Five Minute Match Report (Five Minutes Being How Long it Will be Up)

Kenyon

Player Valuation: £225k
Can love, once lost, fire up again? Can a manager, once dead, come back to life before
being killed off for good? Are Dwight McNeil and DCL cutting each others' hair? If so, why won't McNeil
share goal scoring tips with him? DCL was Palace's talisman today, killing off chances
each time he got the ball anywhere near their keeper today

Everton began like they were just going to loiter until the final whistle and hope for the best,
but when Palace got a corner, Everton reacted to the ball like snuffle bears, snuggling with
it until it bounced safely into their own net.

Dyche must have found a fifth of Jack at halftime, because he made a substitution. He must
have drank far too much though, because he took off the ineffectual Swede and brought on
the ineffective Harrison

Well even a blind drunk driver makes it home once in a while and Harrison willed the ball into
McNeil's path where he cooly slashed the corner net from just outside of Lancashire. An
apologetic Everton tried to give it back with the cuddles defence again, but the ball actually
bounced away from their open net rather than into it and awhile later McNeil cooly took down
a bobbly lob from a side angle, waited patiently for it to hit the pitch and come up to boot
level before knocking it past the enthralled Palace keeper.

Dyche then made a sane sub bringing on fresh legs to seal off the match and The ref gingerly added 4 minutes
which Pickford ate up for just the cost of a yellow card

In the post match presser, Gravely Sam rubbed a couple ball bearings together while stammering about
marriage, The Brady Bunch, and space aliens. Let the romance be rekindled.
 

Welcome to GrandOldTeam

Get involved. Registration is simple and free.

Back
Top