little curly alan ball
Player Valuation: £70m
For the lads in Helmand Province and Afghanistan generally , as well as By Special Request from My Mother / My World ; Barbie .
The ORIGINAL L5CABarbizzzzlllle ,…
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Welcome , all to our little corner of the Sabbath .
Despite , as you will have noted , a , Special Request from that , Moyes Tour De Force , that is My Dear Mother , I had to think long and hard regarding the subject of today’s lesson .
See ??? While not everyone has liked , per se , the relative focuses of these Sermon’s , the subject has NOT actually caused a Kick -Off . Well , given some of the Threads begun on here , and elsewhere during the last few weeks , I did not want the lesson to be lost among the inevitable snarling .
But , know what ??? L.C.A.Barb IS RIGHT !!!
This man IS an Everton Legend , irrespective of blerts booing at 0-0 , half-time , or any number of konbheads , thus , I aim to continue , and hopefully do him justice as regards a half-decent Sermon . This lad , LITERALLY dragged us from the coldest , bleakest outposts of NOWHERESVILLE and took us , IF YOU DO NOT FUKN MIND , to the Top Table of European Football at the expense of the RS with , honest to Jesus , hardly anything at all . Moreover , has enjoyed the most European Football at Goodison since the ‘60’s .
Fair’s fair .
Ladies and Gentlemen , may I introduce , David Moyes .
The Ginger Fella was born on April 25 , 1963 , ( three months and 6 days before myself ) ; in Glasgow , Scotland - I LOOK YOUNGER - Honest !!!
He came from a Footy family . His Father , David Snr , - a Draughtsman , by trade , was Scout at local side , Drumchapel Amateurs - a team of some repute , incidentally , with numerous Scot’s Internationals among their Alma Mater . Via his connections therein , young David , a promising defender was given , and successfully passed , a trial and signed to the club in 1976 . He would play 4 years for Drumchapel , before being signed to a Professional Contract with , despite his heritage - his Cousin Dessie Hughes is Secretary at Coleraine Football Club ; Glasgow Celtic .
Never the greatest as regards ability went ; a Stopper , is I believe , the applicable term , Young David never really made the grade at Park-head , playing only 19 League games , and another 7 sundries - Yo’, McBillabong , Lid … ; before departing on a Free Transfer to Cambridge United , in October 1983 . Though it was , ostensibly , a backward step , pragmatist that he remains to this day , he rolled up his sleeves and made the best of it . He soon won them over , and in 2 years at the Club , played 79 League and 3 Cup Games for the U’s , before securing himself an Upwardly-Mobile move to Ashton Gate , as Bristol City signed Ginger for £10,000 on October 10 , 1985 . He would stay a further 2 seasons , playing 83 games , before , again in March , 1987 , the Robins accepted an offer from Shrewsbury Town of £30,000 . On the face of it , another retrograde decision , however , I understand that The Moyessiah played the best football of his English Career , at Moss Rose . He remained at the Spires for 3 years playing 91 League and 25 Cup games .
From there , he went back , “ Up the Road ,..” , to Dunfermline Athletic in August 1990-93 , playing 105 games for them . From there onto Hamilton Academicals , but was only really passing through , starting only 5 games in all . Hence , he was lured back South of the Border , to Deepdale ,Preston North End .
He would play 143 games for North End , scoring 14 goals , and was registered as a player from 1993-99 .
His last playing role in a career spanning 19 years and with 535 games and 46 goals for 7 different clubs .
He was ALWAYS going into Coaching , taking his first Badges at the tender age of 22 , and in the unfashionable time of the Mid - ‘80’s . Indeed , it was at Deepdale that he began to take on certain administrative duties . Gary Peters , then PNE Manager , made Davie an official member of the Coaching set-up , prior to him hanging up his boots , and with the departure of Peters , and at the age of 34 , the Directors turned to the Ginger one . Thus , he was on the Managerial Ladder at a relatively young age . He managed to stave off the immediate Spectre of relegation , and with the backing of the Club’s Heirachy , tinkered with the playing style incrementally , but over the longer term managed to change a long-ball team into a relatively , free-flowing outfit . Nevertheless , in his first full campaign , reached the Play-Offs , losing to Gillingham . From there , it was the , up-and-up . Preston would reach the First Division - ( Championship ) , in 2000 , Promoted as Champions , and to a level they had not reached in almost 20 years , and the following season missed out on the Premiership after a 3-0 defeat versus Bolton Wanderers ; as the Crimson - Coiffeured - Fella tasted genuine success for the first time . The same season , 1999-2000 , Preston were drawn against Everton at Goodison Park . They were unluckily defeated 2-0 with two late goals . Anyone present could not have failed to be impressed by both the performance of the side , and also it’s Ethos , via the Manager .His name also began to be bandies around Premier League Board Rooms . One of them being our own . However , he was offered , and turned down Manager’s roles at Manchester City , West Ham United and Southampton . Thus , after staying loyal probably 18 months too long , Kenwrong finally bit-the-bullet , and following a particularly hideous F.A. Cup hiding at Middlesborough relieved Walter Smith of the Manager‘s Chair .
The Everton Board approached David Moyes , apparently also recommended by Smith himself - fair play ; to be his replacement . Ginger took minutes to agree , shake hands , and face the Press .
Ah , facing the Press ….
So , in becoming the youngest Everton Manager , on Sunday 10 March , 2002 , since Howard Kendall Mk 1, young David faced his first media-scrum as Goodison Supremo ; his off-the-cuff response is now the stuff of Goodison Legend ;
“ I come from a City ( Glasgow ) , not unlike Liverpool . I am joining The People‘s Football Club .
The majority of the people you meet on the street are Everton fans ….”
Enough , I believe , said , an’ NOT FUKN BAD for your FIRST DAY’;S WORK .
His first day at Bellefield was met with the usual Captain’s Greeting , but also a , Spit-The-Dummy Spat , as Fat Boy Gascoigne disrespected the Club that tried to pull him from the gutter , AND FANS THAT NEVER CALLED THE PAPERS , BUT RATHER FIRED HIM INTO A TAXI WHEN HE FELL OUT OF VARIOUS LOCAL HOSTELERIES .
Moyes merely said , “ Tara …“
On the Saturday , came his Goodison debut . Our opponents were Fulham - our erstwhile enemies , and apart from the RS , our Primary Sending Off Opponents of recent years , AND containing one , “ King “ Ahem , Louis Saha . As we all know , Moylesey would exhibit his general skill for getting out of jail , as we scored within 42 seconds , Undies , at the Park End , going on to win 2-1 . Nevertheless , our new boss was greeted as vociferously at the end of the game as he was pre-match . It was positive . The squad , however , was NOT the best . Ageing also-rans , with the odd decent player , Weir , Campbell , Ferguson , when fit , etc . He saw something to work with ,…
LITTLE DID HE FUKN KNOW ..!!!
The following week , we all trekked off to Derby and , in a bizarre game , we somehow won 4-3 and Ginger REALLY WAS off and running . The week after , however , we were brought back down to earth with a bump with our perennial hiding at the Barcodes , this time replete with Shearer’s Wonder-Goal ,..
Oh , FUK ,… We went on to beat Blackburn at home and Southampton away , and despite a last day defeat at Arsenal , 3-4 , we were safe . So , mission accomplished , and the summer was for the Squad ….
The scorers in the first few games of Moyes’ tenure spoke volumes as regards the squad . Among the Ferguson’s and Unsworth’s , there was Radszinski , Alexanderson , and Chadwick , whom , with the greatest of respect to all - and they were not alone ; they were not of sufficient standard for Everton’ First Team , thank you VERY FUKN MUCH !!! Our new Manager recognised this , and incrementally , and with little financial assistance , given the league we play in , Gascoigne , Blomqvist , , others too , all inherited , all WEST.
One significant thing from the previous campaign , just before the end of the season , The Old Lady played host to some 20,000 for the F.A. Cup Youth Cup Semi Final , First Leg . The reason we were all there ???
2 words ; Wayne Rooney . Now , the shy , reluctant type that I am , you did not have to be L.C.A.B. to know ALL about this kid . All you had to do was live within 50 miles of Merseyside . Anyway , the boy more than lived up to his Rep’. What’s more , he was all but a man , physically , thus Mrs . Moyes having raised no fools , got the kid in with the First Team Proper as the new season began , He brilliantly told the Big Man to Mentor him . Genius , btw . His Hero . Q.E.D.
So , with Asbo up his Poker-Playing sleeve , he went out and , first , bought a much needed goalkeeper , and chose England Under 21 Keeper , Richard Wright from Arsenal for £2m . He then purchased , to EVERYONE’S surprise , Li Tie and Li Weifong , the first two players from the People’s Republic of China to play in English Football , also the Brazilian , ( Juliano ) Rodrigo .
As for the season itself , our first 2 home games were draws , two away defeats at City and Birmingham , a win over Middlesborough then another against Fulham , and it was off to Wrexham in the League Cup ,…
Anyone lucky enough to be there that night , as me and my good mucka , C , were , saw one of those , once--in-a-fukn-long-time nights as Wonder Boy ran the Journeymen ragged . The THING , was OUR PLAYERS MOUTHS HANGING OPEN . I swear that every Evertonian left the ground dreaming of the European Cup . The OTHER thing , was the return of optimism . Hope . Pure unadulterated Everton-Hope .
If you could bottle it ,it’d be the next Crack Cocaine .
Our perennial Old Trafford hiding , then it was back to Goodison for the home debut of young Asbo against Seaman and Arsenal .
Again , I don’t have meself , yous know that , but there’s a photo , printed in the Evertonian over-and-over whilst he played for us . It shows a section of the Park End , JUST as the ball is about to hit the back of the net . There , just off centre , is one , L5CABizzzzzlllle . Arms raised , Mouth open in an , “ O “ - what I actually said was , “ What a fukn gOal …!!! “
Oracle , see ???
