Come and listen to my story about a man named Red
A poor mamma's boy, barely kept his family fed,
And then one day he was playing with a slab
And down on the ground was a babbling lad .
Bulgarian that is, poor sod, not his fault..
Well the first thing you know ol Red's had up in court
The kinfolk said "No!! he was in his bed"
Said "It wa'nt him, twas that lad from Che-el-sea"
So they loaded up their guns and they waited for Ci-it-y"
Coach, that is. Sterling, Stones, other stars.
Outro
Well now it's time to say good bye to Red and all his kin.
And did you like them fireworks for kindly droppin in.
You're all invited back next year to this locality
To have a heapin helpin of Reds**** hospitality
Chelsea that is. Sh*t as well, Throw your shoes too..
We're all scum back here, y'know?