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My Football Diary

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MickM86 said:
What a day! Boarded the coach at 7:30 am and set off to London to play West Ham. I think we was the only ones in the coach's ever history to never have a drink on the way there and back. Firsts for everything I told him!

First we went to Canary Wharf to a Wetherspoons on the docklands, it was a lovely place, big and very clean. The toilets were beautiful. Had a drink in there before leaving to go to the ground at 1:45. Suddenly, the people I was travelling with turned into the ku klux klan and came out with the most outrageous chants I've ever heard. I was angry and disgusted to have a bunch of idiots supporting the same club as me. I said to my bird "I feel like knocking fcuk out of someone here" she said "just ignore it" I mean, she was right, it'll be 40 onto 1 anyway so there's no point starting trouble. I just kept saying to myself over and over "Michael, the players aren't racist, you are here for them, fcuk these" after driving through the east end and these low life's banging on the window to anyway person who was not white was quite embarrassing. I just wanted to get off. Finally we got to the stadium and at 2:30 went straight to the seat. Row D just behind the net, could see everything clear and my bird got the free kicks on her phone so I'll get her to what's app them to me and upload them here.

First half was poor but as soon as Romelu Lukaku came onto the pitch we were more dangerous and looked a serious threat. At 2-1 I thought it was it but once we levelled I knew we had something left in us as we kept attacking and finally a goal came. Lukaku! Yyyereeeeeaaaaaasssss! He scored but I didn't celebrate as much as he was out cold just yards from me. I hope he is alright. Everyone cheered and I looked on thinking "keep the noise down, he's out cold" he rose to his feet to a heroes applause and we welcomed our new hero to the team. "Rom-e Rom-Elu Romelu Lukaku!"

The Match finished 3-2 and we were unbeaten! Hearing news the RS got beat made it sweeter! We left the ground and boarded the coach and had a sing song all the way back to Everton. Same again Tuesday.
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Classic stuff this !
 
Pat's Van said:
I go for a piddle in the bogs at half time. But there’s a bit of a queue. I don’t really like to jump queues so I wait patiently. Finally it’s my go. And the whole of the bogs falls silent.
I’m standing at the bog looking straight ahead at the bricks. I can’t go. And it seems the fella next to me can’t go either, this is awkward. There is a deafening silence.

I think I should say something to the fella next to me. I know most of the lads on here would think of something funny to say in this situation but I just don’t know what to do. I really really need a pee badly but it just ain’t gonna happen. I cut my losses and just play it cool, I shake and zip up as though I’ve just peed and I get the [Poor language removed] out of there.

My bird says she’s hungry, “so am I” I replied so I head off to buy us a couple of hot-dogs. Damn! Another queue.
Again I wait, my bladder is bursting too. People who have already been served walk past wielding their juicy sizzling foot longs, they look super tastey. Something captures my attention, on the floor someone has dropped a sachet of ketchup. I stoop to pick it up. Have to make a fuss again don’t I? Holding it in the air I shout “Whose is this? Has anyone lost their ketchup?” Then I realise, it’s empty and therefore worthless. People are looking at me like to say “Who’s this crazy chump?”

I end up buying my hot dogs and I pay for them using a fiver and a couple of pound coins. The girl serving seems relieved and looks at me as though to say “ooh thanks , we need a few more pound coins for change”. I’m glad I’ve helped her. I walk off with my hot snacks. Happy to be of service. There is p*ss running down my leg.
Click to expand...



Good to see that Pat was nailing it even back in 2013.
 
MickM86 said:
What a day! Boarded the coach at 7:30 am and set off to London to play West Ham. I think we was the only ones in the coach's ever history to never have a drink on the way there and back. Firsts for everything I told him!

First we went to Canary Wharf to a Wetherspoons on the docklands, it was a lovely place, big and very clean. The toilets were beautiful. Had a drink in there before leaving to go to the ground at 1:45. Suddenly, the people I was travelling with turned into the ku klux klan and came out with the most outrageous chants I've ever heard. I was angry and disgusted to have a bunch of idiots supporting the same club as me. I said to my bird "I feel like knocking fcuk out of someone here" she said "just ignore it" I mean, she was right, it'll be 40 onto 1 anyway so there's no point starting trouble. I just kept saying to myself over and over "Michael, the players aren't racist, you are here for them, fcuk these" after driving through the east end and these low life's banging on the window to anyway person who was not white was quite embarrassing. I just wanted to get off. Finally we got to the stadium and at 2:30 went straight to the seat. Row D just behind the net, could see everything clear and my bird got the free kicks on her phone so I'll get her to what's app them to me and upload them here.

First half was poor but as soon as Romelu Lukaku came onto the pitch we were more dangerous and looked a serious threat. At 2-1 I thought it was it but once we levelled I knew we had something left in us as we kept attacking and finally a goal came. Lukaku! Yyyereeeeeaaaaaasssss! He scored but I didn't celebrate as much as he was out cold just yards from me. I hope he is alright. Everyone cheered and I looked on thinking "keep the noise down, he's out cold" he rose to his feet to a heroes applause and we welcomed our new hero to the team. "Rom-e Rom-Elu Romelu Lukaku!"

The Match finished 3-2 and we were unbeaten! Hearing news the RS got beat made it sweeter! We left the ground and boarded the coach and had a sing song all the way back to Everton. Same again Tuesday.
Click to expand...

Pat's Van said:
Mick you are either utterly insane or a literary genius.

Talking to a bus. Having a drink in the toilets. And hoping a football crowd would keep the noise down.

I think this is probably my favourite ever GOT thread.

Keep up the good work.
Click to expand...

lollol
 


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