A week later he scored the Winner at Leeds - which we DID NOT DO OFTEN …
Anyway , and back to the hope thing , we needed to pinch ourselves that not 12 fukn months ago we were subject to the torture that were the last days of Walter - Eh , DK ???; …TO THIS !!!
Still , we had Gemmill and Watson , Pistone . At Christmas , he secured the signature of Joseph Yobo from Marseilles , initially - typically Ginger , on a year-long loan . Also , archetypal Moyles , Brian McBride , his First raid into the burgeoning U.S. Market . Despite too many draws second half of the campaign , we went on , MIRACULOUSLY , let’s have it right , to finish 7th , missing out on Europe only at The Death , as , Why The Long Face ??? … Nistelrooy killed us . With what he had to work with , it was certainly noteworthy . EVERYONE thought so . So much so , that he was awarded the League Manager’s Association , Manager of the Year . Again , the first since Kendall to win such an award whilst Everton Manager .
Impressive , tbh ,..
2003/4 thus began with the greatest feeling of general optimism seen at Everton since Joe Royle’s 1995/96 . Out went Gemmill , Pembers , though , Watson , Pistone remained . He DID however , have plans for the work-a-day , Lee Carsley that NO-ONE could’ve foreseen . Through the , “ In “ Door came , Nyarko , McFadden , Stubbs , and , Thank the Good Lord , Nigel Martyn on a FREE TRANSFER from Leeds United . Wing-Nut Jeffers , sorry for his previous transgressions also returned on loan . Another point of note ; this summer also saw the first instalment of Davie’s , I WANT SEAN DAVIS , bid , via the media , Part 1 . Unsuccessful , as we know , but no less vehement for that .
Thus , All Systems Go , one would think . However , US being US , and Moyles in truth , suffering the first of a short series of Rollercoaster - up one year , down the next , campaigns ., we started well enough with the optimism over-spill leaking well into September , as both Fulham , and Leeds , via a Steve Watson Hat-Trick - Yes , I DID just write those words ; were easily despatched . The Autumn though , was not kind to us . Again , draws , but also defeats at Chelsea , Spurs and Bolton , saw us drop from contention . A brilliantly spirited 2-3 defeat at Old Trafford though - Rooney’s tackle on Ronaldo anyone ??? ; gave a glimpse of what the future COULD be like , but nevertheless , another defeat . We did beat Birmingham at home , Norwich in the Cup , and a creditable draw against The Arse’ , before two League losses against Charlton and Fulham , pre - we all piled into Coaches , paid for by our Kind-Hearted Chairman to attend Loftus Road , QPR and face Fulham in an F. A. Cup 4th round replay . In the event , they were better on the night , as - OXYMORON ALERT , Ner-Ner , Ner-Ner …; Saha was too good for us . Point was ,
the ,..two-steps-back , thing was all too clear . There WERE decent days , even then ; The ; Rooney’s Gonna Get Ya’ , 0-0 , Anfield Derby , the 3-4 Home Man Utd game , 3-0 down at half-time . However losing 6 of the last eight games , cost us dearly as we plummeted down the table , eventually finishing 17th , one place - and , admittedly , 6 points ; clear of ( Relegated ) Leicester City . It WAS NOT what we had been expecting , and some among us had the beginnings of a “ Cob-On “ .
Little did they know ….
Thus , Blues went off on Holiday , or not , we once more sent England’s Centre Forward to a Major Championships , as Wonder Geraphile went off to Portugal for the Euro’s .
The fact I knew he was gonna pull up trees and thus took my next year’s season ticket off’ve Stanley’s ., County Road , gave me no pleasure whatsoever , as Asbo did precisely what the fledgling L.C.A.B. predicted - Quelle Surprise ??? ; and would have taken the Top Tournament Scorer outright should he not have broken a metatarsal . He was interviewed by the World’s media , but at NO TIME , mentioned Everton Football Club , his status as Everton’s Highest Paid Teenage Player of all time , nor , interestingly enough , “ Once a Blue , ALWAYS a Blue …” . Again , Quelle Surprise . Thus , the Oracle of L5 was not amazingly gob-smacked when SERIOUS transfer rumours began to break with the return of the defeated Lions . Just in case anyone had forgotten , Little Mister , “ I uny ever wanted to play for Everton ,.. No , wait there , Man Utd , I mean … “ , WAS ACTUALLY half way to fukn Newcastle - IF , of course , you either had just landed from Mars , OR believed his toe-rag Agent . Moreover , the heirachy of Everton FC , after stating to anyone whom would listen that they would not do PRECISELY that , with not only THE FINEST young player in Europe , Messi was STILL bit-part then , and the Olympics IS NOT the European Championships - and probably the BEST player in the recent competition ; proceeded to take down their trousers and assumed the position as we were subject to the worst case of Public Larceny in Walton that year , as He went to a sniggering Man Utd , for £27 million pounds - in fact , £ 20.7 million pounds - as “ Working “ Grandmother’s all over Merseyside shed a brief tear ; , with add on’s , SHOULD an ageing side manage to win ALL domestic trophies PLUS Big Ears - as it is , they did , but WE WEREN’T TO KNOW THAT AN’ IT SHOULD’VE BEEN THE ICING , NOT THE FUKN CAKE , SOFT ARSE !!!
Anyway ; QUELLE FUKN SURPRISE ; TO ALL OF IT .
Meanwhile , Ginger , having held , The Keys To The Castle , had suddenly lost THE talent in English Football , and had 2 strikers nearing or over 30 , BOTH with injury records , one of which would play only 4 games more for the club . THIS , despite the other changes / improvements he HAD INTENDED to make . Anyway , this was what we had . He raised more than eyebrows in our house , for example , though when signing Journeyman , no-mark , from my perspective , as Marcus Bent came in from Leicester . Hardly a marquee signing , I think we all concurred .
Arsenal came , opening day and gave our annual hiding . No matter , myself and Brother-In-Law , John , trek off to Palace the following week . Glad I did , it was boss . We won 3-1 as Gravesen grabbed 2 , but Bent was the star of the show , as “ Super Kev’ “, played his final game for us . I was arrested on the way home - the last such occasion ; and thus spent the return journey incarcerated on the train . During that time , I heard much laughter and derision , but also , that Everton had just signed Tim Cahill - another whom had won me a NICE few quid over the previous 18 months - delighted . The other one was that we’d made a bid for Carragher and he was UP FOR IT . As things turned out , he regained his place the following week - having been swerved by Pheonix Club all pre-season and first 2 games , and the rest , as they say …. Hmmmm…
I can’t rightly recall why , but Timmy would miss the home win over WBA , I took the kids to see him making his debut at Old Trafford in an excellent showing and our first point there since Speed should’ve won it for us in ‘95 ; then onto the Council House , as once again with
B-Izzzzzzzlllle in attendance - this time with my Brother , Blackburn Dave . Timmy was of course , Timmy and duly scored the only goal , but took off his shirt in celebration and was dismissed . Nonetheless , he was The BOLLOX , that much was clear , and what with Yobo , Martyn , Gravesen , even Bent was turning up - NOT prolific at all , but keen as mustard and would run all day . Maybe this Fella DID know a thing or two about this transfer lark ???
After City , came ‘Boro - won . Went to Pompey ; Timmy - won . A defeat at Spurs , then , Soton - won . Next week , Norwich away . Won 3-2 in another boss away day . Chelsea beat us and Arsenal kicked us out the League Cup , but in the Premier League , we had it going on . We went to Birmingham and Tommy won it with a pen’ , before the RS came to town . Last year they had wellied a Rooney-less Everton 3-0 and it was easy . They expected much the same . However , this was a different , tighter , better motivated group of players . We got about them but played football too . As we know , Carsley , became , “ Super Lee Carsley “ by the end of the game as we beat them for the first time since Joe Royle . Moreover , if ANYONE wished to see the team spirit , all they needed to do was check the Piley-On , with Timmy , King of the Hill , with a smile as wide as the Sydney Harbour Bridge . Iconic Everton Image .Christmas came and went , as did new year , with us STILL in contention . I shouls like to highlight one performance this season in many boss performances , Aston Villa away , as Gravesen took the Madrid Peseta , Moyes acted fast and brought in a diminutive Spaniard called Arteta whom once played for Barcelona and Rangers . James Beattie had also came in from Southampton for £6m .
On the day I saw the most complete , effective , workmanlike still , but with options ALL OVER the Park, performance I had since Kendall . We were incredible . Scored 3 shoulda , honestly , been 13 . L.C.A.B. was on MOTD as Timmy runs along the track after his second goal , biting his badge and punching his chest before disappearing into a crowd of jubilant Blues . Its one of my Top 5 EVER Everton away-days Poss’ even Top 3 . No [Poor language removed] . Awesome , btw .
ANOTHER Anfield , No Show - except of course , Timothy ; did nothing to halt momentum , as even the SCEPTICAL ARSE Media , who’d laughed at us , HAD to take us serious as GENUINE Contenders for the Fourth Place ; and Champions League spot in the Premier League .
The Big Man pulled out one last , Hurrah , as the Mancs were beaten for the first time since Royle and we got our first glimpse of Asbo , Spitting - The - Dummy . The noise inside Goodison that night was AWESOME . Truly , honest to God , FRIGHTENING .
So was Everton Valley , but that’s for another day ,…
In the event , we secured 4th with a 2-0 home win over the Barcodes , as our little Convict became Everton Hero #1 , and despite a 7-0 coating as we bade farewell to Highbury , I went , again , we beat out the Bealzebub’s for 4th , as Evertonians partied like it was 1999 . Again . Once , again , Davie Boy collected his second L.M.A. Manager of the Year ward . The first Everton Boss to win 2 such awards .
