Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Barnfred 55]

No you didn't go off on one bud. I've made some howlers in my life and had no right to cast judgement on him. Just get days when I reflect and think I failed him. I believe in God, was raised a Catholic and believe I will see my loved ones again but I very very much regret what I didn't do. We all make mistakes yes, but that one remains very fresh dispute the years. Still my bad days are sporadic thankfully.

Mate I was going to reply to this post but then saw the post below, which sums up everything I wanted to say and probably a lot more eloquently than i would have done.

Mate you've mentioned this a few times. It must really hurt. Our lives are full of regrets, everyone of us have them and if we could have a do over theres so many things we'd all change. If its any comfort mate you say you weren't there for him, and couldnt give him a kiss or cuddle, I only know you through this site- you've been there for so many people in here in hard times, you dont even support Everton but still you've selflessly found the time to lift up so many people on here and put them back on their feet. I pmed you yesterday and regardless of what you were doing within minutes youd jumped in to help- Your Dad and Mum will be so proud of you. You're an amazing person, your kids have a great dad, your wife has a loving and caring husband. Go easy on yourself brother theres no one whos ever lived who hasnt a regret. ?

I will add one more thing though. It isn't just about the mistakes you make. It's about how you react to those mistakes and whether you learn from them. You clearly have judging by your contribution to this thread.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Same with me. I have been waking up between 4:30-5 and I also have been fortunate about no feeling tired even on the weekends when I go to bed late and I still wake up early

It's probably guilt at all the blackmailing and stalking you're doing

 

[Barnfred 55]

Hi guys, I would like to share a story with you.

Back at the start of August I developed a bit of a limp in the left leg. I had a sore spot at the top of the hamstring.
Thought nothing of it, it will clear in a week or so.
This sore spot started spreading down the back of the thigh and into the knee, it felt bruised and I still didn't worry too much.
Got into September and my leg started swelling massively and I began to really struggle to walk at all and on Sept 8th went to A&E.

This is what my leg looked like on Sept 8th....

View attachment 145591

The circumference around the knee was 4 inches larger than the right knee. Swelling had also started in my calf and was right to the top of my thigh.
They sent me home with pain killers and suggested I 'tweaked a hamstring'.........

I went back to A&E 5 days later in agony and had to insist on a blood test and check for DVT.
This was followed up with a Dopla scan which showed I have a blood clot running down the entire calf from my knee to my ankle.

They put me on a blood thinner called Apixaban and told me it could take up to 6 months of treatment.

I understood that I should start to feel small improvement after 2 or 3 weeks. For 2 or 3 weeks I didn't complain too much, but became almost totally bedridden. The swelling got worse all the way from top of the thigh to my toes. The knee swelling increased by yet another 2 inches.
Through all this I am communicating with my GP and hospital that the medication wasn't working and my leg has got worse, not better.
I went back 4 times over 2 weeks, seeing different doctors each time. Believe me I had to go through pain barriers to get there.
I couldn't stand up, I couldn't sit down and I couldn't lie down.

Gets to October 15th and I insisted they check the size of the blood clot, which they were happy to do so. The result came back that the DVT was safe. So I suggested to the doctor that if the DVT is fine perhaps we should start again and ask the question "What is wrong with my knee?"

She got two other doctors involved from different departments and said if it's what we think it is, we can't treat you here. We are referring your care to North Manchester General.
Saturday morning 16th, they did all my blood tests, xrays and scans in the first 2 hours. Then they stuck a syringe into my knee and drained 5 tubes full of fluid. It was red and yellow in colour. An hour later the specialist said I have sepsis and I would be in theatre in 2 hours! The infection blood count was through the roof and I was advised that amputation was a possibility.

I woke up from the operation and still had both legs. You can not believe the feeling! The surgeon came to see me about 2 hours after the procedure and said that my leg was riddled with sepsis, that they think they have got to it just in time and that it might come back. He told me I would have to stay in hospital for 2-4 weeks on IV AB's.

