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Old Everton Pictures

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When I was ten-years-old at Broadmeadow Junior School in Birmingham, we had a teacher who thought Irish country dancing would help our footwork on the soccer field. I still remember lining up in the dusty school hall, while the school record player filled the air with the skirl of scratchy mandolins and fiddles. Standing in a line, like some prehistoric version of Riverdance, the teacher exhorted us to get up on our toes and start kicking.

It seemed to me that over that endless half hour or so the entire school filed past the entrance to the assembly hall just so they could howl with laughter at our attempted jigging. I remember one of the jeerers in particular. He was a year older than me, about as tall, but built like the proverbial brick outhouse. His name was Bob Latchford. Bob was not only no fan of Irish country dancing, he was the only player in the school who definitely didn’t need it.

During morning and afternoon recess, we played in the playground with a tennis ball. This was because we weren’t allowed a real soccer ball in case we broke the school windows. This stupid rule probably did more to develop our ball control than any amount of hopping up and down to fol-de-riddle-de-bloody-diddly-doo.

Everyone wanted to be on Bob’s team, because Bob’s team always won. Unlike me, who had a tendency to trip over my own lanky legs, kick myself in the foot and eat asphalt, Bob had skills. Bob would waltz the tennis ball round the yard and if you got in his way he’d flatten you. He was the complete player.

Bob Latchford, born in 1951, was an English former association football centre forward. He made more than 500 appearances in the Football League, playing for Birmingham City, Everton, Swansea City, and Coventry City in the First Division, and won 12 full caps for England.

“I suppose people will remember me for my heading ability, but I could score with either foot too.” – Bob Latchford
 

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