2005 was a FINE , FINE Summer . England were triumphant in The Ashes and me an’ our George, and Mouser of this Borough , were there to see it . However , a small cloud on the horizon came in July with the much anticipated Champions League Draw as we drew the Spaniards , Villarreal . As Everton saw queues around the ground in a rush for tickets . However , just on the CL , a word for my life-long dear friend and one time Everton-Minder when I was a Scally Arse kid , Kenny McKenna whom in his role as TNS Manager , when questioned about the impending draw replied , on as to whether he fancied drawing Liverpool - WHOM HAD BEEN LET IN VIA AN UNPRECEDENTED RULE CHANGE AND COLDITZ-LIKE TUNNEL ;…
“ No . Tbh , I’d rather wait for the next round when THE BIG CLUBS , LIKE EVERTON COME IN ,…”
Stands , Applauds , BLOWS FUKN KISSES …
An Evertonian TILL THE DAY HE FUKN DIES .
A lesson in there somewhere …
We brought in , most controversially , Phil Neville from Manchester United , thankfully drafted Arteta permanently , Per Koldrup , for £5m , Simon Davies from Tottenham - a lifelong blue and the mercurial Andy Van Der Meyde . As it was Villareal came to Goodison the week before the season started , and with my favourite modern-day footballer , Juan Roman Riquelme imperious , and Forlan twice the player the Mancs saw , gave us a lesson at European football and won 2-1 . The following week , the season proper begun , with a 2-0 defeat to Asbo and the Mancs . It would be a foretaste of things to come .
A win at Bolton cheered us for the 2nd leg where in a decent second half performance we almost pulled it off . A second half Arteta goal , and a ludicrous , brown-envelope stenching disallowing of a late Duncan Ferguson header , which COULD , honestly have made a massive difference , effectively killed us . Nevertheless , we didn’t quite have enough . This team of Bent , Beattie didn’t even play , Pistone , Watson , Kilbane , ran the side whom went on to knock out the Mancs en route to the Semi Final of the competition ; VERY , VERY CLOSE .
Anyway , the Eufa Cup it was then , but first , back to the League .… As I said , Moyes’ Roller-Coaster thing was in FULL EFFECT . We lost , 2 weeks running , 1-0 , then off to Romania . Word here for my mucka , Bluefitzy of this Parish . ’Cause I’d spunked DOLLARS on the Ashes , but more ’cause I couldn’t leave me Nan , I was unable to join him , but nevertheless , HE trekked off to Bucharest to watch us take a hiding , 5-1 , and we were lucky to get one . It was Shell-Shock , time . It was no surprise , therefore , that a further 2 defeats ensued in the interim before the return fixture . Timmy would get us an unconvincing 1-0 , but futile win . Thus , out of Europe , after ALL THAT EFFORT , by September 29 . Devastated didn’t quite say it . Another two losses followed our exit , and now , with a Europe push already gone , it was getting serious . Goals , in short , were the problem . Bent was never going too be prolific , Beat’s just never quite worked out . Talking of not working , anyone , like L.C.A.B. , present at Villa , Boxing Day to witness Koldrup’s only 45 of Premier League Football in a Blue shirt , as Baros tormented him - whilst punching one in and buzzing off us for getting away with it , would agree ; WE GOT OFF LIGHTLY . Between the middle of November and Boxing Day , were suffered 3 separate 0-4 , defeats . 3 days later , the RS came and whooped us 1-3 . However , a glimpse of optimism waited until the last minute of the last game , on the last day of 2005 , as Timbo scored the only goal at Sunderland , and revealed his new Archie-Thompson-alike Corner-Flag routine . The Cup came and went with a pasting at Chelsea , but then a marked improvement in our fortunes . We won more games than we lost and drew most of the rest until yet another Anfield Arse-Kicking , as Timmy let them know this was PERSONAL . The most disappointing campaign in a decade petered out with a last day stalemate and a Theatrical Curtain Call for The Big Man , as , if they are anything like me , Blues of a certain age had a tear in their eye as he limped around , with his babies , blowing kisses to the stands . We ended up 11th , and Davie Boy scratched his head .
There was one other event of significance for Blues , as news of the untimely death of Brian Labone , of a Heart Attack on his way home from , of course , an Everton Function . The Club and the City turned out in force and done him proud , as we lost a True Goodison Legend .
Season 2006/07 saw , finally , a Forward as Crystal Palace front man , Andy Johnson signed in a new record transfer fee of £ 8 M . He was joined by an Elephant Headed , ungrateful Mufuka from Wolves , Joleon Lescott - a centre half , from Wolves for £4m . The American , Tim Howard replaced the much lamented Nigel Martyn as he too arrived from Manchester United , maintaining our strange though undoubtedly evolving relationship with that Country generally . Though , in truth , it was like , “ Hmmm..” Or wait and see , none of the Bolshy thing of 12 months earlier . We should have guessed as an opening day win , a draw , then our first win at Spurs since Lineker , and I saw both , before the Bealzebub’s came to Town .
To say that we enjoyed the “ Super Lee ..” Derby , would be nothing to how this one was received . With AJ literally buzzing ALL OVER their back line , and Timmy awesome once more against the [Poor language removed] - recall for a second his MONSTER head-lock on Alonso in the build up for the 2nd …. It was 2-0 at half-time though would be completed by the very finest icing ever seen on a cake , as AJ scored his second near the end and ran over to us at the Main Stand side of the Park End , with one hand raising 3 fingers , the other , his finger and thumb creating an , 0 shape . 3-0 against the [Poor language removed] . Everton Iconography , once more . Alas AJ’s best mate , Beat’s , had now fallen from favour and spent the first half of the season watching his buddy from the bench . We though , never really fired in the League , November saw us lose 4 times including a League Cup exit at home against Arsenal’s kids and ANOTHER 3-0 caning at Man Utd . The new year saw Manuel Fernandes come in on loan from Valencia and a defeat at the Council House , Blackburn spanked us 1-4 at home and out of the F.A. Cup , we did though , begin to pick up wins . Wigan , revenge over Blackburn and Watford all were vanquished . A corker of a last minute winner in the hailstones saw another three points against the Arse’ , as Wenger blamed the noise . Fulham , in our best performance of the second part of the season were also despatched .
On April 25th , attempting to put out a fire at his home in Warsash , Southampton , Alan Ball suffered a Heart Attack and died . Goodison saw another out-poring of grief to rival that of the Great Labone a year earlier . As fortune would have it , that very week , my illness decided to manifest itself - still undiagnosed at this point ; and I missed my first game at Goodison of any description in a very , very long time . To say I was devastated , is to say Mount Everest is a hill in Nepal . It was with tears in my eyes that I witnessed his children hugely impressed at the reception for their Peerless Father - I contented myself with having sent Leslie a large Bouquet a year or so earlier with the Postage money I enclosed for the container size box I sent him , which her Da’ , naturellement , returned un-opened .
In the game , despite racing to a 2 goal lead , Goalkeeper Turner , on Debut , literally dropped a clanger and United tightened their grip and went on to win 2-4 , as Asbo kissed their badge and , by disrespecting this Legend like that , made an enemy of one , L.C.A.B. until the end of time .
Me I managed to get to Winchester Cathedral the following Thursday for Bally’s Funeral . Sick as I was , it was the best decision I ever made .
We , confirmed an utterly , in August , unexpected European spot , as we finished in 6th place .
This time , we felt progress was tangible . Lescott had bedded down well . Neviille took to the arm-band like a natural , which of course he was . Johnson’s pace and mobility were both big successes .
2007/08 thus dawned with Blue’s , a la Kilroy , poking their heads from their burrows to give the RS stick . Moyes confirmed the signing of Jagielka , told to me in March by a Blade , the day Jags carried Timmy off the pitch with the game going on . Good signing , I was certain . Leighton Baines was also drafted for £5.65 M from Wigan Athletic .Moreover , Moyes somehow managed to prise £12.6 M from Lovey #1’s Tight-Arse Wallet for the purchase of Ayegbeni Yakubi . A German Keeper , Stefan Wessels also arrived , and the next Wonder Boy off the production line , Jackie Rodwell was added to the First Team Roster .
The campaign began well , with 3 wins from five , but it was in Kharkiv , Ukraine that we realy showed that the Class was learning . Going a goal behind away from home , after a tepid 1-1 at home , we proceeded to fight back from an early goal and in a 3-2 humdinger snatched it late on , as Victor came of age in Europe . So did our Manager . Nevertheless , two League defeats followed , including a further home defeat at the hands of the Lucifer XI, but the , bounce-back thing began to manifest itself , as we won the next 5 games , including a Eufa triumph over Larissa as Euro boxes continued to be ticked . At the end of November , as Davie Hickson suffered a pre-match heart scare , we utterly mullahd Sunderland , 7-1 .
On the opening day of December we drew nil’s each with Pompey , before again going on another 5 game winning run , including 2 Eufa ties . Davie brought in an Ex-Ajax player from Borussia Dortmund reserves , Steven Pienaar , but was seen as a diminutive temporary stop-gap
The early months of 2008 were not kind , as we set off to Italy for a last 16 Eufa game against Fiorentina . Alas , the tie saw a regrettable , basically , no-show performance , as we lost , 2-0 . However , the following Wednesday , Goodison would play host to her finest European night since Bayern Munich as we won 2-0 with an absolute screamer from El Vision De Oro . We lost the resultant shoot-out in heartbreaking fashion as Jags missed in sudden death . We also reached , and were defeated by Chelsea in a League Cup Semi-Final ; Our First such in 20 years .
Still , progress had without doubt been made . Our League form meandered its way to a conclusion without any really noteworthy wins . Nonetheless , David Moyes outdid the excellent showing of a year earlier by guiding the side into 5th place in the Premier League as he once again was voted L.M.A Manager of the Year .