I have asked several times how can sepsis AND a DVT be missed in diagnosed as a tweaked hamstring. No answers of course.
I am recovering well and as my blood markers came down to safe levels didn't have to stay in hospital that long in the end.
I'm walking with crutches and have some movement in my knee and hope to be back at work in a few weeks.

I can only thank the medical teams at NMGH. They are workings their nads off and can not keep up with the work loads.

My advice to all of you is this: if you start to suffer any unexplained swelling in your legs or arms demand at the point of triage that your blood is tested for blood clot and infection. Insist on it. It could save your life.

Bloody hell mate that's awful. Glad you got sorted eventually.

 

[Barnfred 55]

My missus is a wound care specialist mate and I showed her the photo you posted of your legs, without telling her the rest of the story.

The first thing she said was - DVT and or Sepsis.

The problem as she explains it, is that each consultant, no matter what their field of expertise, have their own little kingdom, where they are god and no one ever dares to question them ( she does, as she has the knowledge and backbone to do it )

In short, they are never wrong, even when it`s proved they are and their colleagues will never ever question or criticise them, in public at least ( even if they have a bad reputation around the hospital ) It`s like an unwritten code of conduct.

This is why you haven`t got any answers and are highly unlikely to get any, unless you make a formal complaint. ( the Patients Charter will explain how to go about this )

I don't even have any medical background but after the first 2 lines of the post I thought we'd be going down the DVT route.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

It's probably guilt at all the blackmailing and stalking you're doing

Can you imagine how guilty I'm going to feel when I demand your payment

 

[David09]

Not posted in a while but am going through a bit of tough time at the moment. Things had been pretty good for a pro-longed period but over the past few months frustration has built up about something and I can't hold it in anymore.

I work in a stable place and most of the people I get on with, it's not a long term thing but it finally seemed a good fit for me to get my head down and just settle for a while whilst I slowly planned out my future. A few months ago however someone joined who sits directly next to me whom I just can't bare. It's a personality clash mostly, I'm a quiet and private sort but he's a talker whom constantly tries to force conversations about anything, even dropping comments about things that make me really want to snap at him for being so arrogant and disrespectful. It doesn't help that he's constantly over-stepping himself, trying to pick and choose the work he does (always trying to avoid one thing but will always try to be the first when it's time to do another thing) and the fact he's always seeking gossip. I've learnt others in the place feel the same but have to deal with him far less so it doesnt affect them as much. They just think he's ignorant/thick but I trust my read of people and to me he acts friendly but is actually very slimey. Even at the end of the days he always wants to walk together but I've shut that right down, i just throw my headphones in and walk on ahead of him or purposely stay behind to make sure he gets the message (I think he has now but bloody hell it took WEEKS of this). Once we're out of the workplace I refuse to stomach him.

Has anyone been through something similar or have any advice? Much appreciated.

Hi Paul. That sounds exactly like a lad who works at the same company as me. People have started to notice he does less work than others. He is also a nosey bugger who wants to offer advise on absolutely everything and a creep towards the bosses.
I'm lucky in that I'm a truck driver so I can get away from him but he kept trying to ring me for a chat on my work phone so I refuse to answer the phone now and he seems to of got the message.
I'm like you in that I'm private and I also don't get involved in work gossip. I don't ignore him and be rude if I see him as I hate conflict but I try to avoid him if possible but also respect him. But others are thinking of leaving shortly if things don't improve. One lad had an interview this week for another job.

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

Hi guys, I would like to share a story with you.

Back at the start of August I developed a bit of a limp in the left leg. I had a sore spot at the top of the hamstring.
Thought nothing of it, it will clear in a week or so.
This sore spot started spreading down the back of the thigh and into the knee, it felt bruised and I still didn't worry too much.
Got into September and my leg started swelling massively and I began to really struggle to walk at all and on Sept 8th went to A&E.

