Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[nsno-chris]

Just read this thread, @Barnfred 55 I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even comprehend what you’re going through. Stay strong, my thoughts are with you

 

[Toast]

The company have been fine on the whole. They have a care team who sort things out for you. I have to stay in Southampton for a couple of days to deal with coroner and funeral directors etc and the team sorted out hotel, extended car parking, FDs, and started ball rolling with the insurance.

We're back in port today and they let me have a cabin until I can check into my hotel and have arranged taxi to take me there.

There's not much in the way of counselling but I'm in touch with friends and family plus you guys.

There's just the little matter of a £2k plus bill for trying to resuscitate my wife which has been added to the room bill. I know the insurance will cover it but it's the thought of profiteering from the situation that rankles.

Whilst writing this post I just had a call on my wife's phone from the parking people asking why we haven't collected the car. Now that could be a breakdown at their end so I'm not blaming the care team just yet. I'll wait until they phone me

Mate.
I live in Southampton.
ANY help I can offer you, and I mean ANY, just ask.
Even just a bevvie and a chat ?
My lad could pick you up etc.

 

[Zezti]

My masters dissertation is due on Tuesday and I'm a good 8000 words short. I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm just not capable of doing it. The stress and anxiety is utterly crushing. I've felt nothing like this before and I'm struggling to deal with it. I'm pacing around, my heart is pounding and just can't keep still. My family have tried to motivate and encourage me but I'm at a total loss. The minimum word count is 13,500 and I'm doubtful I can even get close to 10,000. I simply don't know what I'm doing. I've already received the maximum allowable extension.
I absolutely hate this. Every second of it. I'm angry, sad, all the feelings.
The thing is, I know whatever I submit will fail. I've failed every step of this project - the topic just doesn't have the potential. The anxiety is worse knowing I'm gonna receive that fail. I'm autistic and during my undergrad I had a tutor that helped me schedule and deal with big work loads but I guess because of the pandemic there's been none of that kind of support. Thinking about making a complaint, too.

 

[BlueTX]

My masters dissertation is due on Tuesday and I'm a good 8000 words short. I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm just not capable of doing it. The stress and anxiety is utterly crushing. I've felt nothing like this before and I'm struggling to deal with it. I'm pacing around, my heart is pounding and just can't keep still. My family have tried to motivate and encourage me but I'm at a total loss. The minimum word count is 13,500 and I'm doubtful I can even get close to 10,000. I simply don't know what I'm doing. I've already received the maximum allowable extension.
I absolutely hate this. Every second of it. I'm angry, sad, all the feelings.
The thing is, I know whatever I submit will fail. I've failed every step of this project - the topic just doesn't have the potential. The anxiety is worse knowing I'm gonna receive that fail. I'm autistic and during my undergrad I had a tutor that helped me schedule and deal with big work loads but I guess because of the pandemic there's been none of that kind of support. Thinking about making a complaint, too.

My eldest lad is autistic. It has always helped me as much as him when I remind him we all fail every day. It's a miserable thing but truly it is how we learn our limitations and our strengths. If you truly are not capable of completing your master's thesis, in a way it may be liberating to know this. Perhaps what you are studying isn't your calling and, again, perhaps this is life telling you to continue seeking out what you are meant to do. Rather than a crushing thing, might it be freeing?

Good on you for reaching out. It's one of the most difficult things for my lad to do. Keep at it however you best see fit. This is clearly a difficult time but never, ever give up on yourself. You are important.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Mate.
I live in Southampton.
ANY help I can offer you, and I mean ANY, just ask.
Even just a bevvie and a chat ?
My lad could pick you up etc.

Cheers mate. Thanks for the offer and the PM. It really is much appreciated and I would probably have taken you up on your offer. As it is,by chance, one of my friends from Cornwall dropped off his boat at Southampton marina for the winter. He's going to pick up my car today pick me up then we'll spend the day on his boat. He's then going to hang around and take me home to Cornwall when I'm finished here. It's a weight off my mind when I have so much else going on in there

Thanks to everybody else for the kind words. They really help guys

 

[Gwladysover]

My masters dissertation is due on Tuesday and I'm a good 8000 words short. I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm just not capable of doing it. The stress and anxiety is utterly crushing. I've felt nothing like this before and I'm struggling to deal with it. I'm pacing around, my heart is pounding and just can't keep still. My family have tried to motivate and encourage me but I'm at a total loss. The minimum word count is 13,500 and I'm doubtful I can even get close to 10,000. I simply don't know what I'm doing. I've already received the maximum allowable extension.
I absolutely hate this. Every second of it. I'm angry, sad, all the feelings.
The thing is, I know whatever I submit will fail. I've failed every step of this project - the topic just doesn't have the potential. The anxiety is worse knowing I'm gonna receive that fail. I'm autistic and during my undergrad I had a tutor that helped me schedule and deal with big work loads but I guess because of the pandemic there's been none of that kind of support. Thinking about making a complaint, too.

