Things that will happen before we announce new players...

[ToffeeTim]

Delph will regain full fitness

 

[Sharpies volley]

We'll win the league

 

[LABlue2]

It hasn’t been that long to be honest, no reason to panic either / clearly no other clubs trying to poach our deals (jinx)

 

[Debunkology]

Some poor Chinese Evertonian dies in one of these 24 hour internet cafe after forgetting to eat and drink googling "Everton" non-stop.

 

[The binman chronicles]

I like this new ev. On our terms we announce when we want to. I'm sure they are doing this for the fun of it now.

 

[Johnnytotal]

Chris Waddles penalty from the 1990 World Cup semi final will land.

 

[summerisle]

Jacob Rees-Mogg will celebrate the dawning of the twentieth-century.

 

[Houghty19]

I will likely have sobered up. Although i can't promise this.

 

[ClausThomsen]

A thousand urine soaked mattresses will dry out.

 

[madkiwi]

Peace in the Middle-East...

 

[helpimonfire]

Mini Anden will ask me to marry her

Is this just make believe?

Oh FFS dude!

 

[random]

I take davek and foreverblue92 off ignore

 

[Timmyistop1]

Liverpool fans take the blame for something

Jesus we can’t wait that long!

 

[summerisle]

@davek agrees that Martinez is crap.

 

[blue61]

Tom Davies will pull off a 10 yard pass in his testimonial in front of a packed riverside crowd.