This is what my leg looked like on Sept 8th....

View attachment 145591

The circumference around the knee was 4 inches larger than the right knee. Swelling had also started in my calf and was right to the top of my thigh.
They sent me home with pain killers and suggested I 'tweaked a hamstring'.........

I went back to A&E 5 days later in agony and had to insist on a blood test and check for DVT.
This was followed up with a Dopla scan which showed I have a blood clot running down the entire calf from my knee to my ankle.

They put me on a blood thinner called Apixaban and told me it could take up to 6 months of treatment.

I understood that I should start to feel small improvement after 2 or 3 weeks. For 2 or 3 weeks I didn't complain too much, but became almost totally bedridden. The swelling got worse all the way from top of the thigh to my toes. The knee swelling increased by yet another 2 inches.
Through all this I am communicating with my GP and hospital that the medication wasn't working and my leg has got worse, not better.
I went back 4 times over 2 weeks, seeing different doctors each time. Believe me I had to go through pain barriers to get there.
I couldn't stand up, I couldn't sit down and I couldn't lie down.

Gets to October 15th and I insisted they check the size of the blood clot, which they were happy to do so. The result came back that the DVT was safe. So I suggested to the doctor that if the DVT is fine perhaps we should start again and ask the question "What is wrong with my knee?"

She got two other doctors involved from different departments and said if it's what we think it is, we can't treat you here. We are referring your care to North Manchester General.
Saturday morning 16th, they did all my blood tests, xrays and scans in the first 2 hours. Then they stuck a syringe into my knee and drained 5 tubes full of fluid. It was red and yellow in colour. An hour later the specialist said I have sepsis and I would be in theatre in 2 hours! The infection blood count was through the roof and I was advised that amputation was a possibility.

I woke up from the operation and still had both legs. You can not believe the feeling! The surgeon came to see me about 2 hours after the procedure and said that my leg was riddled with sepsis, that they think they have got to it just in time and that it might come back. He told me I would have to stay in hospital for 2-4 weeks on IV AB's.

I have asked several times how can sepsis AND a DVT be missed in diagnosed as a tweaked hamstring. No answers of course.
I am recovering well and as my blood markers came down to safe levels didn't have to stay in hospital that long in the end.
I'm walking with crutches and have some movement in my knee and hope to be back at work in a few weeks.

I can only thank the medical teams at NMGH. They are workings their nads off and can not keep up with the work loads.

My advice to all of you is this: if you start to suffer any unexplained swelling in your legs or arms demand at the point of triage that your blood is tested for blood clot and infection. Insist on it. It could save your life.

Exact same thing happened to a mate of mine in the Air Force. He took a knock on his calf - then his leg started to swell up real bad.

Sepsis took hold and he developed lots of other infections. They had him in ICU as they were concerned his kidneys were about to fail.

They cut his leg open from ankle to thigh and kept scraping out the dead rotted flesh.

He was in hospital for months and has massive scarring down the entire length of his leg.

Scary stuff

 

[Barnfred 55]

Exact same thing happened to a mate of mine in the Air Force. He took a knock on his calf - then his leg started to swell up real bad.

Sepsis took hold and he developed lots of other infections. They had him in ICU as they were concerned his kidneys were about to fail.

They cut his leg open from ankle to thigh and kept scraping out the dead rotted flesh.

He was in hospital for months and has massive scarring down the entire length of his leg.

Scary stuff

Bloody hell mate that's a bit descriptive ?

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

Bloody hell mate that's a bit descriptive ?

Sorry mate - I only saw pictures of him lying in his hospital bed with this massive open wound right down his leg - and all this stuff oozing out.

Bluuuurgh!

 

[Woolverhampton_Blue]

Not posted in a while but am going through a bit of tough time at the moment. Things had been pretty good for a pro-longed period but over the past few months frustration has built up about something and I can't hold it in anymore.