The following summer saw the departure of AJ , to Fulham To be honest , though we shall NEVER forget THAT game , he was unable to maintain his debut season form the following season . Thus , Moyes again adopted the One-Up-Front policy an received an incredible £ 11 M . The big incoming transfer was the late purchase , for £15M , if you don’t mind , of some elongated , Belgian-Moroccan version of the Ted from Saved By The Bell ,…Pienaar having settled better than expected was also signed permanently . To say we never , hit-the-ground-running , is an understatement as by mid-October , we had been deposited out of Europe and beat caned by the RS at home . Again . Then came the annual Emirates loss , but a Felliani inspired point against the Mancs , preceded a 3 game winning run . We again went to Tottenham and won , but at a cost as Yak suffered a serious injury and would be out for a year . The following week saw Aston Villa commit the biggest case of Goodison Larceny since Asbo , as Ashley Young killed us in injury time . No matter , as the side began to manifest , in adversity , the magnificent team-spirit that the likes of Timmy , Nev’ and Jags were always on about , as Timmy yet again got the winner at Eastlands. Two games later we began a 4 game unbeaten run .
I struggled to get tickets for the Monday night Derby , I’d been sick , but as per , S rang me at 4 o’clock and said , “ There’s 1 there for you ,..” , I goes , and in the queue is one , Wing-Nut Jeffers , Cap pulled down , but in with the lads . Fair play . The game was a boss 1-1 with Timmy both having the finest header I have ever witnessed at Grey Skull , a Kop End bullet which Reina did amazing to stop , before , being Our Timmy , as time ticked away , dodged through those 2 shobgites Carragher and Skirtel and nodded Mikel’s cross into the Anny Rd goal . Thus , becoming Dixie Mk 2 . I went BERSERK !!!
Honest to God . I stayed behind , on me fukn chair giving it LARGE , ‘cause we’d scared them . They knew it , and knew we knew it . This was fortunate , as , as luck would have it , we were drawn to face them again on the Sunday in the F.A. Cup 4th round . With my Son , Nephew’s , Cousin , Brother-In-Law and Mates , I duly trekked the 500 yards or so to Grey Skull as battle recommenced . Sans Mikel we were boss . The Crowd inspiring , Timmy again superb alone up top . He created a goal for Jo Lescott , before Me La rifled his usual 30 yarder . Back to our gaff .
In what was wonderful night , we stood up tall , with heroes all over the park , primarily , Jags , as Young Dan Gosling announced himself to the World , with a late winner . Goodison erupted . From there , Villa were chastised in the Cup , as our League form was maintained while we drew Middlesborough at home for the chance of an F.A. Cup Semi-Final .
We duly brushed them aside , and for the first time in 14 years it was Wem-Ber-Ley …
I won’t go on too much about this , except to say , for those present of a certain age , it was their Bayern Munich . After a No-Show by both Asbo and Ronaldo , we hung on in a tight game for penalties . Timmy misses our first and wants to die . However , BOSS pens from Bainsey , Vaughany and Balls of Steel , Phillip Neville left Jags , with his Fiorentina Spectre , to do the job . Of course , he did , but if you ever see a picture of the players waiting at the half way line ; as Timmy , Vaughan , Jo Lescott and Hibbo race off to celebrate , there , behind them is one Leighton Baines , eyes closed , fists and arms pumped , head down .
It meant something . To ALL of us . Heartbreakingly , the week after , in an innocuous fall , Jags ruptured his cruciate ligament against Man City and was out for the Season . This , after both Arteta and Anichebe suffered similar long-term assaults in the same game at the Barcodes in February .
Thus , as we almost unnoticed secured our second successive 5th place finish in the League , David Moyes was the first to get measured for a mid-season new suit since Big Joe , and the first since HK Mk1 to need 2 , as we all headed back down the M6 / M1 .
The game itself , despite Saha’s amazing first minute strike it was boys against men in what was just , A Bridge too Far . Nevertheless , David Moyes and this squad of less than £5M buys had not only finished once more in a European spot by right , but also gave us 2 wonderful days out at Wembley , before our rivals got to view the place . Priceless . His name was sang loud and long . David Moyes collected his third L.M.A. Manager of the year award , and was, King , of the Goodison Hill .
The summer of 2009 , instead of euphoria , saw anger , as Jo Lescott , loving the lure of the
ly , decided to forgo the most exciting “ Project “ in the Premier League , choosing to join the Nouveau Riche Shitty .
Moyes was adamant he would remain , but following an opening day disaster at home to The Arse’ , 1-6 , he opted to take both the money and his chances , as we got an incredible £24M - 3 M less than Asbo !!! ; and Distin , Heitinga and a Russian , Bilyatdinov were brought in . Our next League game saw another defeat to new boys Burnley , as Saha missed a penalty . This domestic form would continue , as at Christmas , we were in the bottom 4 , and wondering whether this up / down thing would ever stop ?
From there , the team went on an incredible run . From December the 20th , we lost only 4 more games all season . Unfortunately , two of which were Sporting Lisbon , who in truth embarrassed us , and the RS
away . I recall taking my Nephew’s in Sharpy’s Mad Arse Van to Vanilla , in April . We were brilliant on the night with Timmy again imperious , as they once more hit us in the last minute to share the spoils . We ended up 8th , two spots out from a European place that we had no right to even dream of as Hogmanay arrived . The point was , The Team got it together . Granted , the infusion of Landon Donovan in wins over both Chelsea and United at home and the nearest we will come to an Emirates victory without actually getting one; certainly helped .
Again , we sang his name .
So , we come to the present campaign . As far as incomings , the most disappointing in a few years . The rumoured striker failed to materialise , as Moyes did recall the excellent Seamus Coleman - a magnificent coaching spot from the Irish League , but little else . It never begun well , and has gotten worse . Aside from wins over Birmingham away , Stoke , and our season highlight to date , a Yak inspired trouncing of perhaps the worst Liverpool team that I have ever seen , we have struggled . We currently stand again , in the bottom 5 , and Timmy is about to depart for 6 weeks . To say that I have a problem with Davie consistently picking an out-of-sorts Saha , would be understatement . I get it . However , I asked S particularly only this week ; “ Was their a specific beef with Yakubu ? “ . Answer ; NO . Thus , as I was also informed of other bits , I KNOW , FOR A FACT , that Ginger recognises our problems and , hands tied as they are , is looking to address them as best he can .
What he doesn’t need is being booed off at 0-0 half time against Wigan like Mike Fukn Walker .
I do not KNOW what will happen in the window . Nor that David Moyes will either improve our League Standing , nor , in truth , even be here after May . What I do know however , is , he HAS EARNED , SO MUCH MORE OLD FASHIONED FUKN LOYALTY than he is receiving at present , from people , with respect , with the memory banks of a goldfish .
In short , WE OWE HIM . BIG TIME .
I have been told by a person with very reputable Sources , NOT MY S , but decent , that he is OFF at Season’s end . I hear different . We shall see
Let‘s look at the options , for him ; Utd = Poisoned Chalice for next 2 Managers . Shitty = Den of Inquity with EVERYONE “ At the bollox “ . Chelski - Ditto . The Arse’ = Wenger will be C.E.O. till the day he dies . Vanilla , Barcodes ,.. Don’t make me larf .
Us ; Jol ,..? Not a chance . More likely David Jones or some other Blue-linked Chief . Unfortunately , the reason David Moyes hasn’t , “ Moved us on “ , this year is LACK OF FUNDS , thus , If Our Lord himself takes over , THERE WILL BE NO CHANGE , ’ CAUSE THERE’S NO FUKN MONEY !!! Moreover , the best side in a generation , Moyes players , will likely either do one or be traded by the new boss with his own ideas . Careful what you wish for , People .
Thing is , its like , Ya’ Ma’ . You might bitch like a Mufuka if she don’t get you exactly what you wanted for Christmas but if your Arl Fella tried to bring in a bird to replace her , you’d say …. “ Get the fuk !!! It’s ME MA’ !!! “
This “ Everton is a Marraige ,.. “ thing is a 2 WAY STREET . We , Fans / Supporters , whatever HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES AS WELL , an’ , NOT BEIN’ FUNNY BUT GINGER HAS EARNED A FUK OF A LOT BETTER TREATMENT from us , the self-appointed doyens of style , decency and supposed enlightened thinking on the game . BOLLOX !!! When it comes down to it , we can be just as Murdoch’ed Up as the Barcodes . FACT .
I therefore conclude by saying , he is far from perfect , has faults like anyone , but has been the Stand-Out Blue walking this Planet for the past 8 years , moreover has created the finest spirit in simply wearing the Everton shirt than for any time since we last won a trophy , and furthermore , WE OWE THIS MAN !!! So , instead of bitching , REMEMBER . In every single aspect of this Great Club , we are better because , and I DO mean DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF , David Moyes .
Shut the fuk up bitching , and do what you are supposed to do and SUPPORT . If you can’t do that , STAY THE FUK AT HOME , ‘CAUSE I CAN’T BE DOING WITH YOUS .
Neither can he . And HE DESERVES FAR , FAR BETTER .
Therefore , this Domingo , thank the Good Lord for the continued Patronage of David Moyes , Red Hair et al . The man who gave us Europe as a matter of course and if ANYONE deserved financial backing it is him . We are lucky to have him . Us ,
THE PEOPLE’S CLUB .
A bit of fukn respect here , People ….
Amen .
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Remember , Jesus loves you ‘ cause you’re a Blue .
Look after your Peoples .
Peace out .
The ( Catholic ) Reverand L.C.A.B.
( Oh , and to Cena is an Evertonian , whom , in 7 inches of snow himself , rang me today to see if I needed taking for Groceries … THIS IS WHAT I’M FUKN TALKING ABOUT . …
BETTER THAN THE FUKN REST …. SEMPRE .. )
Written in Britain .
