bluemangroup
Player Valuation: £70m
"I started off my day by heading up to airport, the drive was nice and I thought I could hear the birds singing. Half a gram of beak and two of my mates testicles later, I was ready.I can't wait for the European edition of 'My Football Diary'
Tales of taking a piss in a foreign urinal and being forced at gun point to suck off a russian. It's going to be beautiful Mick.
We checked in, but my bag was too heavy and I wasn't going to pay extra. So I wore some extra clothes on top of what I was wearing. We boarded the flight to Kansgurpor or whatever and settled in for a long flight.
I had just finished watching the end of Dora the Explorer on my in flight entertainment system. Felt a bit disappointed, the monkey wasn't reunited with his banana. I heard a thump in the side of the plane and he oxygen masks fell from their individual compartments. I attached mine and then set about fixing all of the children's around me. The plane nose dived and we plummeted to the earth. As we fell, I felt strangely calm, although I was slightly irritated that I couldn't find a word that rhymed with smithereens for my epic rap ballad about this incident."