Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
And the Nobel Prize for 'taking the piss out of the opposition' goes to....Obertan - put a hen on his head for more than seven hours and it will hatch, and a load of smaller awful footballers who are fast but without any sort of touch or intelligence will run out of his skull.
Absolutely brilliant.
We're going to totally beast these. Get ready to see Niasse in the stands laughing his cock off as we score the 6th.