The ORIGINAL L5CABarbizzzzlllle ,…
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Welcome , all to our little corner of the Sabbath .
Despite , as you will have noted , a , Special Request from that , Moyes Tour De Force , that is My Dear Mother , I had to think long and hard regarding the subject of today’s lesson .
See ??? While not everyone has liked , per se , the relative focuses of these Sermon’s , the subject has NOT actually caused a Kick -Off . Well , given some of the Threads begun on here , and elsewhere during the last few weeks , I did not want the lesson to be lost among the inevitable snarling .
But , know what ??? L.C.A.Barb IS RIGHT !!!
This man IS an Everton Legend , irrespective of blerts booing at 0-0 , half-time , or any number of konbheads , thus , I aim to continue , and hopefully do him justice as regards a half-decent Sermon . This lad , LITERALLY dragged us from the coldest , bleakest outposts of NOWHERESVILLE and took us , IF YOU DO NOT FUKN MIND , to the Top Table of European Football at the expense of the RS with , honest to Jesus , hardly anything at all . Moreover , has enjoyed the most European Football at Goodison since the ‘60’s .
Fair’s fair .
Ladies and Gentlemen , may I introduce , David Moyes .
The Ginger Fella was born on April 25 , 1963 , ( three months and 6 days before myself ) ; in Glasgow , Scotland - I LOOK YOUNGER - Honest !!!
He came from a Footy family . His Father , David Snr , - a Draughtsman , by trade , was Scout at local side , Drumchapel Amateurs - a team of some repute , incidentally , with numerous Scot’s Internationals among their Alma Mater . Via his connections therein , young David , a promising defender was given , and successfully passed , a trial and signed to the club in 1976 . He would play 4 years for Drumchapel , before being signed to a Professional Contract with , despite his heritage - his Cousin Dessie Hughes is Secretary at Coleraine Football Club ; Glasgow Celtic .
Never the greatest as regards ability went ; a Stopper , is I believe , the applicable term , Young David never really made the grade at Park-head , playing only 19 League games , and another 7 sundries - Yo’, McBillabong , Lid … ; before departing on a Free Transfer to Cambridge United , in October 1983 . Though it was , ostensibly , a backward step , pragmatist that he remains to this day , he rolled up his sleeves and made the best of it . He soon won them over , and in 2 years at the Club , played 79 League and 3 Cup Games for the U’s , before securing himself an Upwardly-Mobile move to Ashton Gate , as Bristol City signed Ginger for £10,000 on October 10 , 1985 . He would stay a further 2 seasons , playing 83 games , before , again in March , 1987 , the Robins accepted an offer from Shrewsbury Town of £30,000 . On the face of it , another retrograde decision , however , I understand that The Moyessiah played the best football of his English Career , at Moss Rose . He remained at the Spires for 3 years playing 91 League and 25 Cup games .
From there , he went back , “ Up the Road ,..” , to Dunfermline Athletic in August 1990-93 , playing 105 games for them . From there onto Hamilton Academicals , but was only really passing through , starting only 5 games in all . Hence , he was lured back South of the Border , to Deepdale ,Preston North End .
He would play 143 games for North End , scoring 14 goals , and was registered as a player from 1993-99 .
His last playing role in a career spanning 19 years and with 535 games and 46 goals for 7 different clubs .
He was ALWAYS going into Coaching , taking his first Badges at the tender age of 22 , and in the unfashionable time of the Mid - ‘80’s . Indeed , it was at Deepdale that he began to take on certain administrative duties . Gary Peters , then PNE Manager , made Davie an official member of the Coaching set-up , prior to him hanging up his boots , and with the departure of Peters , and at the age of 34 , the Directors turned to the Ginger one . Thus , he was on the Managerial Ladder at a relatively young age . He managed to stave off the immediate Spectre of relegation , and with the backing of the Club’s Heirachy , tinkered with the playing style incrementally , but over the longer term managed to change a long-ball team into a relatively , free-flowing outfit . Nevertheless , in his first full campaign , reached the Play-Offs , losing to Gillingham . From there , it was the , up-and-up . Preston would reach the First Division - ( Championship ) , in 2000 , Promoted as Champions , and to a level they had not reached in almost 20 years , and the following season missed out on the Premiership after a 3-0 defeat versus Bolton Wanderers ; as the Crimson - Coiffeured - Fella tasted genuine success for the first time . The same season , 1999-2000 , Preston were drawn against Everton at Goodison Park . They were unluckily defeated 2-0 with two late goals . Anyone present could not have failed to be impressed by both the performance of the side , and also it’s Ethos , via the Manager .His name also began to be bandies around Premier League Board Rooms . One of them being our own . However , he was offered , and turned down Manager’s roles at Manchester City , West Ham United and Southampton . Thus , after staying loyal probably 18 months too long , Kenwrong finally bit-the-bullet , and following a particularly hideous F.A. Cup hiding at Middlesborough relieved Walter Smith of the Manager‘s Chair .
The Everton Board approached David Moyes , apparently also recommended by Smith himself - fair play ; to be his replacement . Ginger took minutes to agree , shake hands , and face the Press .
Ah , facing the Press ….
So , in becoming the youngest Everton Manager , on Sunday 10 March , 2002 , since Howard Kendall Mk 1, young David faced his first media-scrum as Goodison Supremo ; his off-the-cuff response is now the stuff of Goodison Legend ;
“ I come from a City ( Glasgow ) , not unlike Liverpool . I am joining The People‘s Football Club .
The majority of the people you meet on the street are Everton fans ….”
Enough , I believe , said , an’ NOT FUKN BAD for your FIRST DAY’;S WORK .
His first day at Bellefield was met with the usual Captain’s Greeting , but also a , Spit-The-Dummy Spat , as Fat Boy Gascoigne disrespected the Club that tried to pull him from the gutter , AND FANS THAT NEVER CALLED THE PAPERS , BUT RATHER FIRED HIM INTO A TAXI WHEN HE FELL OUT OF VARIOUS LOCAL HOSTELERIES .
Moyes merely said , “ Tara …“
On the Saturday , came his Goodison debut . Our opponents were Fulham - our erstwhile enemies , and apart from the RS , our Primary Sending Off Opponents of recent years , AND containing one , “ King “ Ahem , Louis Saha . As we all know , Moylesey would exhibit his general skill for getting out of jail , as we scored within 42 seconds , Undies , at the Park End , going on to win 2-1 . Nevertheless , our new boss was greeted as vociferously at the end of the game as he was pre-match . It was positive . The squad , however , was NOT the best . Ageing also-rans , with the odd decent player , Weir , Campbell , Ferguson , when fit , etc . He saw something to work with ,…
LITTLE DID HE FUKN KNOW ..!!!
The following week , we all trekked off to Derby and , in a bizarre game , we somehow won 4-3 and Ginger REALLY WAS off and running . The week after , however , we were brought back down to earth with a bump with our perennial hiding at the Barcodes , this time replete with Shearer’s Wonder-Goal ,..
Oh , FUK ,… We went on to beat Blackburn at home and Southampton away , and despite a last day defeat at Arsenal , 3-4 , we were safe . So , mission accomplished , and the summer was for the Squad ….
The scorers in the first few games of Moyes’ tenure spoke volumes as regards the squad . Among the Ferguson’s and Unsworth’s , there was Radszinski , Alexanderson , and Chadwick , whom , with the greatest of respect to all - and they were not alone ; they were not of sufficient standard for Everton’ First Team , thank you VERY FUKN MUCH !!! Our new Manager recognised this , and incrementally , and with little financial assistance , given the league we play in , Gascoigne , Blomqvist , , others too , all inherited , all WEST.
One significant thing from the previous campaign , just before the end of the season , The Old Lady played host to some 20,000 for the F.A. Cup Youth Cup Semi Final , First Leg . The reason we were all there ???
2 words ; Wayne Rooney . Now , the shy , reluctant type that I am , you did not have to be L.C.A.B. to know ALL about this kid . All you had to do was live within 50 miles of Merseyside . Anyway , the boy more than lived up to his Rep’. What’s more , he was all but a man , physically , thus Mrs . Moyes having raised no fools , got the kid in with the First Team Proper as the new season began , He brilliantly told the Big Man to Mentor him . Genius , btw . His Hero . Q.E.D.
So , with Asbo up his Poker-Playing sleeve , he went out and , first , bought a much needed goalkeeper , and chose England Under 21 Keeper , Richard Wright from Arsenal for £2m . He then purchased , to EVERYONE’S surprise , Li Tie and Li Weifong , the first two players from the People’s Republic of China to play in English Football , also the Brazilian , ( Juliano ) Rodrigo .
As for the season itself , our first 2 home games were draws , two away defeats at City and Birmingham , a win over Middlesborough then another against Fulham , and it was off to Wrexham in the League Cup ,…
Anyone lucky enough to be there that night , as me and my good mucka , C , were , saw one of those , once--in-a-fukn-long-time nights as Wonder Boy ran the Journeymen ragged . The THING , was OUR PLAYERS MOUTHS HANGING OPEN . I swear that every Evertonian left the ground dreaming of the European Cup . The OTHER thing , was the return of optimism . Hope . Pure unadulterated Everton-Hope .
If you could bottle it ,it’d be the next Crack Cocaine .
Our perennial Old Trafford hiding , then it was back to Goodison for the home debut of young Asbo against Seaman and Arsenal .
Again , I don’t have meself , yous know that , but there’s a photo , printed in the Evertonian over-and-over whilst he played for us . It shows a section of the Park End , JUST as the ball is about to hit the back of the net . There , just off centre , is one , L5CABizzzzzlllle . Arms raised , Mouth open in an , “ O “ - what I actually said was , “ What a fukn gOal …!!! “
Oracle , see ???
