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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

To add to the book list that @the golden visionary provided yesterday, here is a list of books that have helped me get on the right track during/after personal/professional issues.

Awaken the Giant Within - Tony Robbins
Principles - Ray Dalio (Business Book)
Your Best Life Now, 7 Steps to Living at your Full Potential - Joel Osteen
No Excuses - Brian Tracy (Self-Discipline)
The One Thing - Gary Keller (Improving your life and career)
Relentless - Tim S. Grover (Mentor/trainer to Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade)
Declutter your Mind - S.J. Scott (Worry/Anxiety/Negative thinking)
Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
 
I always read this thread but thought I would share a few comments. I wanted to share this. I am 42 years of age. I have had a decent life and never struggled with depression. I try and have a positive outcome on most things.
4 years ago my partner told me she didn't want to be with me and I needed to leave our family home and our two young children. It was a shock and I was upset. I tried to offer her all different scenarios to stay. I even booked for us to go to EuroDisney for New year, which as you can imagine was great but expensive. Nothing worked. I had to go and stay with a friend, living out of a bedroom as I didn't want to be a pain to anyone. I never got an explanation after 11 years until I found out she had someone else. Obviously I was annoyed, I sent some message as you can imagine and got blocked. She made me out to be the bad person, so much so that for three months I didn't go out, I beat myself up daily, blaming myself because she had drummed that into me. I ended up seeing a Dr and going to speak a lady at Sefton who told me, which I knew deep down, this wasn't my fault and to bring back the happy go lucky person. I joined some online groups about anxiety and stress and talked to others. What my ex was doing, was using her guilt as reverse phycology to make me believe I was the bad one. This is how many people can fall into the trap of mental health. She tried to take everything away, blame me and wreck me.
With the help of the group and my parents, I rebuilt. 4 years on - as stated at age 42 - I have just bought a house, had a daughter with my partner of 2 years and we are very happy together. My other two daughters come round 3 times a week and we go on holidays together.
My ex.....… well her bloke finished with her in the summer. She drinks a lot according to my eldest daughter and she always looks at what I'm doing on social media.
Don't ever blame yourself people and remember, there is always someone to talk too however hard things could be.
 
Gaffa said:
I always read this thread but thought I would share a few comments. I wanted to share this. I am 42 years of age. I have had a decent life and never struggled with depression. I try and have a positive outcome on most things.
4 years ago my partner told me she didn't want to be with me and I needed to leave our family home and our two young children. It was a shock and I was upset. I tried to offer her all different scenarios to stay. I even booked for us to go to EuroDisney for New year, which as you can imagine was great but expensive. Nothing worked. I had to go and stay with a friend, living out of a bedroom as I didn't want to be a pain to anyone. I never got an explanation after 11 years until I found out she had someone else. Obviously I was annoyed, I sent some message as you can imagine and got blocked. She made me out to be the bad person, so much so that for three months I didn't go out, I beat myself up daily, blaming myself because she had drummed that into me. I ended up seeing a Dr and going to speak a lady at Sefton who told me, which I knew deep down, this wasn't my fault and to bring back the happy go lucky person. I joined some online groups about anxiety and stress and talked to others. What my ex was doing, was using her guilt as reverse phycology to make me believe I was the bad one. This is how many people can fall into the trap of mental health. She tried to take everything away, blame me and wreck me.
With the help of the group and my parents, I rebuilt. 4 years on - as stated at age 42 - I have just bought a house, had a daughter with my partner of 2 years and we are very happy together. My other two daughters come round 3 times a week and we go on holidays together.
My ex.....… well her bloke finished with her in the summer. She drinks a lot according to my eldest daughter and she always looks at what I'm doing on social media.
Don't ever blame yourself people and remember, there is always someone to talk too however hard things could be.
Click to expand...
Sounds a painful experience but with a positive attitude you came up smelling of roses there mate. Always worth keeping your chin up.
 
Been a tough few weeks. Out of a job and about to lose my girlfriend right before Christmas.

Left my job by mutual agreement with a small pay off so financially things aren’t too bad yet, but really need to find something soon.

My girlfriend has gotten tired of being let down and wants to call things a day. It used to be my drinking that caused the problems. Started going to AA and it’s slowly but surely helping. However losing my job has really put a bit of a cloud over me (I already suffer from depression) and I think she’s really found this hard. She’s been very supportive throughout our relationship but I think she’s lost patience / hope that things will improve. Going round to exchange items etc tomorrow evening.

If there was ever a time for Everton to win at the pit it’s tonight, I could really use a lift haha!
 
Woolverhampton_Blue said:
Been a tough few weeks. Out of a job and about to lose my girlfriend right before Christmas.

Left my job by mutual agreement with a small pay off so financially things aren’t too bad yet, but really need to find something soon.

My girlfriend has gotten tired of being let down and wants to call things a day. It used to be my drinking that caused the problems. Started going to AA and it’s slowly but surely helping. However losing my job has really put a bit of a cloud over me (I already suffer from depression) and I think she’s really found this hard. She’s been very supportive throughout our relationship but I think she’s lost patience / hope that things will improve. Going round to exchange items etc tomorrow evening.

If there was ever a time for Everton to win at the pit it’s tonight, I could really use a lift haha!
Click to expand...

Rough going mate, sorry to hear.

