The following events are 100% true and exact.
---------------------------------------------
What a day for Fulham away! Nice enough weather, few drinks for the coach and hopefully a pleasant atmosphere. Before boarding the coach I made a quick stop to Tesco to grab some food for the journey, I had a case of Budweiser in my hand I thought before entering the store "What if he thinks I've stole them? Shall I hide them in the car park or take them in and explain?" I walked through the doors and seen the security guard at the front, I said "Hello mate, am I alright to walk in with these?" He replied "yea mate" and carried on what he was doing. I walked in the store with the drinks under my arm as people casually shopped, in thought "whey! Look at me, I've got beers at 12 in the afternoon! These all must think I'm mad!"
I walked over to where I wanted to get food from and picked out some chicken and a tub of cheese and tomato pasta. That will do nicely for the journey. I paid for them and left with a swift "see ya mate" to the security guard. As I walked down the road the coach was parked ready to leave so I boarded and chose a seat towards the back with people I spoke to on it a few days earlier. The journey was quiet with the occasional bit of banter and everyone was in good spirits. There was a lad there who I'd never met who is an absolute legend and for the purpose of this story I'm going to call him Kyle. There was also another lad who I will call Greg. Kyle was up singing his random songs making everyone laugh on the journey, some terrible song chants in there, one that went "f off Davey Moyes, you play with little boys, peadophile, phile, phile" he was a great laugh and made the journey more pleasurable. (It got better on the way home) We hit traffic entering London and it looked really bad, according to the radio there had been an accident so we didn't know how long it would take. Eventually it cleared and we entered the area of Fulham around 7pm. Off the coach we got and I went to a kebab shop in the way, I wasn't sure at first as I thought "Am I eating the right stuff?" But all ingredients looked healthy so I ordered the chicken one in a wrap sort of thing. I enjoyed it as I walked towards Craven Cottage. Not much of a ground, it looked more like a house but the area surrounding the ground wasn't like the area surrounding Goodison, it was much cleaner and the people didn't look like football fans. There was no point hanging around so I entered the Putney End and went to my seat around 7:40. I watched the warm up and proceeded to kick off.
The football started nice and we took the lead through Steven Naismith after a lovely through ball from Deulofeu. Good start, I thought we were on for 3-0 at this point. We gradually settled and allowed a mediocre Fulham team get into the game, after getting through the first half we conceded in the second to level things, I think this was time for some changes as I was beginning to think Naismith was running out of steam. There was a guy behind me shouting random things and it began to annoy me. Hearing him refer to Deulofeu as "Del
boy" seemed to irritate me a bit and the odd only fools and horses catchphrases wasn't going down too well. He started to sing "it's enough to make your heart go woooaaaahhhh" but his "wooooaaaahhh" was uuuuurrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh" and at this point I felt like moving to another part of the ground, he was very loud. As we all know Darren Bent scored a goal that Robles should have saved on his near post but we all know what happened and if you want my opinion on the game it will be somewhere in the match thread. I was devastated to be knocked out of a competition we had a great chance of winning and trodded off afterwards back to the coach bewildered and disappointed.
I got back in the coach and Greg didn't know the score as he'd left the ground after 55 minutes to get some coke. He was a bit twisted as I told him we got beat but he thought I was lying. The journey began and stopped suddenly as Kyle boarded the coach armed with a glass of amaretto and coke. We made our journey back to Liverpool and the lads decided to drink and sniff whilst I'd enough of drinking after 4 bottles and gave the rest away. The lads were having a laugh and a story came up about how Greg once snorted a line off Kyle's ball. We were laughing our heads off and encouraged them to do it again. Kyle whipped out his ball and Greg covered it with coke, next minute he sniffed it through his nose to rapturous laughter, it was unbelievable! Kyle felt left out so he asked Greg if he could sniff a line off his head, on which he agree to so his head was covered in coke and Kyle sniffed it but left loads on there so went back for another go. We laughed again as what I was witnessing was probably the greatest thing I have ever seen. It was brilliant. We started to play a game to name Everton players throughout the letters of the alphabet and the loser will have to sniff a line off Kyle's ball, we got through the alphabet but couldn't think of a player beginning with Z so the game got abandoned and nobody sniffed nothing off his ball. We then asked Kyle to sniff a line off his own ball which he replied "How am I gonna do that?" The coach journey settled down and we arrived back in Liverpool about 3:30am. I left the coach and walked home as I couldn't be bothered phoning a taxi and felt like stretching my legs after sittin for so long. I got home about 4:30 and crawled into bed. What a day out that was!