A week later he scored the Winner at Leeds - which we DID NOT DO OFTEN …
Anyway , and back to the hope thing , we needed to pinch ourselves that not 12 fukn months ago we were subject to the torture that were the last days of Walter - Eh , DK ???; …TO THIS !!!
Still , we had Gemmill and Watson , Pistone . At Christmas , he secured the signature of Joseph Yobo from Marseilles , initially - typically Ginger , on a year-long loan . Also , archetypal Moyles , Brian McBride , his First raid into the burgeoning U.S. Market . Despite too many draws second half of the campaign , we went on , MIRACULOUSLY , let’s have it right , to finish 7th , missing out on Europe only at The Death , as , Why The Long Face ??? … Nistelrooy killed us . With what he had to work with , it was certainly noteworthy . EVERYONE thought so . So much so , that he was awarded the League Manager’s Association , Manager of the Year . Again , the first since Kendall to win such an award whilst Everton Manager .
Impressive , tbh ,..
2003/4 thus began with the greatest feeling of general optimism seen at Everton since Joe Royle’s 1995/96 . Out went Gemmill , Pembers , though , Watson , Pistone remained . He DID however , have plans for the work-a-day , Lee Carsley that NO-ONE could’ve foreseen . Through the , “ In “ Door came , Nyarko , McFadden , Stubbs , and , Thank the Good Lord , Nigel Martyn on a FREE TRANSFER from Leeds United . Wing-Nut Jeffers , sorry for his previous transgressions also returned on loan . Another point of note ; this summer also saw the first instalment of Davie’s , I WANT SEAN DAVIS , bid , via the media , Part 1 . Unsuccessful , as we know , but no less vehement for that .
Thus , All Systems Go , one would think . However , US being US , and Moyles in truth , suffering the first of a short series of Rollercoaster - up one year , down the next , campaigns ., we started well enough with the optimism over-spill leaking well into September , as both Fulham , and Leeds , via a Steve Watson Hat-Trick - Yes , I DID just write those words ; were easily despatched . The Autumn though , was not kind to us . Again , draws , but also defeats at Chelsea , Spurs and Bolton , saw us drop from contention . A brilliantly spirited 2-3 defeat at Old Trafford though - Rooney’s tackle on Ronaldo anyone ??? ; gave a glimpse of what the future COULD be like , but nevertheless , another defeat . We did beat Birmingham at home , Norwich in the Cup , and a creditable draw against The Arse’ , before two League losses against Charlton and Fulham , pre - we all piled into Coaches , paid for by our Kind-Hearted Chairman to attend Loftus Road , QPR and face Fulham in an F. A. Cup 4th round replay . In the event , they were better on the night , as - OXYMORON ALERT , Ner-Ner , Ner-Ner …; Saha was too good for us . Point was ,
the ,..two-steps-back , thing was all too clear . There WERE decent days , even then ; The ; Rooney’s Gonna Get Ya’ , 0-0 , Anfield Derby , the 3-4 Home Man Utd game , 3-0 down at half-time . However losing 6 of the last eight games , cost us dearly as we plummeted down the table , eventually finishing 17th , one place - and , admittedly , 6 points ; clear of ( Relegated ) Leicester City . It WAS NOT what we had been expecting , and some among us had the beginnings of a “ Cob-On “ .
Little did they know ….
Thus , Blues went off on Holiday , or not , we once more sent England’s Centre Forward to a Major Championships , as Wonder Geraphile went off to Portugal for the Euro’s .
The fact I knew he was gonna pull up trees and thus took my next year’s season ticket off’ve Stanley’s ., County Road , gave me no pleasure whatsoever , as Asbo did precisely what the fledgling L.C.A.B. predicted - Quelle Surprise ??? ; and would have taken the Top Tournament Scorer outright should he not have broken a metatarsal . He was interviewed by the World’s media , but at NO TIME , mentioned Everton Football Club , his status as Everton’s Highest Paid Teenage Player of all time , nor , interestingly enough , “ Once a Blue , ALWAYS a Blue …” . Again , Quelle Surprise . Thus , the Oracle of L5 was not amazingly gob-smacked when SERIOUS transfer rumours began to break with the return of the defeated Lions . Just in case anyone had forgotten , Little Mister , “ I uny ever wanted to play for Everton ,.. No , wait there , Man Utd , I mean … “ , WAS ACTUALLY half way to fukn Newcastle - IF , of course , you either had just landed from Mars , OR believed his toe-rag Agent . Moreover , the heirachy of Everton FC , after stating to anyone whom would listen that they would not do PRECISELY that , with not only THE FINEST young player in Europe , Messi was STILL bit-part then , and the Olympics IS NOT the European Championships - and probably the BEST player in the recent competition ; proceeded to take down their trousers and assumed the position as we were subject to the worst case of Public Larceny in Walton that year , as He went to a sniggering Man Utd , for £27 million pounds - in fact , £ 20.7 million pounds - as “ Working “ Grandmother’s all over Merseyside shed a brief tear ; , with add on’s , SHOULD an ageing side manage to win ALL domestic trophies PLUS Big Ears - as it is , they did , but WE WEREN’T TO KNOW THAT AN’ IT SHOULD’VE BEEN THE ICING , NOT THE FUKN CAKE , SOFT ARSE !!!
Anyway ; QUELLE FUKN SURPRISE ; TO ALL OF IT .
Meanwhile , Ginger , having held , The Keys To The Castle , had suddenly lost THE talent in English Football , and had 2 strikers nearing or over 30 , BOTH with injury records , one of which would play only 4 games more for the club . THIS , despite the other changes / improvements he HAD INTENDED to make . Anyway , this was what we had . He raised more than eyebrows in our house , for example , though when signing Journeyman , no-mark , from my perspective , as Marcus Bent came in from Leicester . Hardly a marquee signing , I think we all concurred .
Arsenal came , opening day and gave our annual hiding . No matter , myself and Brother-In-Law , John , trek off to Palace the following week . Glad I did , it was boss . We won 3-1 as Gravesen grabbed 2 , but Bent was the star of the show , as “ Super Kev’ “, played his final game for us . I was arrested on the way home - the last such occasion ; and thus spent the return journey incarcerated on the train . During that time , I heard much laughter and derision , but also , that Everton had just signed Tim Cahill - another whom had won me a NICE few quid over the previous 18 months - delighted . The other one was that we’d made a bid for Carragher and he was UP FOR IT . As things turned out , he regained his place the following week - having been swerved by Pheonix Club all pre-season and first 2 games , and the rest , as they say …. Hmmmm…
I can’t rightly recall why , but Timmy would miss the home win over WBA , I took the kids to see him making his debut at Old Trafford in an excellent showing and our first point there since Speed should’ve won it for us in ‘95 ; then onto the Council House , as once again with
B-Izzzzzzzlllle in attendance - this time with my Brother , Blackburn Dave . Timmy was of course , Timmy and duly scored the only goal , but took off his shirt in celebration and was dismissed . Nonetheless , he was The BOLLOX , that much was clear , and what with Yobo , Martyn , Gravesen , even Bent was turning up - NOT prolific at all , but keen as mustard and would run all day . Maybe this Fella DID know a thing or two about this transfer lark ???
After City , came ‘Boro - won . Went to Pompey ; Timmy - won . A defeat at Spurs , then , Soton - won . Next week , Norwich away . Won 3-2 in another boss away day . Chelsea beat us and Arsenal kicked us out the League Cup , but in the Premier League , we had it going on . We went to Birmingham and Tommy won it with a pen’ , before the RS came to town . Last year they had wellied a Rooney-less Everton 3-0 and it was easy . They expected much the same . However , this was a different , tighter , better motivated group of players . We got about them but played football too . As we know , Carsley , became , “ Super Lee Carsley “ by the end of the game as we beat them for the first time since Joe Royle . Moreover , if ANYONE wished to see the team spirit , all they needed to do was check the Piley-On , with Timmy , King of the Hill , with a smile as wide as the Sydney Harbour Bridge . Iconic Everton Image .Christmas came and went , as did new year , with us STILL in contention . I shouls like to highlight one performance this season in many boss performances , Aston Villa away , as Gravesen took the Madrid Peseta , Moyes acted fast and brought in a diminutive Spaniard called Arteta whom once played for Barcelona and Rangers . James Beattie had also came in from Southampton for £6m .
On the day I saw the most complete , effective , workmanlike still , but with options ALL OVER the Park, performance I had since Kendall . We were incredible . Scored 3 shoulda , honestly , been 13 . L.C.A.B. was on MOTD as Timmy runs along the track after his second goal , biting his badge and punching his chest before disappearing into a crowd of jubilant Blues . Its one of my Top 5 EVER Everton away-days Poss’ even Top 3 . No [Poor language removed] . Awesome , btw .
ANOTHER Anfield , No Show - except of course , Timothy ; did nothing to halt momentum , as even the SCEPTICAL ARSE Media , who’d laughed at us , HAD to take us serious as GENUINE Contenders for the Fourth Place ; and Champions League spot in the Premier League .
The Big Man pulled out one last , Hurrah , as the Mancs were beaten for the first time since Royle and we got our first glimpse of Asbo , Spitting - The - Dummy . The noise inside Goodison that night was AWESOME . Truly , honest to God , FRIGHTENING .
So was Everton Valley , but that’s for another day ,…
In the event , we secured 4th with a 2-0 home win over the Barcodes , as our little Convict became Everton Hero #1 , and despite a 7-0 coating as we bade farewell to Highbury , I went , again , we beat out the Bealzebub’s for 4th , as Evertonians partied like it was 1999 . Again . Once , again , Davie Boy collected his second L.M.A. Manager of the Year ward . The first Everton Boss to win 2 such awards .
