The Drunk Thread

summerisle

summerisle

The rain, it raineth every day
It's been a while since we've had one. I've had a few, not too many that you don't think you're capable of normal actions. That is, until you fry some bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms and then the mushrooms, bacon and tomatoes, the pan, and the oil end up splattered on the floor. Not in a heap of course, everything scattered to the four winds, oil coating every surface. Oil and tomato crap on my trousers. I confess, I had a 'small' whisky, gathered up as much detritus that I could see, had a butty, and threw a load of newspapers on the floor.

Not exactly a tale for the ages but feckin ' pissed off, and I'm still hungry !

*this took a long time to type
 

summerisle said:
It's been a while since we've had one. I've had a few, not too many that you don't think you're capable of normal actions. That is, until you fry some bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms and then the mushrooms, bacon and tomatoes, the pan, and the oil end up splattered on the floor. Not in a heap of course, everything scattered to the four winds, oil coating every surface. Oil and tomato crap on my trousers. I confess, I had a 'small' whisky, gathered up as much detritus that I could see, had a butty, and threw a load of newspapers on the floor.

Not exactly a tale for the ages but feckin ' pissed off, and I'm still hungry !

*this took a long time to type
Click to expand...
Lost it here.
 
summerisle said:
It's been a while since we've had one. I've had a few, not too many that you don't think you're capable of normal actions. That is, until you fry some bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms and then the mushrooms, bacon and tomatoes, the pan, and the oil end up splattered on the floor. Not in a heap of course, everything scattered to the four winds, oil coating every surface. Oil and tomato crap on my trousers. I confess, I had a 'small' whisky, gathered up as much detritus that I could see, had a butty, and threw a load of newspapers on the floor.

Not exactly a tale for the ages but feckin ' pissed off, and I'm still hungry !

*this took a long time to type
Click to expand...
My very genuine and loving suggestion is please confirm your cooker is switched off.

X
 
On reading the rest, I was bang on.

What happened to a bit of holy ghost, buttered, a bit of bacon and some extra to be sure and a double egg?

I heartily salute the whisky side to keep the chef occupied.
 

summerisle said:
That's not happening, mainly because I don't have one. Also going to try and open a tin of salmon. I now know how Captain Scott felt like.
Click to expand...
I hope we've enough fuel to get the chip pan to temperature?

hot fat in the kitchen coupled with a few units floating around is not a promising concept, maybe a sarny is a better idea? chip pans are dangerous even when close to equilibrium. AT had it right.
 
summerisle said:
It's been a while since we've had one. I've had a few, not too many that you don't think you're capable of normal actions. That is, until you fry some bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms and then the mushrooms, bacon and tomatoes, the pan, and the oil end up splattered on the floor. Not in a heap of course, everything scattered to the four winds, oil coating every surface. Oil and tomato crap on my trousers. I confess, I had a 'small' whisky, gathered up as much detritus that I could see, had a butty, and threw a load of newspapers on the floor.

Not exactly a tale for the ages but feckin ' pissed off, and I'm still hungry !

*this took a long time to type
Click to expand...
Although youre fully aware, you need my missus around to tell you everything you do wrong. That'll put you right. If you listen, that is. She thinks.
 

summerisle said:
Also going to try and open a tin of salmon.
Click to expand...
ashvape4.gif
 

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