Then you, Sir, are a true Olympian.
I myself became more than a bit sceptical of the Olympics in the late fifties when ALL the victorious Russian athletes were in the 'Army'. Really?
Since then it has gone to rat s--t and back with the introduction of crap awful trendy sports and professionals.
Politics and one-upmanship is the order, along with the bribing of officials , the bankrupting of countries, the utterly useless IOC, the drug testing and their targets and the resultnig diagnosis.
This, in addition to all the sponsors of healthy foodstuffs (I mean, Cola? Get real), and globally branded bullies.
For each World organisation, read Sepp, if you get my meaning.
And the final t--d in the water pipe, I hate to add Donald Twain, are the ceremonies, (although I suspect your post was very tongue in cheek. And hilarious).
Unfortunately, it is now an occasion about commercialism, corruption and politics, and really sod all to do with the sports. Now THAT is the real shame for all the gifted and dedicated sportsmen and women.