2005 was a FINE , FINE Summer . England were triumphant in The Ashes and me an’ our George, and Mouser of this Borough , were there to see it . However , a small cloud on the horizon came in July with the much anticipated Champions League Draw as we drew the Spaniards , Villarreal . As Everton saw queues around the ground in a rush for tickets . However , just on the CL , a word for my life-long dear friend and one time Everton-Minder when I was a Scally Arse kid , Kenny McKenna whom in his role as TNS Manager , when questioned about the impending draw replied , on as to whether he fancied drawing Liverpool - WHOM HAD BEEN LET IN VIA AN UNPRECEDENTED RULE CHANGE AND COLDITZ-LIKE TUNNEL ;…
“ No . Tbh , I’d rather wait for the next round when THE BIG CLUBS , LIKE EVERTON COME IN ,…”
Stands , Applauds , BLOWS FUKN KISSES …
An Evertonian TILL THE DAY HE FUKN DIES .
A lesson in there somewhere …
We brought in , most controversially , Phil Neville from Manchester United , thankfully drafted Arteta permanently , Per Koldrup , for £5m , Simon Davies from Tottenham - a lifelong blue and the mercurial Andy Van Der Meyde . As it was Villareal came to Goodison the week before the season started , and with my favourite modern-day footballer , Juan Roman Riquelme imperious , and Forlan twice the player the Mancs saw , gave us a lesson at European football and won 2-1 . The following week , the season proper begun , with a 2-0 defeat to Asbo and the Mancs . It would be a foretaste of things to come .
A win at Bolton cheered us for the 2nd leg where in a decent second half performance we almost pulled it off . A second half Arteta goal , and a ludicrous , brown-envelope stenching disallowing of a late Duncan Ferguson header , which COULD , honestly have made a massive difference , effectively killed us . Nevertheless , we didn’t quite have enough . This team of Bent , Beattie didn’t even play , Pistone , Watson , Kilbane , ran the side whom went on to knock out the Mancs en route to the Semi Final of the competition ; VERY , VERY CLOSE .
Anyway , the Eufa Cup it was then , but first , back to the League .… As I said , Moyes’ Roller-Coaster thing was in FULL EFFECT . We lost , 2 weeks running , 1-0 , then off to Romania . Word here for my mucka , Bluefitzy of this Parish . ’Cause I’d spunked DOLLARS on the Ashes , but more ’cause I couldn’t leave me Nan , I was unable to join him , but nevertheless , HE trekked off to Bucharest to watch us take a hiding , 5-1 , and we were lucky to get one . It was Shell-Shock , time . It was no surprise , therefore , that a further 2 defeats ensued in the interim before the return fixture . Timmy would get us an unconvincing 1-0 , but futile win . Thus , out of Europe , after ALL THAT EFFORT , by September 29 . Devastated didn’t quite say it . Another two losses followed our exit , and now , with a Europe push already gone , it was getting serious . Goals , in short , were the problem . Bent was never going too be prolific , Beat’s just never quite worked out . Talking of not working , anyone , like L.C.A.B. , present at Villa , Boxing Day to witness Koldrup’s only 45 of Premier League Football in a Blue shirt , as Baros tormented him - whilst punching one in and buzzing off us for getting away with it , would agree ; WE GOT OFF LIGHTLY . Between the middle of November and Boxing Day , were suffered 3 separate 0-4 , defeats . 3 days later , the RS came and whooped us 1-3 . However , a glimpse of optimism waited until the last minute of the last game , on the last day of 2005 , as Timbo scored the only goal at Sunderland , and revealed his new Archie-Thompson-alike Corner-Flag routine . The Cup came and went with a pasting at Chelsea , but then a marked improvement in our fortunes . We won more games than we lost and drew most of the rest until yet another Anfield Arse-Kicking , as Timmy let them know this was PERSONAL . The most disappointing campaign in a decade petered out with a last day stalemate and a Theatrical Curtain Call for The Big Man , as , if they are anything like me , Blues of a certain age had a tear in their eye as he limped around , with his babies , blowing kisses to the stands . We ended up 11th , and Davie Boy scratched his head .
There was one other event of significance for Blues , as news of the untimely death of Brian Labone , of a Heart Attack on his way home from , of course , an Everton Function . The Club and the City turned out in force and done him proud , as we lost a True Goodison Legend .
Season 2006/07 saw , finally , a Forward as Crystal Palace front man , Andy Johnson signed in a new record transfer fee of £ 8 M . He was joined by an Elephant Headed , ungrateful Mufuka from Wolves , Joleon Lescott - a centre half , from Wolves for £4m . The American , Tim Howard replaced the much lamented Nigel Martyn as he too arrived from Manchester United , maintaining our strange though undoubtedly evolving relationship with that Country generally . Though , in truth , it was like , “ Hmmm..” Or wait and see , none of the Bolshy thing of 12 months earlier . We should have guessed as an opening day win , a draw , then our first win at Spurs since Lineker , and I saw both , before the Bealzebub’s came to Town .
To say that we enjoyed the “ Super Lee ..” Derby , would be nothing to how this one was received . With AJ literally buzzing ALL OVER their back line , and Timmy awesome once more against the [Poor language removed] - recall for a second his MONSTER head-lock on Alonso in the build up for the 2nd …. It was 2-0 at half-time though would be completed by the very finest icing ever seen on a cake , as AJ scored his second near the end and ran over to us at the Main Stand side of the Park End , with one hand raising 3 fingers , the other , his finger and thumb creating an , 0 shape . 3-0 against the [Poor language removed] . Everton Iconography , once more . Alas AJ’s best mate , Beat’s , had now fallen from favour and spent the first half of the season watching his buddy from the bench . We though , never really fired in the League , November saw us lose 4 times including a League Cup exit at home against Arsenal’s kids and ANOTHER 3-0 caning at Man Utd . The new year saw Manuel Fernandes come in on loan from Valencia and a defeat at the Council House , Blackburn spanked us 1-4 at home and out of the F.A. Cup , we did though , begin to pick up wins . Wigan , revenge over Blackburn and Watford all were vanquished . A corker of a last minute winner in the hailstones saw another three points against the Arse’ , as Wenger blamed the noise . Fulham , in our best performance of the second part of the season were also despatched .
On April 25th , attempting to put out a fire at his home in Warsash , Southampton , Alan Ball suffered a Heart Attack and died . Goodison saw another out-poring of grief to rival that of the Great Labone a year earlier . As fortune would have it , that very week , my illness decided to manifest itself - still undiagnosed at this point ; and I missed my first game at Goodison of any description in a very , very long time . To say I was devastated , is to say Mount Everest is a hill in Nepal . It was with tears in my eyes that I witnessed his children hugely impressed at the reception for their Peerless Father - I contented myself with having sent Leslie a large Bouquet a year or so earlier with the Postage money I enclosed for the container size box I sent him , which her Da’ , naturellement , returned un-opened .
In the game , despite racing to a 2 goal lead , Goalkeeper Turner , on Debut , literally dropped a clanger and United tightened their grip and went on to win 2-4 , as Asbo kissed their badge and , by disrespecting this Legend like that , made an enemy of one , L.C.A.B. until the end of time .
Me I managed to get to Winchester Cathedral the following Thursday for Bally’s Funeral . Sick as I was , it was the best decision I ever made .
We , confirmed an utterly , in August , unexpected European spot , as we finished in 6th place .
This time , we felt progress was tangible . Lescott had bedded down well . Neviille took to the arm-band like a natural , which of course he was . Johnson’s pace and mobility were both big successes .
2007/08 thus dawned with Blue’s , a la Kilroy , poking their heads from their burrows to give the RS stick . Moyes confirmed the signing of Jagielka , told to me in March by a Blade , the day Jags carried Timmy off the pitch with the game going on . Good signing , I was certain . Leighton Baines was also drafted for £5.65 M from Wigan Athletic .Moreover , Moyes somehow managed to prise £12.6 M from Lovey #1’s Tight-Arse Wallet for the purchase of Ayegbeni Yakubi . A German Keeper , Stefan Wessels also arrived , and the next Wonder Boy off the production line , Jackie Rodwell was added to the First Team Roster .
The campaign began well , with 3 wins from five , but it was in Kharkiv , Ukraine that we realy showed that the Class was learning . Going a goal behind away from home , after a tepid 1-1 at home , we proceeded to fight back from an early goal and in a 3-2 humdinger snatched it late on , as Victor came of age in Europe . So did our Manager . Nevertheless , two League defeats followed , including a further home defeat at the hands of the Lucifer XI, but the , bounce-back thing began to manifest itself , as we won the next 5 games , including a Eufa triumph over Larissa as Euro boxes continued to be ticked . At the end of November , as Davie Hickson suffered a pre-match heart scare , we utterly mullahd Sunderland , 7-1 .
On the opening day of December we drew nil’s each with Pompey , before again going on another 5 game winning run , including 2 Eufa ties . Davie brought in an Ex-Ajax player from Borussia Dortmund reserves , Steven Pienaar , but was seen as a diminutive temporary stop-gap
The early months of 2008 were not kind , as we set off to Italy for a last 16 Eufa game against Fiorentina . Alas , the tie saw a regrettable , basically , no-show performance , as we lost , 2-0 . However , the following Wednesday , Goodison would play host to her finest European night since Bayern Munich as we won 2-0 with an absolute screamer from El Vision De Oro . We lost the resultant shoot-out in heartbreaking fashion as Jags missed in sudden death . We also reached , and were defeated by Chelsea in a League Cup Semi-Final ; Our First such in 20 years .
Still , progress had without doubt been made . Our League form meandered its way to a conclusion without any really noteworthy wins . Nonetheless , David Moyes outdid the excellent showing of a year earlier by guiding the side into 5th place in the Premier League as he once again was voted L.M.A Manager of the Year .
