2018/19 Michael Keane

[Rollo Tomassi]

Sad we got rid of Shane Duffy far to soon.

more alarming that we punted Funes Mori first instead of Keane

 

[Eggsyblueskin]

Offer him up as human sacrifice on the centre circle at the first home game.

 

[Badge1878]

Like a lighthouse. The only thing that turns quickly is his head when danger is behind him and it’s usually a problem. Turning circle of the 341 Double Decker.

Legs don’t move, static, career probably on the rocks & now looking a real liability. If I’ve misjudged him in an Everton shirt I apologise for my critical assessment- you may have seen an ability I’ve yet to appreciate.

 

[Rudolf Hucker]

Really hope he comes good.

Really don’t see it happening.

 

[Azzurri]

Easily one of our most consistent performers.

Shame it's so consistently terrible.

(Which is ,of course ,what I was alluding to.)

Americans don’t understand nuance or irony, mate.

 

[evertony]

You don't get 4 caps for England with no attributes.

So what are these attributes that Keane has? On the evidence of every game he’s played for Everton I’ve not seen any attributes above those a bog-standard Championship centre-back would have. His timing is horrendous, his heading is a joke, he has no pace, no aggression, no leadership qualities....in fact I think he’d struggle in the Championship such is his lack of confidence or ability.
If he starts the season we are in for a tough time defensively.

 

[Azzurri]

You don't get 4 caps for England with no attributes.

You do, they’re crap

 

[Wayno]

He’s a 1 goal head start for the opposition every single game. Brands needs to get on the phone to Dyche ASAP and get as much as they can of that £30m back.

Burnley are probably the only club in the country that would pay any sort of money for him at the minute. He’s the worst starting CB in the premier league

 

[ToffeeTim]

If you move him into the channel the lad literally drowns. It's like he's wading through a swamp. Frightening piece of scouting this by Walsh at the time.

We need someone else unless we plan on parking a double decker bus every week. Which I hope we are not planning to do.

 

[evertony]

Sad. I wanted it to work for the lad. I recall a colleague who follows Man Utd rolling his eyes when the papers said they were in for him at the same time as us, and that having been at Utd as a youngster he would be going back with something to prove. His reaction when we spunked £24,000,000 on him still haunts me.

 

[efcjames]

Crap. Shame we won't sell him.

 

[maccavennie]

Crap. Shame we can't sell him as nobody wants him.

Fixed

 

[TheBlueGibbon]

No pace and no ability to read the game to cover for that.
Their goal was a perfect demonstration of that. He should have intercepted that ball.

 

[II McColl II]

"When he was 15 or 16, he had a big growth spurt," recalls McGuinness. "He became gangly and uncoordinated."

The physical changes impacted his game. "Some people were wondering if he was good enough because he wasn't playing well," says McGuinness. "But part of the reason for that was that he couldn't control his limbs.

We thought we have to see how he develops once he has come through his growth spurt. It would have been unfair to release him at that point. He wasn't fully grown. He was changing from a boy to a man."

Quotes made by Paul McGuinness who was a Utd youth coach when Keane was coming through.

Think it's fair to say Utd read the situation perfectly, gave him time to see if he developed realized he still couldn't control his own body let him go and then Dyche pulled a wonder by building a system that hid his frailties and made him look like a potentially very good defender.

Shame the outcome is he's no different than he was 9/10 years ago, still can't control his limbs to be physically good enough for a side that's intention isn't to sit deep and counter.

Wish the lad would prove us wrong but it's looking like a damaged limitations job at this point.

 

[Albro]

Speaking of Mickey Keanes attributes, wer should list them.

1. Has good straight vision eyesight for a blind man
2. Good at hide and seek, my Aussie Sheppard dog would love to play games with him.
3. Agile enough that he can turn within 3-4 seconds
4. Able to put shoelaces on.

He isn't as bad as Tubby Williams though. 24m upfront, fair dinkum yibbers that