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Morgan Schneiderlin

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Woolly Blue said:
I think people are giving optimism a try today.

Normal service will likely be resumed tomorrow
Click to expand...
3097fa9414aa2eac3cde4f5cf853ae56.jpg


I think this image is applicable to Everton transfer windows on a whole. Whether you are either optimistic or pessimistic - we all have the urine extracted.
 
MoutsGoat said:
Morgs and Deeps.

Ours.

Good night god bless

Looks towards USMFF

Catches sight of James Mcarthur
Click to expand...
Ours as in buy the kits and add them to the Witsel/Mata collection or ours in the sense they will actually be at Finch Farm (excuse me, USM Finch Farm) before month end?
 
John Osters Love Child said:
just read this on RedCafe, made me giggle and though maybe we could all do with a chuckle on a miserably and slow Monday afternoon.

Yeah to be honest I’d be fine with him joining Everton (although I’d prefer West Brom – casionally Odin, before deciding their next line up by watching the flights of birds). Unfortunately like a large number of unregulated free schools, their performance soon left a lot to be desired. Undeterred, Everton swiftly put that behind them with the perfect managerial appointment for their club: Ronald Koeman.

elsewhere.
Click to expand...

@chicoazul multi?
 

John Osters Love Child said:
just read this on RedCafe, made me giggle and though maybe we could all do with a chuckle on a miserably and slow Monday afternoon.

Yeah to be honest I’d be fine with him joining Everton (although I’d prefer West Brom – we’ve already played them twice in the league), especially since it looks like we’ll recuperate most if not all of what we paid to sign him.

What I won’t enjoy though is the smugness that I guarantee will emanate out of Goodison Park as soon as he turns in even the most remote prospect of a 6/10 performance. You see, I’ve discovered in the past half an hour that Everton as a football club have mastered the art of smugness. Let’s consider the managers first. Way back when, bulging-eyed Davey Moyes was heralded as the salt-of-the-earth, British jobs for British workers man of the people that every football club should want to have in the dugout. Match of the Day’s questionably-shirted scholiasts used words like ‘proud’ and ‘dogged’ to describe Everton, although for some reason not to describe their proud tradition of dogged failure to beat a top six team away from home. Then it turned out that, away from the flattering blue lighting of their half of Merseyside, Moyes was just bitter and incompetent (although the eyes really did bulge). But I’m not sure they actually noticed this, because at the time they had Roberto Martínez as manager.

It was at this point that Everton really became the epicentre of all that was beautiful and good about football. They played the right way, with the right players, and the right manager doing the right things with the right chairman and probably the right ball boys too. They were never as vocal about real or perceived excellence as Liverpool, but I never said they were brash, just smug. 'Pool have always been very proactive in their self-delusion, Everton prefer to bask in the light of their own (self-)righteousness. The ‘the school of science’ was now back (other teams in English – and indeed world – football had of course by now reverted to offering sacrifice to Zeus and occasionally Odin, before deciding their next line up by watching the flights of birds). Unfortunately like a large number of unregulated free schools, their performance soon left a lot to be desired. Undeterred, Everton swiftly put that behind them with the perfect managerial appointment for their club: Ronald Koeman.

Now what’s smug about the current Everton manager isn’t what’s made of him by the fans so much as his own personal demeanour. Ronald is a man of quite exceptional smugness. Take the post-match interview after the Southampton game just gone. Ronnie spends the whole interview fighting a battle with the corners of his mouth, which are coiled and ready to curl up into the conceited smile of a smug, smug man. Sometimes he lets them win, sometimes he appears to have chased off the smile entirely, only for it to come back. He’s not even that happy that Everton won, just that Southampton lost, and they’ll be unhappy. He’s doing it just to spite them (and not even because they used to employ him, although it definitely helps). Ronald Koeman is the kind of man who would smear himself in marmite and roll around in your clothes and bank-notes. Not because he’d enjoy it – I don’t think there’s a man alive who wants to be covered in marmite, clothes and cash – but because you’d hate it more than he would.

He reminds me of my cousin Vinnie’s cat. This cat ran the show at Vinnie’s house, and would sh*t on the floor at will, for no other conceivable reason than just to spite Vinnie. He seemed to do it constantly; although in retrospect it may have just been triggered by my presence (can’t think why though). Mercifully the cat died some years back in a surprisingly bloody collision with an agricultural vehicle. Its name escapes me, but may have genuinely been Ronald, which would have been fitting. He also really looked like Ronald: plump and ginger, with a certain greasy radiance of dubious origin. It wasn’t that he lit up the room, more that you couldn’t help but notice him out of the corner of your eye and shudder slightly. If Ronald Koeman were sh*tting on your floor I expect it would be much the same.

Returning at not-unreasonable length to my actual point, we should prepare for Everton’s smugness about having ‘brought Schneiderlin back to his best’, ‘shown the true talent of a quality and underappreciated player’ and possibly ‘saved ickle Morgan from the nasty men’ if we sell him to them. This is the club that opened a shop in the Liverpool One shopping centre called ‘Everton Two’. The address is thus ‘Everton Two, Liverpool One’. In fairness this is definitely funny, but to my mind it’s made even more so by their complete inability to actually get a winning scoreline against the Dippers on the pitch since the time of the prophet Roy (Kopites 26.35). The smugness continues unabated, which in hindsight makes them a perfect club for Tom Cleverley, whose Spanish style isn’t appreciated elsewhere.
Click to expand...

It's a bit of an odd rant, and he obviously doesn't like us. What comes across here is he is incredibly smug about moaning about alleged smugness. Also what he seems to really resent is the inner confidence Evertonians have. This is a normal thing for most Mancs you meet, who have an inbuilt inferiority and obsessiveness over the City of Liverpool generally.