I work in a stable place and most of the people I get on with, it's not a long term thing but it finally seemed a good fit for me to get my head down and just settle for a while whilst I slowly planned out my future. A few months ago however someone joined who sits directly next to me whom I just can't bare. It's a personality clash mostly, I'm a quiet and private sort but he's a talker whom constantly tries to force conversations about anything, even dropping comments about things that make me really want to snap at him for being so arrogant and disrespectful. It doesn't help that he's constantly over-stepping himself, trying to pick and choose the work he does (always trying to avoid one thing but will always try to be the first when it's time to do another thing) and the fact he's always seeking gossip. I've learnt others in the place feel the same but have to deal with him far less so it doesnt affect them as much. They just think he's ignorant/thick but I trust my read of people and to me he acts friendly but is actually very slimey. Even at the end of the days he always wants to walk together but I've shut that right down, i just throw my headphones in and walk on ahead of him or purposely stay behind to make sure he gets the message (I think he has now but bloody hell it took WEEKS of this). Once we're out of the workplace I refuse to stomach him.

Has anyone been through something similar or have any advice? Much appreciated.

I have a bit of sympathy for the person you describe because I can see things in him (as you describe) that I’m probably guilty of. The thing that’s unforgivable is his work ethic. Can you not raise this with your supervisor or manager?

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Hi Paul. That sounds exactly like a lad who works at the same company as me. People have started to notice he does less work than others. He is also a nosey bugger who wants to offer advise on absolutely everything and a creep towards the bosses.
I'm lucky in that I'm a truck driver so I can get away from him but he kept trying to ring me for a chat on my work phone so I refuse to answer the phone now and he seems to of got the message.
I'm like you in that I'm private and I also don't get involved in work gossip. I don't ignore him and be rude if I see him as I hate conflict but I try to avoid him if possible but also respect him. But others are thinking of leaving shortly if things don't improve. One lad had an interview this week for another job.

Playing hard to get ya little tinker lol

 

[Leylo]

This time last year my head fell off lost both my mum and dad, by god a year has flown had to keep strong for the family because they were looking to me so stepped up on the outside ,wow it was hard come on here which is a bit outside of the box because I'm quite private about things but eh really helpful cheers everyone who may remember especially Joe thanks xxxx doing alright now moaning in the upper glwadys again. Cheers fellow toffees

 

[Bluemersey]

Hi Paul. That sounds exactly like a lad who works at the same company as me. People have started to notice he does less work than others. He is also a nosey bugger who wants to offer advise on absolutely everything and a creep towards the bosses.
I'm lucky in that I'm a truck driver so I can get away from him but he kept trying to ring me for a chat on my work phone so I refuse to answer the phone now and he seems to of got the message.
I'm like you in that I'm private and I also don't get involved in work gossip. I don't ignore him and be rude if I see him as I hate conflict but I try to avoid him if possible but also respect him. But others are thinking of leaving shortly if things don't improve. One lad had an interview this week for another job.

I would have a private chat with your line manager. These things can backfire on you if you don't speak to people who can help you in work. Unfortunately there are genuine creepy people in this world and we meet them in our workplace. I am the type to speak my mind however I've found acting professionally and getting advice from management is a better way to go. The weirdos eventually leave or are sacked. Feel for you, I have a few idiots were I work who are horrible and sly. Just be positive and see if you can move in the workplace.

 

[Bkk Andy]

Ironic, I realize, but having been off GOT for weeks my mental health is way better. Reading toxic and often idiotic comments from the same select few for hours every day really does take its toll. I would seriously advise keeping off the main forum if you're struggling.

 

[WilliamPerry]

Ironic, I realize, but having been off GOT for weeks my mental health is way better. Reading toxic and often idiotic comments from the same select few for hours every day really does take its toll. I would seriously advise keeping off the main forum if you're struggling.

Put them on ignore too .