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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

MrD said:
Well my opinion is that in my experience, women do find it easier to move on. It's easier for her (my ex) to find someone new than it will be for me. She is red hot so she can have her pick. I'm the opposite of red hot so i'll be single for ages. I can't even get a swipe right on Tinder FFS! haha.


One upside to her moving on means it's actually made it easier for me. I've seen her in a new light which i don't like so i have leapt forward in my "getting over her" road to recovery. I'll never 100% get over her because you don't get over someone who looks like her but i'll be sound soon. She's done me a favour by being so hateful and vindictive. again, while it was bad it was rock bottom bad, but now i feel a bit better about the split. Not my usual issues i've had for 18 years but her.....i'm almost entering "MEH" stage.

Also as a small update, She asked me why i wasn't spending more time with our little girl. I have her 2 full days a week and a couple of morning after she sleeps over.I told her that was the arrangement but i'm happy to have her 7 days a week if it helps her hehe. She said 50/50 is fine. So i'm going to have the baby more which is hard as i have to feed and entertain her when money is too tight to mention BUT.....i get to be with her more! Smashing!
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Spending quality time with your kids is WAY more important than spending money on them. They'll remember the hours spent with them reading or watching TV and just talking and being silly together more than they will do some £5 comic or pointless toys.
 
heatmeiser said:
Spending quality time with your kids is WAY more important than spending money on them. They'll remember the hours spent with them reading or watching TV and just talking and being silly together more than they will do some £5 comic or pointless toys.
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Yep i agree. Just making her laugh and having a tickle fight is enough to make her day hehe
 

MrD said:
The biggest differnce i've noticed in the two sides of the split is that everyone on my side, family, friends etc have all been supportive, brutally honest but caring and also positive and telling me to look to the future. Everyone on her side have been belittling (of me), hateful, brutal and loads of gossip. I've actually learned a lot about myself over the past couple of months. I hate a lot of what i've learned but i have also found a few good traits i have.

I got a message from one of my best friends the other day asking how i'm doing. I was honest and told her everything and the messages she sent in reply made me cry. It was some of the most loving things anyone has ever said about me. It really did make me feel better about the split. Sometimes people have the power to help by just caring.

@ForeverBlue92 - Tinder isn't going well. I swipe right plenty, i get none in return. sigh!
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Keep trying mate at one point they'll be one swiping left with beer goggles on then you're in! lol

In fairness I never bothered much with online dating as theirs too many good looking/rich fella's to compete with - my advice is get a cute poncy little dog like a Pug and take it for walks to the local park as guaranteed you'll encounter women dog walkers wanting to stop for a chat ;)
 
ForeverBlue92 said:
Keep trying mate at one point they'll be one swiping left with beer goggles on then you're in! lol

In fairness I never bothered much with online dating as theirs too many good looking/rich fella's to compete with - my advice is get a cute poncy little dog like a Pug and take it for walks to the local park as guaranteed you'll encounter women dog walkers wanting to stop for a chat ;)
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I am so so glad I'm too old for this whole online dating thing. I would've been terrible at it. It's like going on job interview after job interview. Soul-crushing.
 

MrD said:
It's a sea of shallow people who sum you up based on one dodgy photo and a few lines of text! I managed to bag my Ex and almost all of my other ex's have been decent so i can't be that bad! :/
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Been single for a while might not be the worst thing in the world mate . Making sure your well your self is important. Starting a new relationship when you maybe struggling yourself is not ideal .
 
MrD said:
It's a sea of shallow people who sum you up based on one dodgy photo and a few lines of text! I managed to bag my Ex and almost all of my other ex's have been decent so i can't be that bad! :/
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Its funny because my two mates are polar opposites - one cant pull a cracker on tinder but the other is always pulling girls on there yet I would say the one who struggles is "better looking" just doesnt have the craic!

I wouldn't let it get you down mate I've always prefered meeting people in person/in a bar I find the chase more exciting than talking online knowing full well they have about 5 other blokes on the go!
 
blue to the bone said:
Been single for a while might not be the worst thing in the world mate . Making sure your well your self is important. Starting a new relationship when you maybe struggling yourself is not ideal .
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I agree. I'm kind of enjoying being on my own path. no one to answer to. It has it's pros and cons. Defo no rush though. The tinder thing is just seeing what's out there really. Doubt i'll hook up with anyone to be honest :)


ForeverBlue92 said:
Its funny because my two mates are polar opposites - one cant pull a cracker on tinder but the other is always pulling girls on there yet I would say the one who struggles is "better looking" just doesnt have the craic!

I wouldn't let it get you down mate I've always prefered meeting people in person/in a bar I find the chase more exciting than talking online knowing full well they have about 5 other blokes on the go!
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Haha, yeah you can tell when they're talking to loads of others. I'm not in a rush anyway. Just kind of keeping my eye in with the ladies of the internet. It'll be ages before i touch another woman anyway. Yeah i do have the comedic charm. I can be a smooth get when i want to be. One day the ugly birds better watch out because i'll be back on the prowl! :D
 
I learned a new term online "ghosting", guess it was from Reddit.

Someone did this to me. She was a good friend of mine that I met online talking about cinema, then we met and became a good friend (no romance, no sex, good old friendship) but her past I guess was complex, her ex, her family problems, but I didn't want to drill too much, because we were respectful to each other. She was visiting me often at home and we were cooking and watching films. Felt good while it lasted.

Then this ghosting part. Suddenly she blocked me from all social media, whatsapp, telegram. And changed her mobile. For no reason I can think of, related to me at least. She was a bit weird, but a good human being at heart. So I am puzzled, not depressed but feeling empty. I just hope people stop ghosting. What good there will be but just wanted to share.
 
[Deleted Member] said:
I learned a new term online "ghosting", guess it was from Reddit.

Someone did this to me. She was a good friend of mine that I met online talking about cinema, then we met and became a good friend (no romance, no sex, good old friendship) but her past I guess was complex, her ex, her family problems, but I didn't want to drill too much, because we were respectful to each other. She was visiting me often at home and we were cooking and watching films. Felt good while it lasted.

Then this ghosting part. Suddenly she blocked me from all social media, whatsapp, telegram. And changed her mobile. For no reason I can think of, related to me at least. She was a bit weird, but a good human being at heart. So I am puzzled, not depressed but feeling empty. I just hope people stop ghosting. What good there will be but just wanted to share.
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Happens to the best of the people. Its just a weird thing our society picked up because people cant say goodbye. Unfortunately alot of people get ghosted because that particular person wasn't over someone special to them whether it was a relationship etc. Dont take it personal at all! Some people are just mean. They dont have the social skills to live like a normal person. Get back on the saddle and keep that head up :)
 

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