The million dollar snail question

[Groucho]

This is an old one but I’m hoping GOT’s membership reaction produces much hilarity.



There is no decoy snail. Neither die of old age.

First.

How much for the pair.

All yer ma’s

 

[moggeridge]

am i also a snail?

 

[Groucho]

am i also a snail?

No, but you do you in your free time.

 

[JLW]

This is an old one but I’m hoping GOT’s membership reaction produces much hilarity.

View attachment 222314

There is no decoy snail. Neither die of old age.

First.

How much for the pair.

All yer ma’s

Get yourself in to a pan let the snail get in it with you without touching you, you get out, put the lid on a pan before the snail can get out and duct tape the living daylights out of it.

Then go the casino and put ye million dollars on black on the roulette (lands on red) go back and remove the duct tape from the pan take the lid of and get in with the snail let it touch you then die.

 

[Littlesue]

Hit it with a mallet

 

[chrismpw]

Buy and live on an island in the opposite side of the planet. Every few years, come back to the home side.

Sleep inside a ring of salt. Might not kill it, but it'll smart!

 

[chrismpw]

Hit it with a mallet

It's immortal.

 

[The binman chronicles]

Fly abroad? Even if it catches a plane and takes cars, it's still got to crawl between modes of transportation. Then move again after x number of weeks.

Or just close your doors...

 

[Alan Whittle]

It's immortal.

Just use an immortal mallet. Duh!

 

[chicoazul]

Buy a big bag of salt and wait for it. I don’t believe it’s immortal.

 

[Tigger]

Brasses, lemo and salt

 

[Kurt.]

This could be a very difficult scenario if you’re Michael Keane

 

[Tipp blue]

Couple of questions.. How intelligent is a super Intelligent snail? I'd imigine a snail with the intelligence of a cat would be a super intelligent snail.
What is a snail going to do with a million dollars? Could it go onto the dark Web and hire someone to kidnap me and bring me to the location of the snail. This would mean human levels of intelligence.
I think I'd have to trap the [Poor language removed] in a glass bottle with a good strong plastic cork put the bottle into a plastic lunch box charter a boat to point nemo drop off the lunchbox and leave the prick to the mercy of the currents, with sheer luck it would be many decades/centuries before it reaches land, more likley it gets caught in the giro and has to wait for the lunchbox to corrode and then wait for the plastic cork to corrode then when it's out of the bottle it's still 1500 miles from the nearest land, quite a trek for a snail made even more difficult that it's in water.

 

[Kurt.]

After careful consideration, I would book a taxi to my house, I’d get the driver to pick up the snail and place him in the taxi, I’d give the driver £2k and tell him to get the snail as far away as possible… then I’d stand at my window and wave as I watch escargot

 

[tommye]

I would buy the Palacio de Sal on the Uyuni salt flats and live out my days there.


Up yours snail