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Dmitri Payet's ankle: an obituary.

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chicoazul said:
No one has ever depicted me kindly on here you swine.
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cryarse bish
wtdabp.gif
 
chicoazul said:
It was with sincere sadness that we learned of the passing of Dmitri’s ankle on Monday afternoon, this wonderful gift to the world took away from us in an act of savagery that rightfully earned the perpetrator a yellow card life sentence.

We first encountered the fine ankle on the first day of the season away to Arsenal. Even though the ankle had existed for 28 years before that we were not aware that the Premier League great existed until West Ham agreed to pay an extortionate amount to play on these green shores. Some may call it destiny, others may call it £21.4 million in wages over six years.

The ankle weaved and danced creating great delight amongst West Ham fans as such sages as Lineker and Shearer poured praise on the talent of the ankle as it personally took the scalps of the mighty 82nd minute leavers at Anfield, and also Chelsea, Arsenal and Man City. An ankle so powerful and talented that it’s followers were celebrating being the first recorded Champions League qualifiers by early November.

Alas at the zenith of their powers are such heroes slain. The ankle’s executioner wore white and the numbers 1 and 6 on his back. In one foul slide he won the ball, and a contestable yellow card with it. But alas Dimitri Payet’s ankle was no more, confined to the memory banks of those honoured to witness it. If only Dimitri had heard of those Sondico shinnies from the nineties with ankle protectors so sturdy that could stop a hurtling meteorite. If only the brutish McCarthy had made a robust challenge that resulted in an unfortunate three month injury lay off. If only it was the type of injury that made Evertonians sad to see caused by one of our own until West Ham fans went into a full kopite witch hunt meltdown.

Dimitri’s ankle leaves behind a loving leg and foot, the condolences of all at St Domingo’s parish are with them during these testing times as they stare into the abyss of mid table.

RIP Dmitri Payet’s ankle – 8th August 2015 to 8th November 2015.
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God I wish I could give rep for this
 

chicoazul said:
It was with sincere sadness that we learned of the passing of Dmitri’s ankle on Monday afternoon, this wonderful gift to the world took away from us in an act of savagery that rightfully earned the perpetrator a yellow card life sentence.

We first encountered the fine ankle on the first day of the season away to Arsenal. Even though the ankle had existed for 28 years before that we were not aware that the Premier League great existed until West Ham agreed to pay an extortionate amount to play on these green shores. Some may call it destiny, others may call it £21.4 million in wages over six years.

The ankle weaved and danced creating great delight amongst West Ham fans as such sages as Lineker and Shearer poured praise on the talent of the ankle as it personally took the scalps of the mighty 82nd minute leavers at Anfield, and also Chelsea, Arsenal and Man City. An ankle so powerful and talented that it’s followers were celebrating being the first recorded Champions League qualifiers by early November.

Alas at the zenith of their powers are such heroes slain. The ankle’s executioner wore white and the numbers 1 and 6 on his back. In one foul slide he won the ball, and a contestable yellow card with it. But alas Dimitri Payet’s ankle was no more, confined to the memory banks of those honoured to witness it. If only Dimitri had heard of those Sondico shinnies from the nineties with ankle protectors so sturdy that could stop a hurtling meteorite. If only the brutish McCarthy had made a robust challenge that resulted in an unfortunate three month injury lay off. If only it was the type of injury that made Evertonians sad to see caused by one of our own until West Ham fans went into a full kopite witch hunt meltdown.

Dimitri’s ankle leaves behind a loving leg and foot, the condolences of all at St Domingo’s parish are with them during these testing times as they stare into the abyss of mid table.

RIP Dmitri Payet’s ankle – 8th August 2015 to 8th November 2015.
Click to expand...


And the touch paper is lit anew....
 


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