Match Day Ritual

[Charles Hawtrey]

What stupid ritual(s) do you have on match day that will ensure the Toffees win? and of course how do you blame those rituals when the outcome (recently frequently) is adverse...?

Charles Hawtrey said:
It all my fault..... I didnt wear my Black training top Saturday, as its in the wash! After the last win I had to change my computer password, it was doucoure16 and I changed it to Ancelotti1 - Doucoure immediately gets a season ending injury and Carlo cant pick a team anymore.
As I said to the God of Everton last night in my prayers, " Its not you, its me!"

My away day (at home) attire stopped working last Monday, although I think I wore socks and I shouldn't have. Fine margins in the lucky underpants-esque world

 

[Lord Buckethead]

Sometimes the Dark Lord listens to my chants and we win, sometimes he doesn't and we lose.

 

[4737carlin]

Stay in bed until 5 mins before first game kicks off then put the TV on

 

[Tramps_mate]

Expect to lose to poor sides. Switch off at 25 minutes when 2-0 down to Burnley at home!

 

[gianthogweed]

Move anything breakable out of reach get the bleach ready

 

[maccavennie]

I like to wake up bright and early and clear the lungs by doing at least 10 minutes of booing.

I like to ensure my swear count is up and running from 10.30am so even a simple question like "would you like a cup of tea King maccavennie" gets a short blast of "of course I 'kin do and if he plays Gomes again he'll get my empty cup launched at him from my couch".

By 2pm and the team has been announced I'm literally frothing with rage with the team selection so go the toilet and sit there for a good 15 minutes.

Kick off starts and I can usually last about 6 minutes before I complain about a player not being able to pass properly or the inevitable tirade of swearing starts.

Half time I take myself away to a quiet place and write some poetry and I tend to think about if I went back in time to the 1700's what could I actually teach them about the future.....very little I think.

Full time comes and goes, 347 swear words later and I like to stew over the result to pick apart what did I do wrong.....well its obvious why we got beat. My missus gave me my cup of tea in the wrong cup the flaming kopite bugger. Would have been easier to poison me but oh no, she has to give me my tea in the wrong cup knowing full well its a cursed cup and I'll have to sit through this pile of crap.

Well it won't happen again and if she wants a glass of wine tonight to watch her match, her lucky wine glass will be missing!

 

[ste d' indica]

 

[BlueTX]