Habit I suppose.
It was a friendship that turned into something a lot more.
Now it is just manipulation.
Everytime something bad happens, I think of all the good times. That's not to say they're the same person now as they was then.
Well then to be blunt, that is your answer. You want to shake the feeling then get rid of the thing causing the problems.
Just to put it into a massive perspective here. Do you think it is normal to be in a relationship where you are made to feel like that? Is that what you think love is meant to feel like? When will it end? Married? Kids? More ways to trap you in that respect. Then the feeling will get worse and worse as time goes on before you finally get away at 45 and then realise your life has gone past and you did nothing with it.
Like me personally, sometimes i genuinely do have thoughts about what might have been. what if i didn't get with my partner, what about all the things i could have done, or seen the life my friends live and want that instead, what about all the girls i could have got with etc. That will always be a hang up for me, i accept that, but i chose to be there for my son and i chose to stick with my partner through all the bad times, which most people would walk away from because i saw change in her, i saw how much she genuinely loves me, and come the end of the day, if i spend the rest of my life with someone who isn't my perfect hollywood wife but just someone who loves me very much then i can accept that.
Seems like i have gone off point there but i'll explain the point of that story. Does your other half feel like that for you? Do they genuinely love you to that extent or are they just keeping you around for the convenience of it? Because what i know right now is that even if we are arguing, she will be sitting there at 12 o clock at night sewing some keks for me for work the next day. Would your other half hyperthetically do that?
Because genuinely mate, you don't want to ever feel like you have to be with someone because you don't. you say it is manipulative and not the same person as they used to be? then oyu are in a relationship with essentially young love which has developed into what the real person is. You don't like the real person? then don't be with them, as simple as that may be, you are not trapped.
and these feelings you have? would you still feel them if you were lying next to someone who did genuinely make you happy? Holding someone who isn't anything like who you are with now?
Again mate, don't take that as aggressive because it really isn't, just typing what is in my head. But i implore you, don't stay in a relationship that makes you miserable or gives you any feelings like you are going through. Life is too short to be like that. My dad was never there when i was a baby because he chose to walk away from a very complicated situation, and life went on for everyone. Point is, walking away is never the end of the world and especially when you keep in mind there is someone right for you out there just waiting to meet you.