Never, ever think that you are a “failure”, you have tried and that is the main thing. As BlueTX has said we all fail every day, that is how we learn. You say you have received no support during your studies so the fact that you have produced what you have whilst struggling is an achievement in itself. Studies are important but not at the cost of your mental health and well-being, so don’t be too hard on yourself. ?

 

[COYBL25]

My masters dissertation is due on Tuesday and I'm a good 8000 words short. I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm just not capable of doing it. The stress and anxiety is utterly crushing. I've felt nothing like this before and I'm struggling to deal with it. I'm pacing around, my heart is pounding and just can't keep still. My family have tried to motivate and encourage me but I'm at a total loss. The minimum word count is 13,500 and I'm doubtful I can even get close to 10,000. I simply don't know what I'm doing. I've already received the maximum allowable extension.
I absolutely hate this. Every second of it. I'm angry, sad, all the feelings.
The thing is, I know whatever I submit will fail. I've failed every step of this project - the topic just doesn't have the potential. The anxiety is worse knowing I'm gonna receive that fail. I'm autistic and during my undergrad I had a tutor that helped me schedule and deal with big work loads but I guess because of the pandemic there's been none of that kind of support. Thinking about making a complaint, too.

I had a mate years ago, who just couldn`t pass the 4th year of his engineering degree, no matter how hard he studied.

It drove him to the point of a nervous breakdown.

After he failed it the second time, he admitted to himself that the stress of it all was making him ill, ruining his life and it wasn`t meant to be.

Prior to his degree, he`d also trained as a painter and decorator, so he went back to that, with the intention of doing it short term, whilst he sorted his head out.

Fast forward many years and he`s a successful painter and decorator, happily married to a girl he met, whilst working on her house and has kids with her.

If he`d never failed those exam, he wouldn`t be living the happy life he has now mate.

I`m not saying this applies to you, but just using it as an example, as to how when one door shuts, sometimes other doors open and all is not lost.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Bloody hell mate I’m so sorry for your loss.

Of course you’re going to be bewildered. There’s no rush to get something like this processed. Deal with it in your own time. Of course this thread is always here if you need to vent, and if you want to tell us a little bit about her and regale us with a tale or two that’d be cool also.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

I hate myself for what other people are going through ................. and I just feel a need to talk. JUST read through the last couple of pages................. and I LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxx My need to talk is a load of bull . xxxxxxx

You’re going through stuff and others are going through their own stuff. There’s never any need to compare or contrast.

If you need to talk on here, talk. There’s enough contributors that nobody’s problems are ever going to go unheard. Please don’t diminish issues that could cause you real harm if you keep them bottled up.

 

[Tommy.]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

Really sorry to hear that mate, had my dad's funeral a couple of days ago so I, like a good few in here no doubt, can totally empathise with you and how much you're suffering. It's utterly heartbreaking watching it happen but I found comfort in the words of fellow blues in this thread, being with family and friends and also just taking some solitude to try to deal with it.

It's a deeply personal thing you're going through, the only advice I can give you is to do what works for you mate.

 

[Tommy.]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

It helped me mate, I'm so sorry for you and your loss.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Oh I'm so sorry. Such an awful thing to happen to you. Much love x

 

[Harryflashman]

Wasn't sure where else to go with this. I'm on a short cruise and my wife has literally just passed away a couple of hours ago in bed alongside me. She's felt poorly last 36 hours but this come straight out of the blue. I feel totally numb.

Watching people perform CPR on a loved one when you know it's too late is despairing. The worst thing I've ever witnessed. She was only 60. The hardest part is going to be telling people and I don't think I'm up to it.

Just been moved to a new cabin but I'm just sitting here crying and bewildered. I'm hoping sharing it with you guys will help in some way

Just seen this so sorry for your loss mate , genuinely don’t know what to say but felt compelled to reply .

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I absolutely love this thread (if thats the right word). Its by far the most important thread on the site.

I've never posted anything personal on it but I think its important now I do for my own sanity.

My Dad has been slowly dealing with bowl cancel for the last few years but we are near the end now. He is 86 and had a great life but its still tough. My Mum is dealing with it by feeding everyone and cleaning everything.

There are so many complications as well. My brother has just split up with his wife and had to move back in with them and had to deal with a marriage breakdown and his dad dying.

Another brother lives abroad and has to try and balance 2 small kids, a job and watch his dad die on WhatsApp.

In the past 2 weeks my Dad has lost his older brother and my Mum her younger sister - talk about timing.

I've been trying to supress my own feelings of depression for a few years as we have young kids but am worried my dads inevitable passing will be a rubicon.

There is a lot more I want to share but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

So sorry about this. Focus on the happy times with your Dad. It will be tough because it's your Dad. Sending love x

 

[dublinbluenose]

Appreciate all your responses and replies.

You're a good bunch of people.