The following summer saw the departure of AJ , to Fulham To be honest , though we shall NEVER forget THAT game , he was unable to maintain his debut season form the following season . Thus , Moyes again adopted the One-Up-Front policy an received an incredible £ 11 M . The big incoming transfer was the late purchase , for £15M , if you don’t mind , of some elongated , Belgian-Moroccan version of the Ted from Saved By The Bell ,…Pienaar having settled better than expected was also signed permanently . To say we never , hit-the-ground-running , is an understatement as by mid-October , we had been deposited out of Europe and beat caned by the RS at home . Again . Then came the annual Emirates loss , but a Felliani inspired point against the Mancs , preceded a 3 game winning run . We again went to Tottenham and won , but at a cost as Yak suffered a serious injury and would be out for a year . The following week saw Aston Villa commit the biggest case of Goodison Larceny since Asbo , as Ashley Young killed us in injury time . No matter , as the side began to manifest , in adversity , the magnificent team-spirit that the likes of Timmy , Nev’ and Jags were always on about , as Timmy yet again got the winner at Eastlands. Two games later we began a 4 game unbeaten run .
I struggled to get tickets for the Monday night Derby , I’d been sick , but as per , S rang me at 4 o’clock and said , “ There’s 1 there for you ,..” , I goes , and in the queue is one , Wing-Nut Jeffers , Cap pulled down , but in with the lads . Fair play . The game was a boss 1-1 with Timmy both having the finest header I have ever witnessed at Grey Skull , a Kop End bullet which Reina did amazing to stop , before , being Our Timmy , as time ticked away , dodged through those 2 shobgites Carragher and Skirtel and nodded Mikel’s cross into the Anny Rd goal . Thus , becoming Dixie Mk 2 . I went BERSERK !!!
Honest to God . I stayed behind , on me fukn chair giving it LARGE , ‘cause we’d scared them . They knew it , and knew we knew it . This was fortunate , as , as luck would have it , we were drawn to face them again on the Sunday in the F.A. Cup 4th round . With my Son , Nephew’s , Cousin , Brother-In-Law and Mates , I duly trekked the 500 yards or so to Grey Skull as battle recommenced . Sans Mikel we were boss . The Crowd inspiring , Timmy again superb alone up top . He created a goal for Jo Lescott , before Me La rifled his usual 30 yarder . Back to our gaff .
In what was wonderful night , we stood up tall , with heroes all over the park , primarily , Jags , as Young Dan Gosling announced himself to the World , with a late winner . Goodison erupted . From there , Villa were chastised in the Cup , as our League form was maintained while we drew Middlesborough at home for the chance of an F.A. Cup Semi-Final .
We duly brushed them aside , and for the first time in 14 years it was Wem-Ber-Ley …
I won’t go on too much about this , except to say , for those present of a certain age , it was their Bayern Munich . After a No-Show by both Asbo and Ronaldo , we hung on in a tight game for penalties . Timmy misses our first and wants to die . However , BOSS pens from Bainsey , Vaughany and Balls of Steel , Phillip Neville left Jags , with his Fiorentina Spectre , to do the job . Of course , he did , but if you ever see a picture of the players waiting at the half way line ; as Timmy , Vaughan , Jo Lescott and Hibbo race off to celebrate , there , behind them is one Leighton Baines , eyes closed , fists and arms pumped , head down .
It meant something . To ALL of us . Heartbreakingly , the week after , in an innocuous fall , Jags ruptured his cruciate ligament against Man City and was out for the Season . This , after both Arteta and Anichebe suffered similar long-term assaults in the same game at the Barcodes in February .
Thus , as we almost unnoticed secured our second successive 5th place finish in the League , David Moyes was the first to get measured for a mid-season new suit since Big Joe , and the first since HK Mk1 to need 2 , as we all headed back down the M6 / M1 .
The game itself , despite Saha’s amazing first minute strike it was boys against men in what was just , A Bridge too Far . Nevertheless , David Moyes and this squad of less than £5M buys had not only finished once more in a European spot by right , but also gave us 2 wonderful days out at Wembley , before our rivals got to view the place . Priceless . His name was sang loud and long . David Moyes collected his third L.M.A. Manager of the year award , and was, King , of the Goodison Hill .
The summer of 2009 , instead of euphoria , saw anger , as Jo Lescott , loving the lure of the
ly , decided to forgo the most exciting “ Project “ in the Premier League , choosing to join the Nouveau Riche Shitty . Moyes was adamant he would remain , but following an opening day disaster at home to The Arse’ , 1-6 , he opted to take both the money and his chances , as we got an incredible £24M - 3 M less than Asbo !!! ; and Distin , Heitinga and a Russian , Bilyatdinov were brought in . Our next League game saw another defeat to new boys Burnley , as Saha missed a penalty . This domestic form would continue , as at Christmas , we were in the bottom 4 , and wondering whether this up / down thing would ever stop ?
From there , the team went on an incredible run . From December the 20th , we lost only 4 more games all season . Unfortunately , two of which were Sporting Lisbon , who in truth embarrassed us , and the RS
away . I recall taking my Nephew’s in Sharpy’s Mad Arse Van to Vanilla , in April . We were brilliant on the night with Timmy again imperious , as they once more hit us in the last minute to share the spoils . We ended up 8th , two spots out from a European place that we had no right to even dream of as Hogmanay arrived . The point was , The Team got it together . Granted , the infusion of Landon Donovan in wins over both Chelsea and United at home and the nearest we will come to an Emirates victory without actually getting one; certainly helped .
Again , we sang his name .
So , we come to the present campaign . As far as incomings , the most disappointing in a few years . The rumoured striker failed to materialise , as Moyes did recall the excellent Seamus Coleman - a magnificent coaching spot from the Irish League , but little else . It never begun well , and has gotten worse . Aside from wins over Birmingham away , Stoke , and our season highlight to date , a Yak inspired trouncing of perhaps the worst Liverpool team that I have ever seen , we have struggled . We currently stand again , in the bottom 5 , and Timmy is about to depart for 6 weeks . To say that I have a problem with Davie consistently picking an out-of-sorts Saha , would be understatement . I get it . However , I asked S particularly only this week ; “ Was their a specific beef with Yakubu ? “ . Answer ; NO . Thus , as I was also informed of other bits , I KNOW , FOR A FACT , that Ginger recognises our problems and , hands tied as they are , is looking to address them as best he can .
What he doesn’t need is being booed off at 0-0 half time against Wigan like Mike Fukn Walker .
I do not KNOW what will happen in the window . Nor that David Moyes will either improve our League Standing , nor , in truth , even be here after May . What I do know however , is , he HAS EARNED , SO MUCH MORE OLD FASHIONED FUKN LOYALTY than he is receiving at present , from people , with respect , with the memory banks of a goldfish .
In short , WE OWE HIM . BIG TIME .
I have been told by a person with very reputable Sources , NOT MY S , but decent , that he is OFF at Season’s end . I hear different . We shall see
Let‘s look at the options , for him ; Utd = Poisoned Chalice for next 2 Managers . Shitty = Den of Inquity with EVERYONE “ At the bollox “ . Chelski - Ditto . The Arse’ = Wenger will be C.E.O. till the day he dies . Vanilla , Barcodes ,.. Don’t make me larf .
Us ; Jol ,..? Not a chance . More likely David Jones or some other Blue-linked Chief . Unfortunately , the reason David Moyes hasn’t , “ Moved us on “ , this year is LACK OF FUNDS , thus , If Our Lord himself takes over , THERE WILL BE NO CHANGE , ’ CAUSE THERE’S NO FUKN MONEY !!! Moreover , the best side in a generation , Moyes players , will likely either do one or be traded by the new boss with his own ideas . Careful what you wish for , People .
Thing is , its like , Ya’ Ma’ . You might bitch like a Mufuka if she don’t get you exactly what you wanted for Christmas but if your Arl Fella tried to bring in a bird to replace her , you’d say …. “ Get the fuk !!! It’s ME MA’ !!! “
This “ Everton is a Marraige ,.. “ thing is a 2 WAY STREET . We , Fans / Supporters , whatever HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES AS WELL , an’ , NOT BEIN’ FUNNY BUT GINGER HAS EARNED A FUK OF A LOT BETTER TREATMENT from us , the self-appointed doyens of style , decency and supposed enlightened thinking on the game . BOLLOX !!! When it comes down to it , we can be just as Murdoch’ed Up as the Barcodes . FACT .
I therefore conclude by saying , he is far from perfect , has faults like anyone , but has been the Stand-Out Blue walking this Planet for the past 8 years , moreover has created the finest spirit in simply wearing the Everton shirt than for any time since we last won a trophy , and furthermore , WE OWE THIS MAN !!! So , instead of bitching , REMEMBER . In every single aspect of this Great Club , we are better because , and I DO mean DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF , David Moyes .
Shut the fuk up bitching , and do what you are supposed to do and SUPPORT . If you can’t do that , STAY THE FUK AT HOME , ‘CAUSE I CAN’T BE DOING WITH YOUS .
Neither can he . And HE DESERVES FAR , FAR BETTER .
Therefore , this Domingo , thank the Good Lord for the continued Patronage of David Moyes , Red Hair et al . The man who gave us Europe as a matter of course and if ANYONE deserved financial backing it is him . We are lucky to have him . Us ,
THE PEOPLE’S CLUB .
A bit of fukn respect here , People ….
Amen .
May the Good Lord be with you all .
Remember , Jesus loves you ‘ cause you’re a Blue .
Look after your Peoples .
Peace out .
The ( Catholic ) Reverand L.C.A.B.
( Oh , and to Cena is an Evertonian , whom , in 7 inches of snow himself , rang me today to see if I needed taking for Groceries … THIS IS WHAT I’M FUKN TALKING ABOUT . …
BETTER THAN THE FUKN REST …. SEMPRE .. )
Written in Britain .
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