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MATCH THREAD: France Vs. England - Euro 2012 Group D - 5PM KO

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Me, and me mum and me dad and me gran are off to Waterloo, Me and me mum, and me dad and me gran, and a bucket of Vindaloo. Bucket.

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Vs.
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So here it is. I would say the Big One. But it would probably be a lie. Remember that bit in Days Of Thunder, when Cole Trickle is about to slam his car into the wall and he says 'this is gonna hurt'? That's how I feel about this game. I'll try and keep this preview positive. Hey, Chelsea won the Champions League and they're an English team...IT'S ON....Drogba is English right? WHAT DO YOU MEAN CARROLL IS IN?!

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Since the squad was announced England have lost Lampard, Cahill and Gareth Barry. No major loss there really. Lampard may not have played, Cahill is replacable and Gareth Barry is Gareth Barry. The problem is who replaced them. Henderson stands out as the horrific choice as he's badly Henderson (yeah, I used that line again), Jagielkla is probably being touted up by all the City, Arsenal and United players, and Martin Kelly isn't Rio Ferdinand apparently. Strange choices (bar Jags to be fair), but hey. What's done is done. We go with what we have.

Danny+Welbeck+of+England+scores+the+opening+goal


Without Wayne Rooney for this game and the next after he smashed a Montenegran lad in the back of the leg, it's Welbeck or Carroll up top in an attack which looks about as threatening as Joe Pasquale with a Transformers lunch box. Although, he and Ashley Young did take their friendly goals very nicely indeed. Odds are the forwards won't get too many chances. So it has to be Welbeck for me who is just more clinical. Carroll will be used when (not if) we get desperate late on.

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Now the French. Oh how I long for the France of the last big tournament. They were a shambles. They all hated each other and this transpired onto the pitch. Dominech was seen to, and replaced by defensive legend Laurent Blanc who has sorted them right out. They are now on a 20 odd match unbeaten run and love each other. Even Frank Ribery looks ace for them. Thier front line of Benzema, Malouda, Giroud, Nasri, Ribery and the other ace players they can choose from is frightening. Terry (vom) and Lescott will have their work cut out, especially if England go as defensive as we all expect them to.

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Will England get anything out of this? Probably not if we are all being honest. However, stranger things have happened. Without having seen Sweden or Ukraine yet, I feel much more confident for those games. Not sure why. However, a loss in this and the media will be all over the manager and the players as per usual. The heat won't help England as we always seem to struggle with it. My fear is how defensive we set up. I can see the logic in it, as Chelsea and a few other have proved, but when France eventually do break through, it's hard to see us getting back into a game where we have been so defensive. We shall see though. Anyone else think we'll see this again?

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Now then, onto you lot. I can understand some of you not liking England, and not wanting us to do well. But the French though? Seriously? They really smell funny amongst other things. (Jesus christ the computer just reset itself here!! God bless the auto save thing!) Anyway, the French? Really?

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Last time England played France in a competitive game Zidane smashed us all over the show in the last 2 minutes. I'm not sure I can handle a loss like that one again! I might not be back on before the Sweden preview depending on the result here! So au revoir for now.

I won't be on during the game as i'll be drowning my sorrows before the game has even started. Good luck to all, whoever you are following.

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No idea where the Nelson is. Asterix FFS. they have magic potion the cheating Frogs!

Where on earth are you from, me from INGUUURRLAAAND, where you come from do you put the kettle on? KICK IT
 
Jesus Christ that Ribery thing is f*cking ruthless. Not very sporting that lad. Can see why you support England.
 
Reasons for France to win :

Roy "stinks of wee" Hodgson - Former RS Manager
Stevie "runs kids over in his car, beats up DJs, starfish" G - RS Captain

Back up cast
Ashley "55k a week, I nearly crashed my car" Cole
Glen "people call me negrito all the time" Johnson
Joleon "JUDAS" Lescott
John "I will do your wife lad" Terry
Stewart "Only Henderson being in the squad prevents me from being the worst" Downing
Jordan "Im so Adam its unreal" Henderson
Ashley "Super snide" Young
Andy "I beat up chicks cos im dead ard" Carroll

Viva la France
 

Good writings Ijjemon.

I've got to watch this in France ffs. I might be shutting myself in my hotel room with a case of Stella to ease the fume
 
Who do you reckon they'll play up front? I thought you'd do them until I looked at Jock's France thread yesterday. They've got some really ace players.

Benzema is a cert in the middle.

Ribery right and some other ace speedy bloke on the left.

*sigh

*flashback to Barry chasing Ozil.

*sweats
 
Reasons for France to win :

Roy "stinks of wee" Hodgson - Former RS Manager
Stevie "runs kids over in his car, beats up DJs, starfish" G - RS Captain

Back up cast
Ashley "55k a week, I nearly crashed my car" Cole
Glen "people call me negrito all the time" Johnson
Joleon "JUDAS" Lescott
John "I will do your wife lad" Terry
Stewart "Only Henderson being in the squad prevents me from being the worst" Downing
Jordan "Im so Adam its unreal" Henderson
Ashley "Super snide" Young
Andy "I beat up chicks cos im dead ard" Carroll

Viva la France

Ok mate.
 


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