I imagine we will get Schneiderlin back to his best. Nothing to be smug about, I will just be happy if we do so. Maybe he's frustrated they are letting a player go who I still think would strengthen their first 11? I can't really work it out.

The bit about Koeman is most odd. Lets be frank here, Koeman as a footballer is so far ahead of many of the players they decry as legends, that they themselves wouldn't be fit to lace his boots. Say what you wish about Everton, but it seems foolish to decry one of the greatest footballers there's ever been.
 
John Osters Love Child said:
just read this on RedCafe, made me giggle and though maybe we could all do with a chuckle on a miserably and slow Monday afternoon.

Yeah to be honest I’d be fine with him joining Everton (although I’d prefer West Brom – we’ve already played them twice in the league), especially since it looks like we’ll recuperate most if not all of what we paid to sign him.

What I won’t enjoy though is the smugness that I guarantee will emanate out of Goodison Park as soon as he turns in even the most remote prospect of a 6/10 performance. You see, I’ve discovered in the past half an hour that Everton as a football club have mastered the art of smugness. Let’s consider the managers first. Way back when, bulging-eyed Davey Moyes was heralded as the salt-of-the-earth, British jobs for British workers man of the people that every football club should want to have in the dugout. Match of the Day’s questionably-shirted scholiasts used words like ‘proud’ and ‘dogged’ to describe Everton, although for some reason not to describe their proud tradition of dogged failure to beat a top six team away from home. Then it turned out that, away from the flattering blue lighting of their half of Merseyside, Moyes was just bitter and incompetent (although the eyes really did bulge). But I’m not sure they actually noticed this, because at the time they had Roberto Martínez as manager.

It was at this point that Everton really became the epicentre of all that was beautiful and good about football. They played the right way, with the right players, and the right manager doing the right things with the right chairman and probably the right ball boys too. They were never as vocal about real or perceived excellence as Liverpool, but I never said they were brash, just smug. 'Pool have always been very proactive in their self-delusion, Everton prefer to bask in the light of their own (self-)righteousness. The ‘the school of science’ was now back (other teams in English – and indeed world – football had of course by now reverted to offering sacrifice to Zeus and occasionally Odin, before deciding their next line up by watching the flights of birds). Unfortunately like a large number of unregulated free schools, their performance soon left a lot to be desired. Undeterred, Everton swiftly put that behind them with the perfect managerial appointment for their club: Ronald Koeman.

Now what’s smug about the current Everton manager isn’t what’s made of him by the fans so much as his own personal demeanour. Ronald is a man of quite exceptional smugness. Take the post-match interview after the Southampton game just gone. Ronnie spends the whole interview fighting a battle with the corners of his mouth, which are coiled and ready to curl up into the conceited smile of a smug, smug man. Sometimes he lets them win, sometimes he appears to have chased off the smile entirely, only for it to come back. He’s not even that happy that Everton won, just that Southampton lost, and they’ll be unhappy. He’s doing it just to spite them (and not even because they used to employ him, although it definitely helps). Ronald Koeman is the kind of man who would smear himself in marmite and roll around in your clothes and bank-notes. Not because he’d enjoy it – I don’t think there’s a man alive who wants to be covered in marmite, clothes and cash – but because you’d hate it more than he would.

He reminds me of my cousin Vinnie’s cat. This cat ran the show at Vinnie’s house, and would sh*t on the floor at will, for no other conceivable reason than just to spite Vinnie. He seemed to do it constantly; although in retrospect it may have just been triggered by my presence (can’t think why though). Mercifully the cat died some years back in a surprisingly bloody collision with an agricultural vehicle. Its name escapes me, but may have genuinely been Ronald, which would have been fitting. He also really looked like Ronald: plump and ginger, with a certain greasy radiance of dubious origin. It wasn’t that he lit up the room, more that you couldn’t help but notice him out of the corner of your eye and shudder slightly. If Ronald Koeman were sh*tting on your floor I expect it would be much the same.

Returning at not-unreasonable length to my actual point, we should prepare for Everton’s smugness about having ‘brought Schneiderlin back to his best’, ‘shown the true talent of a quality and underappreciated player’ and possibly ‘saved ickle Morgan from the nasty men’ if we sell him to them. This is the club that opened a shop in the Liverpool One shopping centre called ‘Everton Two’. The address is thus ‘Everton Two, Liverpool One’. In fairness this is definitely funny, but to my mind it’s made even more so by their complete inability to actually get a winning scoreline against the Dippers on the pitch since the time of the prophet Roy (Kopites 26.35). The smugness continues unabated, which in hindsight makes them a perfect club for Tom Cleverley, whose Spanish style isn’t appreciated elsewhere.
Click to expand...


oh god, now kopites are going on redcafe and pretending to be man united fans.

Only kopites write a poem like this.
 

d34noj said:
3097fa9414aa2eac3cde4f5cf853ae56.jpg


I think this image is applicable to Everton transfer windows on a whole. Whether you are either optimistic or pessimistic - we all have the urine extracted.
Click to expand...

What an exceptional analogy for Evertonians during transfer window.

The Half Full phase comes in the weeks leading up to the window when we remember that we should have money and that we desperately need some new faces in the squad. Hence the optimistic targets and the casual mentions of a war chest or something.

The Half Empty phase begins between 1 and 2 days of the window opening. We sign a promising youngster after a week and then nothing. So then we all begin to say things like "Well of course nobody's going to want to sign after last season" and people start muttering things about the Martinez legacy and Kenwright leading some sort of muppet delegation to Portugal to sign Moutinho or something.

Then the Piss Realisation that happens around the same time every window when we sign another Valencia on loan about 4 hours before the window shuts.

Wait half a year, rinse and repeat ;)
 

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