---------------------------------------------
What a day for Fulham away! Nice enough weather, few drinks for the coach and hopefully a pleasant atmosphere. Before boarding the coach I made a quick stop to Tesco to grab some food for the journey, I had a case of Budweiser in my hand I thought before entering the store "What if he thinks I've stole them? Shall I hide them in the car park or take them in and explain?" I walked through the doors and seen the security guard at the front, I said "Hello mate, am I alright to walk in with these?" He replied "yea mate" and carried on what he was doing. I walked in the store with the drinks under my arm as people casually shopped, in thought "whey! Look at me, I've got beers at 12 in the afternoon! These all must think I'm mad!"
I walked over to where I wanted to get food from and picked out some chicken and a tub of cheese and tomato pasta. That will do nicely for the journey. I paid for them and left with a swift "see ya mate" to the security guard. As I walked down the road the coach was parked ready to leave so I boarded and chose a seat towards the back with people I spoke to on it a few days earlier. The journey was quiet with the occasional bit of banter and everyone was in good spirits. There was a lad there who I'd never met who is an absolute legend and for the purpose of this story I'm going to call him Kyle. There was also another lad who I will call Greg. Kyle was up singing his random songs making everyone laugh on the journey, some terrible song chants in there, one that went "f off Davey Moyes, you play with little boys, peadophile, phile, phile" he was a great laugh and made the journey more pleasurable. (It got better on the way home) We hit traffic entering London and it looked really bad, according to the radio there had been an accident so we didn't know how long it would take. Eventually it cleared and we entered the area of Fulham around 7pm. Off the coach we got and I went to a kebab shop in the way, I wasn't sure at first as I thought "Am I eating the right stuff?" But all ingredients looked healthy so I ordered the chicken one in a wrap sort of thing. I enjoyed it as I walked towards Craven Cottage. Not much of a ground, it looked more like a house but the area surrounding the ground wasn't like the area surrounding Goodison, it was much cleaner and the people didn't look like football fans. There was no point hanging around so I entered the Putney End and went to my seat around 7:40. I watched the warm up and proceeded to kick off.
The football started nice and we took the lead through Steven Naismith after a lovely through ball from Deulofeu. Good start, I thought we were on for 3-0 at this point. We gradually settled and allowed a mediocre Fulham team get into the game, after getting through the first half we conceded in the second to level things, I think this was time for some changes as I was beginning to think Naismith was running out of steam. There was a guy behind me shouting random things and it began to annoy me. Hearing him refer to Deulofeu as "Del
boy" seemed to irritate me a bit and the odd only fools and horses catchphrases wasn't going down too well. He started to sing "it's enough to make your heart go woooaaaahhhh" but his "wooooaaaahhh" was uuuuurrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh" and at this point I felt like moving to another part of the ground, he was very loud. As we all know Darren Bent scored a goal that Robles should have saved on his near post but we all know what happened and if you want my opinion on the game it will be somewhere in the match thread. I was devastated to be knocked out of a competition we had a great chance of winning and trodded off afterwards back to the coach bewildered and disappointed.
I got back in the coach and Greg didn't know the score as he'd left the ground after 55 minutes to get some coke. He was a bit twisted as I told him we got beat but he thought I was lying. The journey began and stopped suddenly as Kyle boarded the coach armed with a glass of amaretto and coke. We made our journey back to Liverpool and the lads decided to drink and sniff whilst I'd enough of drinking after 4 bottles and gave the rest away. The lads were having a laugh and a story came up about how Greg once snorted a line off Kyle's ball. We were laughing our heads off and encouraged them to do it again. Kyle whipped out his ball and Greg covered it with coke, next minute he sniffed it through his nose to rapturous laughter, it was unbelievable! Kyle felt left out so he asked Greg if he could sniff a line off his head, on which he agree to so his head was covered in coke and Kyle sniffed it but left loads on there so went back for another go. We laughed again as what I was witnessing was probably the greatest thing I have ever seen. It was brilliant. We started to play a game to name Everton players throughout the letters of the alphabet and the loser will have to sniff a line off Kyle's ball, we got through the alphabet but couldn't think of a player beginning with Z so the game got abandoned and nobody sniffed nothing off his ball. We then asked Kyle to sniff a line off his own ball which he replied "How am I gonna do that?" The coach journey settled down and we arrived back in Liverpool about 3:30am. I left the coach and walked home as I couldn't be bothered phoning a taxi and felt like stretching my legs after sittin for so long. I got home about 4:30 and crawled into bed. What a day out that was!
