Once upon a time there was a fella called Frank, poor Frank hadn’t had much luck with the ladies for a while and his relationship history in his own words was ‘A massive train-wreck’. One day Frank met the woman of his dreams and they went on their first date to an upmarket place with free re-fills of Frosty Jack.
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Soon after their date the relationship moved on to a physical one with them unable to get enough of each other. Things couldn’t be any better and they were at it all the time, only pausing when the stench of alcohol and cigarette smoke rendered them both unconscious.
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Frank felt so in love that he wanted to introduce his new lady to the family, starting with the family pet. His new love went above and beyond to make the pet feel comfortable and Frank couldn’t have been happier with how the meeting went. The Labrador jizz in her hair told him that she was a keeper.
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As the weeks passed and Frank planned their future he became curious about his new lady’s ex, a fella that had cheated on her and left her devastated. Frank found the ex’s name and frantically searched the internet for information to see how he compared. Much to Frank’s surprise he found out via Facebook that her ex was on his stag do, alarm bells started to rattle around in Frank’s empty head.
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It slowly dawned on Frank that the love of his life was using him for nothing more than a pre-marriage fling. Frank obtained the number of the husband-to-be and tried to torpedo the wedding with this revelation but was shot down as a fantasist and a liar.
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The wedding went ahead as planned without a second thought for Frank and his ex-lover has refused to speak to him since. Also rumours that she may have been a second cousin and we're just waiting for the 14 fingered tot to emerge before we can clarify.
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Thankfully some positives have come out of this as it has freed up Frank to concentrate on his new career as a prostitute murdering HGV driver.
Before you go off on one you said to put it to the vote and all but one vote was yes, that's 95% in my book.
You also lost the right to complain when you talked about selling pictures of her and called her a duuuuurty hussy.
I mean no ill will but you flirted with telling the story so much that you've clearly got over her. Have a good weekend, I've got man flu so my punishment for revealing this is likely death anyway. If I don't die then I have to live with the fact that I've just compiled that this afternoon and will be re-assessing my life choices.
