Qualities the next Everton manager needs to possess

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He's a lovely grey these days
There's nothing lovely about him.
 

1. A homely chap who brews up for the lads at half time.
2. Wears a shirt, tie and Pringle jumper, grey trousers, white socks and black shoes for home and away games.
3. Has thinning hair.
4. Writes his team down on the back of a fag packet.
5. Attends Church of a Sunday and is tea-total (apart from at Christmas where he enjoys a couple of pints of Bitter at the Christmas do).
6. Takes a two week Summer holiday at the same all-inclusive Spanish hotel every year with his family.
7. Absolutely blammos the league with beautiful, attacking, old-school football that completely out-foxes all the other managers, whilst bringing through young players and spotting absolute gems from obscure foreign leagues because of his incredible footballing brain and coaching nouse.
 
Has to have zero 'baggage. We've all had a sneaking suspicion that Silva wasn't for us, as with Allardyce, Koeman and Martinez.
The next appointment needs to excite or at least intrigue, not be fighting our own fans within 5 minutes of a bad result.
 
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