one.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Not sure if anybody has posted about this but reading Big Nev's book at the moment. Really good honest read.

Absolute legend on the pitch and an even bigger legend off it. Listened to an interview he did on a 90's football podcast (Quickly Kevin, will he score) and it was inspirational to hear his outlook on life and his career.

If you are on Twitter I would get onto him, if you are having problems. Sounds like he has a massive network and a way of working Twitter to it's absolute potential in a 100% positive way.

 

[Spotty]

Sometimes though mate its easy in hindsight to say "I could have done this, I should have done that" when in reality we dont know the depths of despair someone might really be at.

We can only help those who ask for help, as that's the first sign that we can hold out a hand and put an arm around a shoulder.

I remember a very very long time ago when I was a young lad and my dad was really going through the mixer. I know he was having a tough time of it but not the level he actually was.

He drove me to school and after it ploughed his car clean into a wall looking to end it all. Stayed with me for years because that last chat I had with him I was like "come on dad, got to be tough and get through this, no time to feel sorry for ourselves".

The single most worst advice I could have ever given obviously. But I was a young boy and though it bothered me for years, once I got to an age of adulthood I realised that all i was doing was doing my best.

Sorry for going off topic anyway mate, and in my rubbish roundabout way of saying things I'm just trying to say that it's okay for people to see if you are ok and that at times like now no one should be feeling guilt, only a great sadness at the loss of a family member who couldn't find a way out for help.

This Macca, 100%. It is ALL about communication. I get very frustrated when people, especially young people, kill themself and loved ones say " I never knew!". It's cruel because sometimes the symptoms negate the person's ability to say " I need help, I want to kill myself". There are signs symptoms and actions that "give away" people and you can tell but it's not foolproof and certainly not universal. I've walked off a Ward talking and laughing with a patient only to come in next morning to find they have killed the self.
What we CAN do is make it OK for someone to talk about their mental health. I've said it lots on here and make no apology for continuing to do so. There are lots of kind caring compassionate people who do care and want to help. Let me disclose something. Three years ago my wife told me she was depressed after my first boy was born. I never knew, I was devastated. I wasn't a psychy nurse at the time but that is not an excuse. My wife needed help and I wasn't there for her. She never told me but I was so wrapped up in my own world I couldn't see. I still get chocked up my wife needed me needed my support, and never got it from me. I still think about it A LOT. So make sure it is OK for friends family to feel comfortable that they can talk to you. People "get it" on here and as I say to ALL of the people I work with "you are the expert on your mental health, it's your lived experience". Sorry for another lengthy rant people.

 

[COYBL25]

@Guru888 how are you doing today mate ?

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I’ve been following your story on here and that news about your improving your relationship with your daughter has made my day. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to bite your tongue at times but you’re seeing the rewards. Good on you, and good for you, mate.

@David09 Yes I agree. I meant to say that to you as well. It's good to hear.

 

[Guru888]

@Guru888 how are you doing today mate ?

A bit better mate, I haven’t had any drink or Valium and I’ve done a bit of exercise in the house, thanks for asking mate

 

[YoboCopter]

A bit better mate, I haven’t had any drink or Valium and I’ve done a bit of exercise in the house, thanks for asking mate

Postive steps them mate, just been catching up, your doing great already..

its abit harder atm with the weather and lockdowns but its still do able and your gunna do it

 

[COYBL25]

A bit better mate, I haven’t had any drink or Valium and I’ve done a bit of exercise in the house, thanks for asking mate

All positives things there mate

 

[Guru888]

Postive steps them mate, just been catching up, your doing great already..

its abit harder atm with the weather and lockdowns but its still do able and your gunna do it

Thanks a lot mate

 

[dave n]

Thank you very much mate I appreciate your post massively, I can assure you there is nothing to admire about me though pal, I’m only here because I’m too scared to end it! All the best and thanks again for your words

I've been as low as your feeling now mate but for totally different reasons. I've thought a lot and planned suicides and come extremely close at one point to ending it and like you I put it down to a lack of balls.
But I'm still fighting and I didn't step in front of that train or drive to the Humber Bridge on another occasion. Not wanting to absolutely destroy my daughter's life is keeping me going.
You can get through this. I've cut down my alcohol and been for lots of walks and runs. I've also blocked out the one toxic person who continues to try and destroy me.
Your a boxer. I would never be able to step into a ring and fight. Get yourself back in the gym when your allowed. You need something to get your teeth into. Boxing, running or anything.
You will have set backs like I did at Christmas where I buried my head in my bed for a week but I'm ok now I'm back at work and busy.
Keep posting mate. I'll be following your progress.

 

[Whiteandblue]

A bit better mate, I haven’t had any drink or Valium and I’ve done a bit of exercise in the house, thanks for asking mate

Hang in there buddy, even though not many have posted here many follow this thread and Im sure are happy of your first steps to recovery, myself included. So many of us have received help and support here, this place is a gem.
All the best and many greets from a cold and wintery Finland!