We can hope & pray for the result tonight but what I will say is that if we do get beat don’t let it add to any negative feelings you’re currently holding - it’s just a football match at the end of the day.
 

Gaffa said:
I always read this thread but thought I would share a few comments. I wanted to share this. I am 42 years of age. I have had a decent life and never struggled with depression. I try and have a positive outcome on most things.
4 years ago my partner told me she didn't want to be with me and I needed to leave our family home and our two young children. It was a shock and I was upset. I tried to offer her all different scenarios to stay. I even booked for us to go to EuroDisney for New year, which as you can imagine was great but expensive. Nothing worked. I had to go and stay with a friend, living out of a bedroom as I didn't want to be a pain to anyone. I never got an explanation after 11 years until I found out she had someone else. Obviously I was annoyed, I sent some message as you can imagine and got blocked. She made me out to be the bad person, so much so that for three months I didn't go out, I beat myself up daily, blaming myself because she had drummed that into me. I ended up seeing a Dr and going to speak a lady at Sefton who told me, which I knew deep down, this wasn't my fault and to bring back the happy go lucky person. I joined some online groups about anxiety and stress and talked to others. What my ex was doing, was using her guilt as reverse phycology to make me believe I was the bad one. This is how many people can fall into the trap of mental health. She tried to take everything away, blame me and wreck me.
With the help of the group and my parents, I rebuilt. 4 years on - as stated at age 42 - I have just bought a house, had a daughter with my partner of 2 years and we are very happy together. My other two daughters come round 3 times a week and we go on holidays together.
My ex.....… well her bloke finished with her in the summer. She drinks a lot according to my eldest daughter and she always looks at what I'm doing on social media.
Don't ever blame yourself people and remember, there is always someone to talk too however hard things could be.
Click to expand...
Bloody hell mate well done for getting your life back on track. I'm going through the same type of thing with my ex wife. Its been 18 months now since she started trying to destroy me after her affair.
She has very nearly achieved it too but just reading your message has given me slight hope.
I've lived in my car and allsorts of crap just like you.
Honestly mate congratulations on getting your life back. Its such z struggle
 
I never really talk about my depression, but here goes. I've been off work for 3 weeks, I like my job but when I'm like this I cannot face the "performance" of being a normal human being. I'm a lecturer and I like my job. I've spent 35 years since I was 15 with this condition and although it comes in fits and spurts, I am very sick of it. Nothing seems to ever change. I have a psychiatrist appointment next week and I am holding out so much hope with that but these meetings haven't really helped in the past. Not sure why I'm I'm posting this and I'm not sure what I expect in response.
 
TrachyBlue said:
I never really talk about my depression, but here goes. I've been off work for 3 weeks, I like my job but when I'm like this I cannot face the "performance" of being a normal human being. I'm a lecturer and I like my job. I've spent 35 years since I was 15 with this condition and although it comes in fits and spurts, I am very sick of it. Nothing seems to ever change. I have a psychiatrist appointment next week and I am holding out so much hope with that but these meetings haven't really helped in the past. Not sure why I'm I'm posting this and I'm not sure what I expect in response.
Click to expand...

I suppose everyone is kind of performing their role. Life is weird, no one really understands it. It helps to not think about this weird aspect too much, then the performing comes more naturally. Easier said than done, of course.

Good luck, Trachy :cheers:
 

TrachyBlue said:
I never really talk about my depression, but here goes. I've been off work for 3 weeks, I like my job but when I'm like this I cannot face the "performance" of being a normal human being. I'm a lecturer and I like my job. I've spent 35 years since I was 15 with this condition and although it comes in fits and spurts, I am very sick of it. Nothing seems to ever change. I have a psychiatrist appointment next week and I am holding out so much hope with that but these meetings haven't really helped in the past. Not sure why I'm I'm posting this and I'm not sure what I expect in response.
Click to expand...

I think most of us here have been in similar situations, so we understand what you are going through. We are all here to help each other.

If some treatments aren't working, try something new such as meditation, mindfulness, reiki, animal therapy, etc. Sometimes it can take a while to find something that works for you and they are coming up with new treatments all of the time.
 
TrachyBlue said:
I never really talk about my depression, but here goes. I've been off work for 3 weeks, I like my job but when I'm like this I cannot face the "performance" of being a normal human being. I'm a lecturer and I like my job. I've spent 35 years since I was 15 with this condition and although it comes in fits and spurts, I am very sick of it. Nothing seems to ever change. I have a psychiatrist appointment next week and I am holding out so much hope with that but these meetings haven't really helped in the past. Not sure why I'm I'm posting this and I'm not sure what I expect in response.
Click to expand...

Fair play for acting on it mate. I'm jumping the gun a little, but it seems like you know a psychiatry visit can only go so far. Maybe it's time you go further.
 
I hope this is not inappropriate, but those reading this who were around 30 - 40 years ago, was depression a prevalent thing back in those days?
 
Hibbo said:
I hope this is not inappropriate, but those reading this who were around 30 - 40 years ago, was depression a prevalent thing back in those days?
Click to expand...

Yes. It just wasn't understood and people didn't feel able to be open about it.

Now life seems to move quicker and have more pressure than it did even 10 years ago and I think a lot of people feel displaced or cut adrift just trying to stand still. One of the upsides of technology is people can find others going through the same things a lot more easily.
 

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