Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[messymascot]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

That must be the absolute worst thing. Just do it in your own time. If you can get some sleep try although I imagine it will be very difficult. If you don't feel like you can tell everyone just tell the most important people and hopefully some of them will help you get others told. However do not feel pressure to do it right away you have some time.

 

[Nymzee]

I hate myself for what other people are going through ................. and I just feel a need to talk. JUST read through the last couple of pages................. and I LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxx My need to talk is a load of bull . xxxxxxx

Nothing is bull mate if it matters to you.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Im so sorry for your loss mate. Thoughts and prayers for you, your wife and your family from all your big blue family, we're all here to support you brother. Stay strong, come home safe we all love you brother if you need help with anything let us know. ? God Bless.

 

[Devanski]

@Barnfred 55.. This was truly hard to read, I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now.
i can only offer my sincere condolences and hope you can stay strong.
Awful, awful thing you have just experienced.
Take care and know that people are here, if you need.

 

[Devanski]

@marnie Yes there are a lot of people going through terrible things and it may make you feel that yours is not on ‘that scale’ but you are important to others and people on here would happily take the time to listen and talk.
You’re feelings matter mate... take care.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Thanks to you all for your kind words. It is appreciated.

It's coming to terms with the reality of it I'm struggling with. I've spoken to her brother which was the hard one. But little things like getting the possessions she was wearing returned, seeing her photo on the bottom of the screen when reading back a statement I'd made, seeing her sun cap on the chair when I went back to our original cabin for more clothes. I just keep on breaking down.

I'll get there though

 

[dublinbluenose]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Jesus mate I'm so sorry you have to through something like that - I couldn't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

Hope you have some support from family and friends. They'll help you through it.

 

[Nymzee]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Sending love your way, Fred.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Thanks to you all for your kind words. It is appreciated.

It's coming to terms with the reality of it I'm struggling with. I've spoken to her brother which was the hard one. But little things like getting the possessions she was wearing returned, seeing her photo on the bottom of the screen when reading back a statement I'd made, seeing her sun cap on the chair when I went back to our original cabin for more clothes. I just keep on breaking down.

I'll get there though

You will get there brother but not now. Youve just lost a great love and so has she. Try to stay strong - but mourn her, talk to her - cry and let it out - deal with your feelings first before you've to deal with anything else. She'll be missing you too and watching over you - she'll help you find the strength. Its fine to breakdown and cry she was obviously loved greatly. ? God Bless.

 

[Jacob]

Deepest condolences to you.... God give you strength. Youre in shock at the moment with the devastating circumstances of your loss. The crew will support and advise you... they are trained and experienced in such tragedy. Dont worry about telling people... your family back home will do that so you can deal with things as best you can. I dont know where you are but the nearest British Consulate will assist you too. Try and look after yourself...were all here for you 24/7.

 

[Master Chief]

To be honest I couldn't even face dating yet (apart of me is in denial over it all and hoping it works out but it won't) I wouldn't rush into any thing to be fair, emotions are too high (well for me anyway)

I've started back work this week which is getting me out the house but struggling to concentrate for long and It's near where we lived and I've seen her twice which has left me teary eyed.

Yeh a gym will do you good for sure, I'm yet to join as my knees playing up too much.

Today's been really hard had a proper meltdown for a few hours then I've started texting her which made it worse.

What dog have you got they are brilliant for releasing stress through walks. Im going for walks at the moment but I find them alittle boring without my dog. She's kept 'our' dog which is hard to take as it meant alot to me.

One of my main problems at the moment I'd holding it together, living mwith my parents I'm basically living in my bedroom as I don't want to see me upset, then even at work I'm having to go sit in my van for a while to straighten my head out. I feel for you having to work from home, I'd recommend having a walk on your breaks

Hey mate, honestly I'd been massively in denial for weeks, maybe even longer regarding our situation. Even after being told by her countless times she didn't love me anymore I just couldn't accept it and kept pushing on as if it wasn't happening with my head in the sand. Like making small talk or asking if she wanted to go do this and that. It didn't help that it was our anniversary the other day and I'd already spent a little fortune and had booked us a restaurant and that for the evening. I just kept hoping she'd change her mind but it didn't happen.

I think seeing her pack up a few suitcases of her stuff the other day helped snap me out of it.

I know you want to put on a brave face for your parents, but telling mine about my situation has helped me so much. Just having someone to vent to in person, and the advice I've gotten from them has helped me so much. Plus they let me know that anyone who loves me/cares for me wouldn't treat me like she has been doing so that helped me realize I deserve better than what she's giving me.

I have a 'borador', she's a cross between a Labrador and a Border Collie. She's absolutely mental but has really helped me feel not so lonely. I take her to parks all across the city with a frisbee for her to chase, you're welcome to join mate and have a play with her and chat shi about the blues.

Sorry to hear mate - give it time things will pick up... is the relationship done for good or is there a way to patch things up?

Hey FB, it's completely done for now mate. I had been trying to patch it up for weeks but she has made it clear every day she is completely out of the relationship. I've begun the process of actually accepting it now and moving on from her.

Bloody hell mate your braver than me organising a date. Good on you though for trying to move forward. Even after 3 years I don't fancy dating.
I wish I had kept my house and mortgage though. I hate the fact I had a house / mortgage for 12 years and now I have to start again with nothing.

Cheers David, I feel lucky it's fell on my lap though. I had a crush on her since I was like 14 and I'm nearly 30 now! If it was anyone else I wouldn't in such a rush to meet up with her but she's been nice texting with the last few days so it's really helped me get through this.

Sorry for what you had to go through mate, I hope you're doing better now though and getting with with starting fresh.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Jesus mate im so sorry to hear that. If you need a chat in private feel free to send me a message anytime mate.

Keep well x

 

[1874]

Jesus Christ. I imagine you’re still in shock. Not much to say apart from take care . God bless ya x

 

[Spotty]

I s

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

I so want to say to you " go to page 56 of the what to do when a loved one dies manual " but I can't. It is so deeply personal and painfull for you. The most practical advice I can give you is have someone close by / within easy reaching distance you can talk to. Someone just to talk about everything because you will have so much support but feel so alone. People want to support and care for you so try to let them in if you can. As has been said if you can't let them in, they will understand. I hope any faith you have gives you comfort. I don't know your beliefs are barny, but my nan used to say something that has always stuck with me " Jesus only gives the cross to those who can carry it " . Take care my friend and remember you are not alone.

 

[Spotty]

I hate myself for what other people are going through ................. and I just feel a need to talk. JUST read through the last couple of pages................. and I LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxx My need to talk is a load of bull . xxxxxxx

Marnie your wrong. If you've something to talk about, have an issue, please talk to someone and yes, put it out there for discussion on here. We may not always have the answers but we'll listen buddy.